mmw108 Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 I was with my boyfriend for 6.5 years. He broke up with me a week ago. I'm devastated of course, but I'm taking responsibility for the problems I caused. I know that I was jealous and insecure... I lashed out when he was hanging out with a friend of his, who happens to be a female. He was hurt because I did not trust him. I also see that there was nothing going on between them. Again, we were together for 6.5 years, and he has always been honest with me-to a fault, even. I know that my insecurity drove him away. I texted and called him for a few days after the break up and it only drove him away more. He will not respond to me and I know it is because we just broke up and emotions are really strong right now. I know that I do not need him to be happy and I'm focused on getting myself healthy right now. I want to be with him, but I want to do the work I need to be in a fulfilling relationship, first. I have decided to not contact him for awhile. He needs time to heal and time to be alone, as do I. I want to contact him eventually, but I'm not sure when or how. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
butterfly2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 How long has this friend of his been in his life? I figure six years is a long time to just let go of over you being jealous over another women hanging with your man. Of course you are jealous, who wouldnt be? After six years if he wants to call it quits.....show him what it is like to be without you........ go no contact... he will probably be crawling back to you... he broke it off, let him do the work. I am so mad at men right now, really I am.
Fufu Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 "I was with my boyfriend for 6.5 years. He broke up with me a week ago. I'm devastated of course, but I'm taking responsibility for the problems I caused. I know that I was jealous and insecure... I lashed out when he was hanging out with a friend of his, who happens to be a female. He was hurt because I did not trust him. I also see that there was nothing going on between them. Again, we were together for 6.5 years, and he has always been honest with me-to a fault, even. I know that my insecurity drove him away. I texted and called him for a few days after the break up and it only drove him away more. He will not respond to me and I know it is because we just broke up and emotions are really strong right now. " 6.5 years is a long relationship, however it is not long enough to continue to blaming yourself. You didn't cause the relationship to break up. Your case is really similiar to mine, my ex bf also broke up with me because he went out with a female friend twice without letting me know. Though, I did make mistakes in my previous relationship, but if my ex-bf truly was committed to me, he wouldn't just leave me. Please stop contacting him, he had chosen to leave you, you can choose to move on and be happy. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "I know that I do not need him to be happy and I'm focused on getting myself healthy right now. I want to be with him, but I want to do the work I need to be in a fulfilling relationship, first." You are absolutely right, he is not the only source of your happiness and it's crucial you regain yourself back. However, please do not think of you wanting him in your life, because this little hope will hinder your healing process and you won't be able to see things clearly. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I have decided to not contact him for awhile. He needs time to heal and time to be alone, as do I." Good job for deciding not to contact him, however remember NC (No Contact) is mainly and solely for yourself and not for getting back with him. If he wants to be with you, let him be the one who initiate sincere actions to woo you back. As long as you keep thinking of wanting to get him back, you will be easily lured and tempted by his breadcrumbs moves (If he make this action), and you will be easily believed that he's coming back for you when he has no such intention to be with you again. If he starts to contact you and stuffs and you have moved on by then, you will be able to think logically with a cool and open mind if he is worth to be with again. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I want to contact him eventually, but I'm not sure when or how. Any suggestions would be appreciated" As I mentioned above, NC is mainly and solely for yourself. Don't even think of you want to contact him eventually.
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