OnceTwice Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Hi everyone. My story: My ex girlfriend and I had been dating for 6 years. We met in Highschool when we were just 14 years old. She broke up with me about a month ago and neither one of us have been contacting each other. She broke up with me because she felt that she never got the chance to just be herself and experience her youth. I completely understand her considering we met at such a young age. You hear this a lot here in this forum, but we were perfect for each other. We were absolutely in love. We still are, but she insists that this break up is the best option for us right now. Man, the last month has been so painful.... It's as if we met at the wrong time you know? Maybe 5 years from now when we're both more mature we could really make this relationship work till the end. I truly believe we could work and she does too, it's just that the timing is kind of off. We met too early. When we went our separate ways a month ago, she told me she's scared that I might completely forget about her and not want to try again in the future. I'm scared of that too. That's why it's hard for me to move on. How am I suppose to move on while at the same time have hope that we might be together again. It doesn't make sense. I'm stuck in limbo. Although it has been so painful, I believe I can move on with my life. But at the same time, I don't want to because I don't want to give up whatever's left of us. I love her so much, and she still loves me a lot too. In fact, she wants to be with me! Just not right now...It might seem like she's playing with me (she might very well be), but she's being completely honest with me. She believes breaking up will help her grow as an individual and also increase our chances of being together again in the future. She told me she doesn't want to hook up with other guys, but sh*t happens when your single. We might try again in the future, but I have no interest whatsoever if she's been hooking up with other guys. It makes me sick to think about that kind of stuff. I see four options: Wait around until she matures (unhealthy for me), try to get back together (defeats the purpose...), break off for good (none of that "future possibility" BS), or stay broken up but promise each other that we keep our hands to ourselves and then try again in the future (I think people around here call this a "break") What should I do? This "no contact" for the past month is killing me. Should I take her out for lunch and tell her how I feel? Or should I wait for her to break the no contact?
Hhhh Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 This is a very delicate situation because it seems like you guys ended on good terms, if you make any wrong moves you can ruin the possibility of being together in the future. I suggest you you sit her down, let her know that you won't be waiting around for her in the future, then let her know you have to start NC to move on. That is the best option if you would like to keep your sanity, it will also give her the time to think about what she wants out of her life. I have seen these types of break ups on the boards countless number of times. I will never understand why someone would give up a lifetime of happiness to live a life of temporary happiness.
butterfly2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 i dont believe that you can screw something up by telling someone your feelings. They either want you or they dont and you being yourself and being honest shouldnt change someones feelings about you. Be YOU and if she doesnt like it then it might not be meant to be. If you love her go get her.
love is dangerous Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 (edited) This is the kind of situation where if you love someone LET THEM GO,if they come back to you they were yours and will be for ever. if she really is in love and you were perfect together she WILL come back but you have to let her go and realise this .but dont sit around waiting for her as she wont feel the need to come back. Id say go no contact to give her time to miss you and think shes losing you.many people screw up and lose them cause they cant do this. Edited April 4, 2011 by love is dangerous
Author OnceTwice Posted April 4, 2011 Author Posted April 4, 2011 This is the kind of situation where if you love someone LET THEM GO,if they come back to you they were yours and will be for ever. if she really is in love and you were perfect together she WILL come back but you have to let her go and realise this .but dont sit around waiting for her as she wont feel the need to come back. Id say go no contact to give her time to miss you and think shes losing you.many people screw up and lose them cause they cant do this. Thanks for your thoughts, I really appreciate it. I wish it was that easy, but it's such a complicated situation. If I continue no contact, it means I'm going to have to move on. If I move on, it means I'm completely giving up whatever hope there is of her and I in the future. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. On the other hand, I can continue to have this hope of having her again in the future, but then I'd just be sitting and waiting which would be unhealthy for me.
loverboy1984 Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 My ex girlfriend of 6 years just broke up with me 3 weeks ago. I dont know why but im guessing because she wanted to explore and be herself. Im in the same situation as you except we met when we were in college at 19 and now we are 26 and in Grad school. Honestly I think there is always hope but people change and they change with their environment. Its really hard but Im learning to accept its over. Im doing no contact but will contact her in a couple months to see where shes at and if I see theres no hope then I can move on as I have been. I say you give her space then check back with her in a while and make sure you will both be in a position to have a meaningful relationship as mature people and not what it was in high school. But dont wait around and miss another opportunity.
love is dangerous Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Thanks for your thoughts, I really appreciate it. I wish it was that easy, but it's such a complicated situation. If I continue no contact, it means I'm going to have to move on. If I move on, it means I'm completely giving up whatever hope there is of her and I in the future. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. On the other hand, I can continue to have this hope of having her again in the future, but then I'd just be sitting and waiting which would be unhealthy for me. just go no contact thats your only choice right now you cant stop her youll only push her away . my advice is to let go , move on , if you meet someone else good if you get back together good,just be open to anything, but move on i would say and when and if you do get back together it will be a fresh start. i no its hard but its what you have to do .
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