Just ended serious relationship

[Mathias]

The story basically is this. My sister, her fiance and I were moving out of our house near college to a larger 3 bedroom apartment. Our neighboor whom I hung out with quite frequently started to take interest in me while her boyfriend of 2 months never spent time with her and sucked in bed. She broke up with him and we hooked up the next day, she hadn't slept with him for about 3 weeks. My sister, her fiance and I offered her the third bedroom temporarily to cut down our rent, being that a baby was goign to be born and takign the room. 2 weeks later we moved in, by that point we were sleeping with each other often, and pretty much ended up in a relationship. Instead of moving into the third room, she kind of just ended up with me. Everything was great through the holidays, to which I temporarily ended up working at groom shop with her for seasonal help. Within a week, her female boss basically goaded her to talk about her whoel sex history in one week I worked with her. It made me upset.

 

3 months later, my sister and her fiance began to get angry with her and told my parents that she was doing pills behind my back. My sister who is known for spreading rumors angered me, but found out was telling the truth when I told my girlfriend of the accusations. SHe broke down crying and ended up telling me she was snorting oxycotin at least 4-5 times a day and that she was plannig on quitting first then telling me, that she had the detox pills that she purchased.

 

So we took a week retreat to my granparents condo of which I cared for her during withdrawl symptoms, takign off work and school ect. A week later she couldn't bear it any more and I told her to do or not just don't involve me. She ended up relapsing until about february. She was sick out of work once per week, to which I substituted for her telling her boss she was sick. Until she had about 35 bucks in her bank account and ended up callign and tellign her mom in new england that she had relapsed, her mom was upset and wanted nothign to do with her. I however told her i'd pay for therapy and the medication for recovery. It ended up saving her job and keeping her off the pills.

 

The next week her parents came down with a plan to already buy a vacation home, I even involved my family in findign them a broker to do so. They ende up buying a 1900 sq ft. home, with a pool and hottub to which they would retire in 10 years. They also offered us to live in it and pay rent. until they retired. It all seemed like maybe a pay off for doing good deeds for once.

 

A week later, I caught her texting to her ex boyfriend of 8 years. She told me she was over him and was just a very good friend, he lived thousands of miles a way, and that she just imagined doing this all with him, but didn't regret she was doing it with me. The next day she went into work her boss got her to believe that I was continually looking through her stuff and invading her privacy. I had not even looked at her phone once till that incident, or anythign else without permission of course. She became angry with me and got into a fight about it.

 

A week later I quit the job at the groom shop, after her boss stated that she believed my gf and I shouldn't be in a relationship.I told her it was best I quit for our relationship, and even working together with my gf a little wasn't healthy. A week after that I asked my gf that if she wasn't that interested in the house, I didn't want to be either. I figured she had cold feet, thus contact old buddies about it and talkign of our relationship with them. She decided that when she moved into the house she didn't want me to move with her, that we should take a break apart then we'd decide to move together later. I disagreed and figured she was using me, so I told her lets take the break now then, and she could live at her boss's house temporarily while she is gettign clean and focusing on work and her health.

 

The first night she texted that she really did miss me and that she wanted to hang out on tuesday since she had the day off. She came for about 2 hours until her boss found out she was sending the day with me and called her into work at 11am. We decided that we would spend the night together on thursday. When wednesday came around, she said she'd call me after work. She texted a few I love you's during the day and I ended up calling her later first. She said she was just getting out and her and her boss were goign to go somewhere real fast and shed clal me after. 2 hours later i get a call hearing her boss saying i'll be pisse dint he background. She tells me that her boss got a tounge ring and talked her into getting her vaginal hood peirced. I was not upsett that she got it pierced but upset that she felt she couldn't tell me. SHe then said that her boss didn't want me to teach her son guitar lessons any more, that I wasn't really serious about it. I said I didn't want to do any further business transactions with her boss that its ok. She said she text me before she went to bed and call me the next morning before sleep over. I recieved no text that night, but she was able to post an update on facebook about her piercing. She called me the next morning, I acted cool and happy as if nothing wrong was happening. She sounded a bit annoyed ont he phone. Later at work I get a text from her boss that she didn't want me to do the guitar lessons any more, that my gf told her she did drugs and that I let her do drugs and that I'm a liar.

 

I didn't answer, later that day I called my girlfriend and mentioned the nasty text from her boss. SHe said she had heard about it. I asked her if she believed i let her do drugs. She said it was kinda iffy and she didn't know, she thought that I enabled her to do drugs like her parents. Mind you I never bought, drove to nor made her feel it was ever ok to snort oxycotin. I told her it was over and that she needed to think for herself.

 

Later that night she texted me that I always brought her down, made her feel guilty and that I wasted her time. All I said in return is that she was great but didn't have enough time for me to have a relationship.

 

Her mom has been callign with wtf happened between you two, you seemed so in love why is she doing this since then. HEr mom also wants me to wait around until the house closes nbecuase she thinks it's the boss manipulating her to make the descisions.

 

I am not sure if I should wait around or even give this a second chance. Though I wish after therapy and her gettign clean she may be differnt. I have been so upset and heartbroken becuase I love her, any opinions? I have had no contact with her in the last 3 days.

Edited April 3, 2011 by Mathias

[Little_Bee]

She is a drug addict and just uses you! She even blames you for her taking drugs. This only shows that she is far from getting clean as the first thing would be that she takes on the responsibility for her addiction.

The only advise I can give you is to keep away from her, she is not good for you and it doesn't matter what you do as long as she is not clean she will never be able to have a relationship with you, which is not shadowed by her addiction.

Really think about it; do you really want to get more drawn into her problems? Do you really want to be confronted with her drug addiction?

This really doesn't sound like anything healthy and will only destroy you if you don't make the runner.

 

She first need to sort out her life as no one else can do this for her, before you should even think about meeting her again.

 

Sorry, if I am to harsh but I have worked with and seen a lot of drug users and my experience taught me that there is never anything good coming out of drug addicts. The worse case would be that you end up with not being able to cope with the situation anymore and may even end up taking drugs yourself. Do you really want to take the risk of going through such rough time? Really nobody is worth you risking your own health and inner peace.

[Mathias]

After I broke it off with her. I started looking back and noticing these things. Even during the relationship I would question it myself, then she would do stuff like make me a surprise dinner one night, or do my laundry or buy me a surprise gift, or pop pimples(gross but idk) and the way she looked at me was just total in love sometimes. It's almost like dating a bipolar person. The sad thing is that i still wonder about her health and feel bad for her, I'm trying to not think about it.