Women, is it true that you don't need to do anything and guys just approach you?

[Ross PK]

I've always thought that even below average women didn't really need to do anything to get a date or a ONS, because guys would just approach them.

 

But just now in another topic I've heard that this isn't quite the case

[bac]

I've always thought that even below average women didn't really need to do anything to get a date or a ONS, because guys would just approach them.

 

But just now in another topic I've heard that this isn't quite the case

 

You are right girls do not need to work very hard to get a ONS with a jerk.

They need to do some simple flirting and be cooperative.

The problem is that most girls do not want to have a ONS with the jerk.

 

But, if a girl wants to get a date with a decent/or half-decent man, she should work very hard.

[Ross PK]

You are right girls do not need to work very hard to get a ONS with a jerk.

They need to do some simple flirting and be cooperative.

The problem is that most girls do not want to have a ONS with the jerk.

 

But, if a girl wants to get a date with a decent/or half-decent man, she should work very hard.

 

What do you mean by working hard? She has to approach men and join dating sites?

[Taramere]

For a woman to get male attention, all she needs to do is dress in a way that exposes a lot of flesh, and go to a place where there are men and alcohol. To get the kind of attention she wants, from the kind of man she is interested in, is a bit more complicated.

[zengirl]

Sure, sometimes, and not always when I'm dressed provocatively (I've been asked out at the grocery store in jeans and a T-shirt). But rarely the guys I'd actually want to go out with, to be honest. Of course, in social settings, it's not generally too difficult to get a guy to express interest if you give him even a half-decent signal (eye contact, smile, etc). Depends on the guy.

[chelle21689]

Well I do LITTLE things like try to look good, be around them, look approachable, and have them catch me looking at them a lot (glancing)

[Ross PK]

Why do I even come on here to talk about this kind of stuff, when I'm not even a part of the dating, having sex, attraction world at all?

 

It just seems stupid.

[Ross PK]

I just feel like I'm a different species from everyone else.

[Ross PK]

Ross, my guess is because you are interested and working up to taking more chances so that you can find a girlfriend.

 

Like joining that ivillageUK site.

 

I didn't join as there seemed to hardly be any posts or topics on the site.

[NoMagicBullet]

In answer to your original question, no, it is not true. There's probably less work involved for naturally beautiful women compared to the average or below average looks, but I doubt it's no work at all.

 

As a woman in the average cateogry, I can tell you that rarely do men ask me out -- at least not in ordinary settings like grocery shopping, etc. I don't really spend time in bars, so I can't comment on that environment. I've gotten asked on more dates via online dating (which is tough, since everyone's catalog shopping for the perfect date) than I ever have in real life. It makes me wonder if men ask women out at all anymore, or if the men who do ask simply pass me by for the hotties.

[somedude81]

I really do wonder how often the average girl gets asked out or get told by guys that they like her.

 

And no, I'm not really interested in the bar or club data as that isn't the real world.

[Ross PK]

@Ross, Really? I haven't been on there in awhile, maybe it's not doing well. Probaby there are others, if you google UK message boards or something like that.

 

My feeling is something is just stopping you from trying. Anxiety maybe or belief that you can't succeed or... something.

 

You said it though, the morbidly obese guy sitting in his own poop had a girlfriend. You CAN find a girlfriend. I am sure that you can.

 

The way I feel now, I'm not even sure if I want one anymore. Kinda feels like 'what's the point?'. I don't know what's wrong with me at the moment.

[Ross PK]

@Ross, that's okay, you don't have to do anything at the moment. But isn't it a very low risk step to join some UK message boards?

 

Maybe. I did actually try a long time ago, but for some reason nothing ever happens between myself and girls in the UK on forums.

 

Whenever anything has ever happened between me and a woman online, you know like there's 'chemistry' between us and we would both like to meet each other, they're always in another country.

[Leeway Harris]

As a woman in the average cateogry, I can tell you that rarely do men ask me out -- at least not in ordinary settings like grocery shopping, etc. I don't really spend time in bars, so I can't comment on that environment. I've gotten asked on more dates via online dating (which is tough, since everyone's catalog shopping for the perfect date) than I ever have in real life. It makes me wonder if men ask women out at all anymore, or if the men who do ask simply pass me by for the hotties.

This is very refreshing to see. Most of the women posting here seem to go on a lot about how much unwanted attention they get from the opposite sex. "Oh, woe is me, why do guys have to like me so much!"

 

I'm half-kidding, of course, I'm sure unwanted attention can get pretty exhausting, but it's nice to see there are women who understand what it's like to feel totally invisible to the opposite sex.

[MarlyStar]

No, it's not true. It's never been true for me and I'm not below average in looks.

 

With no encouragement whatsoever, the only men who approach cold (no previous intro, no mutual friends, no exchange of glances, no work or school connection) are jerks.

 

I saw a study recently that said before a man approached a woman in a bar an average of 19 exchanges took place (looks, hair flipping, posturing, smiles, etc...)

 

It may be subtle or maybe even unconscious, but mostly there's a dialogue before the first word is ever spoken.

[somedude81]

no previous intro, no mutual friends, no exchange of glances, no work or school connection

 

Marly, that's a hell of a lot of exclusions.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I am rarely approached cold. I was approached at borders, on the street and when doing grocery shopping, but it wasn't by men I would be interested in.

 

If I want to be approached by more desirable men, I have to make effort as in glance their way, smile at them, repeat. Only sometimes they would approach me in this scenario. So it still requries some effort.

 

Of course, I get approached more in a bar/club type setting. But even then I would have nights where I would just dance with friends and we won't get approached by anyone.

[stepka]

This is very refreshing to see. Most of the women posting here seem to go on a lot about how much unwanted attention they get from the opposite sex. "Oh, woe is me, why do guys have to like me so much!"

 

I'm half-kidding, of course, I'm sure unwanted attention can get pretty exhausting, but it's nice to see there are women who understand what it's like to feel totally invisible to the opposite sex.

 

Yes the reason they are annoyed by that is because these kinds of guys are usually clueless. If you remember it, think of the Wild and Crazy guys from SNL, or look them up. I used to be approached quite a lot and almost never was it someone I wanted to go out with. I had friends who were approached much more often and that was often a function of how outgoing they were. Now that I'm older I'm almost never approached but when I am, it's usually someone I would like to talk to and the idiots have dropped by the wayside.

[Leeway Harris]

Yes the reason they are annoyed by that is because these kinds of guys are usually clueless. If you remember it, think of the Wild and Crazy guys from SNL, or look them up.

 

I remember the Wild and Crazy Guys, I was a baby when they were on, but my parents loved them.

[denise_xo]

I've always thought that even below average women didn't really need to do anything to get a date or a ONS, because guys would just approach them.

 

But just now in another topic I've heard that this isn't quite the case

 

I've never experienced that much attention from men, especially not serious attention (as in, not someone just after a random ONS). I've generally been quite proactive in terms of male relationships because I'm not one who just naturally makes heads turn. I look quite average, I think.

[orangelady]

I've always thought that even below average women didn't really need to do anything to get a date or a ONS, because guys would just approach them.

 

But just now in another topic I've heard that this isn't quite the case

 

Hi Ross.

 

A woman can get a ONS but only with not so looking guys and maybe with janitors, older men who are not successful. But an average or below average women might can't get an ONS with a good looking, successful guy. Why would he need HER? He's got other models and hot chicks lined up for him.

 

 

Now, that would be for ONS.

 

 

As for dates, we have to work VERY hard. Too much competition for us ladies.

[orangelady]

Maybe. I did actually try a long time ago, but for some reason nothing ever happens between myself and girls in the UK on forums.

 

Whenever anything has ever happened between me and a woman online, you know like there's 'chemistry' between us and we would both like to meet each other, they're always in another country.

 

 

You're not alone. It happens to me too. And when they're in another country, you know there's no chances of it working out. Do you think there's a reason why people like us don't have a chemistry with people in the same country as us?

[nothappyjan]

hmm i'm a pretty attractive female and i cant say a man has EVER approached me when i have just been out doing regular things. When im out at night occasionally my group of friends will have really drunk weird guys come up but they dont even want our number or anything they just are drink and being stupid. So the only way i've ever met a guy is once tnhorugh work or otherwise its been online dating. I seem to get lots of action online just not in real life

[threebyfate]

Ross, it's gotten so bad for me that even though I'm married with a baby, guys try to break into my home to ask me out.

 

Sucks to be a woman.

[Taramere]

Ross, it's gotten so bad for me that even though I'm married with a baby, guys try to break into my home to ask me out.

 

Sucks to be a woman.

 

Haha.

 

hmm i'm a pretty attractive female and i cant say a man has EVER approached me when i have just been out doing regular things. When im out at night occasionally my group of friends will have really drunk weird guys come up but they dont even want our number or anything they just are drink and being stupid. So the only way i've ever met a guy is once tnhorugh work or otherwise its been online dating. I seem to get lots of action online just not in real life

 

I think a lot of it comes down to where people live. I live in a medium sized city in the UK, and the only time I ever get approached in the day to day is by people new to town who looking for directions or drunks/drug addicts/mentally ill people looking for somebody to engage with them.

 

Normal strangers making polite and interested conversation seems more usual in either capital cities or the small, picturesque towns. Anywhere that's popular with tourists.