Kura77 Posted April 3, 2011 Posted April 3, 2011 Hey folks.....previous thread of mine here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t253351/?highlight=Kura77 I was with my ex for 6-7 years, we split 1 year ago. We met when we were both 25, this was my first relationship, not hers. She ended it but I didn't try & stop her, coz I wasn't sure myself. But I am sure now - love doesn't begin to describe how I feel about this girl. Anyway, been friends since, for me just because I couldn't - and still can't - bear not having her in my life. Lately her & her 15yo son been staying at my pad, while she looks for somwhere new to live. Last few weeks though she's gone to stay with her sister, because her 'friend' (male) from the states come to stay. This is a dude she's known online for the past 11 years or so. I wouldn't have the dude in my house. Too f**king weird. So they're over staying with her sister. Her son still staying with me, coz he don't like it over there. What triggered this thread is that she comes over this morning and says "we kind of like eachother". I knew it. And I know she was putting it lightly. Before she left, I slipped this letter & poem into her bag, explaining how I really feel. She found it but I told her to wait before reading it. She probably just bin it. I am now at the very bottom of a pit of absolute misery & despair. What makes it hard is that she ended it - I think - because I'm kind of a stay-at-home guy, never really went to her friends' parties & things with her, kind of took her for granted. But her leaving has changed me to the core, I can feel it, and I know I could be the kind of guy she needs, the kind of guy I should've been when I was with her. I just need that elusive one last chance. Recently I've been working out & following a strict bodybuilding diet, and starting to show results. But I've now lost all motivation. I've come here because there's no-one else I can talk to. Wouldn't go to a counsellor, can't get over the thought that they don't give a s**t about me, they're just there because they're getting paid. My family care about me, but are wrapped up in their own lives, and are useless when it comes to giving advice. How do you carry on with life? How do you put on a happy face around people, concentrate on work, just live, with this massive, crushing emotional burden on your back? I know about NC - and did it for 2-3 weeks at one point, but honestly, the thought of it is just inconceivable. Even if she married this other dick, I'd still probably want to be friends with her. How f**ked up is that? BUT I NEEEEED HER.
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