Lolita_Sky Posted April 3, 2011 Posted April 3, 2011 Hi I'm new to the community. My question is why would my ex whom DUMPED me take out the time to make something for me, for my birthday? He has not given it to me yet, he wants to wait until Midnight on Monday to give it to me. It's nothing like sex what so ever. He said its something he put together after we "split". We've been broken for about a month. Why would he do this I mean I wasn't even expecting him to tell me happy b-day let along GIVE me something. It sounds kind of strange. What you all think of this.
Author Lolita_Sky Posted April 3, 2011 Author Posted April 3, 2011 Please....I would really like to know what's going on with him. It's confusing the hell out of me...
lapse Posted April 3, 2011 Posted April 3, 2011 (edited) Well, I'd be curious, no doubt. We can't know any more than you can why he did it or what it is. In fact, you'd have a much better guess at that because you knew him. Was he a woodworker? Did he have an obsession with crafting the perfect paper airplane? Seriously, though, maybe he cares about you and was thinking about you and threw his energy into making something he thought you needed or would like. Personally, I'm a bit pessimistic when it comes to the current ex, so I'd be worried he made me a stink bomb or worse. Storing up a big fart he made 'specially' for me. LMAO j/k he wasn't like that, but still... you know what I mean. I think these are the most probable causes of this 'bizarre' behavior: 1. He was thinking of you and wanted to give you something authentic and he either has a need to connect with you or at least wants you to remember him in a positive light. 2. He is very angry and made something that will help him express his feelings and get on with recovering and he's gonna 'surprise' you Here's a funny story, though: I did give a [long-time ago] ex a present one time... made just for him and no one else. He was really a stringent Christian type who was often concerned that I was a heathen because I'm a feminist and really into postmodern writing and theory. He obviously had a hard time being able to reconcile me with the eyes of his God. We had long discussions about this. Anyway - when we were dating, he grabbed a bw photo of me standing in the woods (it was a really neat photo in terms of composition and overall feel) and took it in to have it copied and framed. He called after he took it to get permission and said he realized after he took it that it was actually "very personal" and I may not want to have copies made and may not want it just 'anywhere.' I laughed it off and said thanks for asking, but of course he could copy that pic if he liked it so much. Fast forward a couple of months - we break up. Shortly thereafter, I go over and visit a mutual friend and see that [godforsaken] picture sitting on our mutual friend's coffee table. My mouth drops. Mutual friend says, "[myname], just hold on a sec..." He knows I'm pissed and says, "[Ex-bf] said that he didn't want it around any more since you broke up and he thought I might like to have it." So. I ask mutual friend if he minds if I reclaim it. And I proceed to take it out of the frame and start drawing on it. I draw a couple of horns coming out of my head, color my eyes red, add a good ol evil tail, and transform the tree that my hand is on into a flaming pitchfork. I put the photo back in the frame and drive on over to his house and throw it face up on his concrete doorstep so the glass will shatter a bit. And leave. I could just imagine his face when he came home to find it. Gawd. I laughed so hard. That was one of the most cleansing things I've ever done post-breakup. LMAO Edited April 3, 2011 by lapse
Author Lolita_Sky Posted April 3, 2011 Author Posted April 3, 2011 Well, I'd be curious, no doubt. We can't know any more than you can why he did it or what it is. In fact, you'd have a much better guess at that because you knew him. Was he a woodworker? Did he have an obsession with crafting the perfect paper airplane? Seriously, though, maybe he cares about you and was thinking about you and threw his energy into making something he thought you needed or would like. Personally, I'm a bit pessimistic when it comes to the current ex, so I'd be worried he made me a stink bomb or worse. Storing up a big fart he made 'specially' for me. LMAO j/k he wasn't like that, but still... you know what I mean. I think these are the most probable causes of this 'bizarre' behavior: 1. He was thinking of you and wanted to give you something authentic and he either has a need to connect with you or at least wants you to remember him in a positive light. 2. He is very angry and made something that will help him express his feelings and get on with recovering and he's gonna 'surprise' you Here's a funny story, though: I did give a [long-time ago] ex a present one time... made just for him and no one else. He was really a stringent Christian type who was often concerned that I was a heathen because I'm a feminist and really into postmodern writing and theory. He obviously had a hard time being able to reconcile me with the eyes of his God. We had long discussions about this. Anyway - when we were dating, he grabbed a bw photo of me standing in the woods (it was a really neat photo in terms of composition and overall feel) and took it in to have it copied and framed. He called after he took it to get permission and said he realized after he took it that it was actually "very personal" and I may not want to have copies made and may not want it just 'anywhere.' I laughed it off and said thanks for asking, but of course he could copy that pic if he liked it so much. Fast forward a couple of months - we break up. Shortly thereafter, I go over and visit a mutual friend and see that [godforsaken] picture sitting on our mutual friend's coffee table. My mouth drops. Mutual friend says, "[myname], just hold on a sec..." He knows I'm pissed and says, "[Ex-bf] said that he didn't want it around any more since you broke up and he thought I might like to have it." So. I ask mutual friend if he minds if I reclaim it. And I proceed to take it out of the frame and start drawing on it. I draw a couple of horns coming out of my head, color my eyes red, add a good ol evil tail, and transform the tree that my hand is on into a flaming pitchfork. I put the photo back in the frame and drive on over to his house and throw it face up on his concrete doorstep so the glass will shatter a bit. And leave. I could just imagine his face when he came home to find it. Gawd. I laughed so hard. That was one of the most cleansing things I've ever done post-breakup. LMAO No he is not a craftsman.....just the thought of him with a saw. LMAO I have NO clue what it could be. It's really something that he would even do this for me. He was so damn lazy in the relationship so it just came as a shock to me that he would even do this. I don't know what he made its something that is over the computer though because he wants to send it to me at midnight. I am soooo confused, he acts like he wants us to be friends. But friends don't do things like this not unless they harbored some deep strong feelings for them. He doesn't ignore me though whenever I contact him. He replies as soon as he can. He however has not made an effort to contact me, so I am kind of at a position that maybe he does not want to get back together but still wants me to see him as a good person. Which I do despite how he went about breaking up with me. It wasn't all that good. lol But I forgave him. Break ups are never easy. I think that he might want to slowly rebuild our relationship though. I know how he is and even though I didn't think he would make me a birthday present I knew he would have most likely wished me a happy birthday exactly at Midnight on Monday. Because he's such a romantic that way. I'm not going to over analyze it and just accept it for what it is.
Author Lolita_Sky Posted April 3, 2011 Author Posted April 3, 2011 I have no idea why he would do that but now I'm curious. I hope you will come back and tell us. Me either. It's so strange he was the one that mentioned my birthday. Not me he was like "Oh, I haven't forgotten that your birthday is on Monday" I was kind of surprised he brought it up. But yes, I will update and let you all know what it was and what his intentions are.
Author Lolita_Sky Posted April 4, 2011 Author Posted April 4, 2011 It was a song he made for me. It was inspired after we broke up. He doesn't want to get back together. It was more or less an apology for everything that happened. Might I add he is a song writer and that was the first song he has been inspired to write in a year. I don't know where things will go from here, I know he still cares for me and just may be confused at this point in his life. But I told him that I am moving on and that there is no point in holding on to some one whom does not share the same feelings for me as I do him. That it would be a waste of my time holding on to some one whom does not want me. I don't want to give up, but at the same time I feel as if I would if I continued to hold on to him and the past. Explained to him that I know my worth and that most men would kill to have a woman like me, that he wanted the very same thing in a woman. He had it, but he doesn't seem to realize that.
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