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Here's my situation; when should I ask her?


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Posted

Hey all.

 

I recently started seeing a girl that I went to high school with (were both early 20s) and we've gone on two dates so far. They went well, and we kissed a little at the end of the second one. Anyway, we've planned a third one that's in the next few days.

 

After that, I have to leave the state for a few weeks because of family matters. I'm then coming back for about a month and a half, but then in June I have to go away for about 2 months because of military obligations (I'll be back for awhile after that).

 

Anyway, after two dates I really like her and I know she's definitely girlfriend material. I really want to become exclusive before I leave for the two months just to show her I'm willing to commit to her. Does anyone have any ideas of when or how I should go about asking her? ;)

Posted

Wait until she asks you first. Until then, keep dating her. If she doesn't ask, date on, my friend.

Posted

Read this by Pook and Anti-Dump:

 

Never Ask to Be Exclusive

 

Why would you do that? She is winning YOU, right?

 

Quote:

Becoming exclusive with a woman means the both of you talk about not dating or seeing anyone else. The dating with others comes to an end.

 

Never ask a women to become exclusive. She must ask YOU. She must talk about it FIRST.

 

Why? If a woman hasn't asked you yet it means she is still open to seeing others. She still has DOUBTS about you. Highly interested women don't want you going out with other women.

 

A woman asking for exclusivity is like a 'marriage proposal'. She is cementing and laying the foundation for true intimacy.

 

She wants something that's lasting. It is the ULTIMATE test of interest, guys. She is 'proposing'.

 

If you ask first, you will never know her true interest level. Why didn't she bring it up? How come she is still letting you see others? Why isn't she CLOSING her options? Is she seeing someone else?

 

Think about it.

 

But Anti-Dump, what if the guy already just asked the exclusive question?

 

Quote:

Did she say "I was wondering about that too?". Or "I'm glad you brought this up"?

 

I used to mention it first myself. One girl said that she wanted to know about that.

 

Did she act RELIEVED? Did she act like you defused a bomb?

 

A woman can like a guy a rather small amount and agree. Relationships are built on action, not words.

 

SHE HAS TO ASK, Matey. Then you know for sure. Good luck next time. Just keep it in the back of your mind.

  • Author
Posted (edited)

And that's what I'll do. Thanks man.

Edited by ls32ssibm
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