pandagirl Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 My friend was just broken up with out of nowhere. This guy has us *all* fooled. Not to mention, they've been friends they were young, so they had known each other for a long time. He went from the most considerate, thoughtful guy, to a complete dick, and broke up with her. I just don't understand. It's so disappointing.
CloudLiver Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 There's not enough information in your post to actually warrant a response. Maybe his Mom died and he's pissed. Maybe he got bored. Maybe his girlfriend cheated. Maybe he cheated. It could've been anything. Either way, your question isn't very clear.
Author pandagirl Posted April 2, 2011 Author Posted April 2, 2011 There's not enough information in your post to actually warrant a response. Maybe his Mom died and he's pissed. Maybe he got bored. Maybe his girlfriend cheated. Maybe he cheated. It could've been anything. Either way, your question isn't very clear. They've been friends for a long time. She didn't cheat. Who knows if he did. It just happened very suddenly. They were long-distance, but they saw each other every 2 weeks. He was the one adamant that they'd make it, planning the future together, etc. He basically told her, "It shouldn't be this hard." And that was that.
threebyfate Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 There's got to be more to this than what you either know or are explaining, pandagirl. His "It shouldn't be this hard" is telling but what it's telling can only be told by him, from his perspective. Your friend might have an idea but she's probably not going to say. She'll want to elicit sympathy from her perspective.
CloudLiver Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 Panda, it's very possible he just got tired of long distance. Not uncommon at all. For me, once every two weeks isn't enough.
Author pandagirl Posted April 2, 2011 Author Posted April 2, 2011 There's got to be more to this than what you either know or are explaining, pandagirl. His "It shouldn't be this hard" is telling but what it's telling can only be told by him, from his perspective. Your friend might have an idea but she's probably not going to say. She'll want to elicit sympathy from her perspective. She a really good friend of mine, and she honestly is such a genuine, wonderful person. The only thing she can think of is that he has a weird relationship with his father (who is on his 4th marriage), and can't deal with conflict in general. Even though she was aware of these things, she never thought he'd treat her in the way he did, especially since precluding to the breakup, he was big on communication and listening and talking about issues.
dispatch3d Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 I'm trying to think of when I'm mad. I think it's mostly related to when someone is inconsiderate of me, and acts in a way that is completely selfish to them. I think I get upset when I think someone else is upset/being purposefully mean to me. If a guy goes from being very nice->very mean then breaks up with you, I would assume the girl was repeatedly doing something that really bothered him and she never made an effort to stop.
threebyfate Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 She a really good friend of mine, and she honestly is such a genuine, wonderful person. The only thing she can think of is that he has a weird relationship with his father (who is on his 4th marriage), and can't deal with conflict in general. Even though she was aware of these things, she never thought he'd treat her in the way he did, especially since precluding to the breakup, he was big on communication and listening and talking about issues.If it's really important for her to know what happened, she should go back to the number of "conflicts" that they had, as well as closely examine their last few conflicts. What was the subject matter, regardless if it appeared to be resolved. Something has set him off. But the best source of information would be him and post breakup, insecure individuals are rarely able or willing to discuss their reasons.
Legend Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 Long distance is difficult. That's probably what happened to him, he got fed up with the distance.
Author pandagirl Posted April 2, 2011 Author Posted April 2, 2011 If it's really important for her to know what happened, she should go back to the number of "conflicts" that they had, as well as closely examine their last few conflicts. What was the subject matter, regardless if it appeared to be resolved. Something has set him off. But the best source of information would be him and post breakup, insecure individuals are rarely able or willing to discuss their reasons. It was normal couple stuff, how to figure out how to make the relationship work long-distance, etc. He was visiting her, things were great, he got distant for a couple days, then he broke up with her. It it possible that some people have such a sensitive reaction to something, that they just flip a switch that quick? I don't think she wants to talk to him. She thinks the way he treated her was horrible, and though she's super sad, she knows she deserved better than how he treated her at the end. She said it's already too late.
threebyfate Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 It was normal couple stuff, how to figure out how to make the relationship work long-distance, etc. He was visiting her, things were great, he got distant for a couple days, then he broke up with her. It it possible that some people have such a sensitive reaction to something, that they just flip a switch that quick? I don't think she wants to talk to him. She thinks the way he treated her was horrible, and though she's super sad, she knows she deserved better than how he treated her at the end. She said it's already too late.If he flipped the switch that quickly, he's probably met someone else. Then if she doesn't want to discuss it with him, she should stop thinking about the why and focus on how to move on. Cycling through why without discussing it with source tends to make moving on more difficult since it maintains your fixation on the object of your disaffection.
Author pandagirl Posted April 2, 2011 Author Posted April 2, 2011 If he flipped the switch that quickly, he's probably met someone else. Then if she doesn't want to discuss it with him, she should stop thinking about the why and focus on how to move on. Cycling through why without discussing it with source tends to make moving on more difficult since it maintains your fixation on the object of your disaffection. This is a person who got her name tattooed on his arm two weeks ago! She is going to move on. She's a strong girl.
threebyfate Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 This is a person who got her name tattooed on his arm two weeks ago! She is going to move on. She's a strong girl.Ha...better yet! He's got to see her name on an ongoing basis! Absolutely love it, love it, love it! Go, go, go!
Author pandagirl Posted April 2, 2011 Author Posted April 2, 2011 Ha...better yet! He's got to see her name on an ongoing basis! Absolutely love it, love it, love it! Go, go, go! haha, i KNOW. god. So lame, but hilarious.
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