guitarguy09 Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 its been four months since my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me for someone else and lied to me about it. Last month she apologized and asked if we could be friends, and i said I simply could not because of what she did. Never initiated contact in these past 2 months but after a few weeks it seems as if she keeps trying to creep her way back into my life by 'liking" some photos of me and statuses on my band's facebook account ( I blocked her and deactivated my personal account since) I guess its almost been a month since we met up and she apologized and told me how much she loved this new guy, trying to justify her wrongs by bringing up good things about him, when it doesnt help at all. My question is, about a few weeks ago I was doing very well without her in my life, but I'm starting to feel empty again. These days, I usually get the urge to say hi to her in hopes that itll make me feel better in some way, but I really know I shouldn't until I'm ready. How do you guys deal with this sort of "relapse"?
Fufu Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 Fight your relapse, distract yourself, do something to make you don't have the time to use your mobile phone or computer to contact her. I believe your in the midst of NC, congratulate yourself. Unless you don't mind starting NC all over again.
kbme311 Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 (edited) I've been cheated on and I know how much it hurts! She is trying to feel better about herself and is feeling guilty. If she wanted you back she would dump this guy and try and talk to you but she hasn't. This is all about her. Bare that in mind next time you want to pick up the phone and tell yourself, If someone truly cares about me, do they cheat on me? People who cheat are the least invested in the relationship and selfish. They are too cowardly to break up and be open about how they really feel so they spin you a yarn whilst looking for the next unfortunate. Just remember that this isn't your problem, it was her. People who really want a relationship to work do everything they can to make it work. They don't cheat and lie and then rub your nose in it. She's immature, self centred and not worth the time of day. If you want to get back with her then wait until she's looking round for the next person to cheat on her current boyfriend with and you can be her sorry excuse for getting out of that one. If you don't then cut her off, realise you had a lucky escape, feel sorry for her latest victim and walk away. Remember it's about her and her guilt. If she cared, she wouldn't have cheated. Edited April 2, 2011 by kbme311
Author guitarguy09 Posted April 3, 2011 Author Posted April 3, 2011 so leaving for someone else is cheating in a way?
kbme311 Posted April 3, 2011 Posted April 3, 2011 so leaving for someone else is cheating in a way? I'm sorry! I misread your post. I thought that when you said she had left you for someone else that she had cheated on you. What you meant was that she broke up with you then started seeing someone else? That paints a completely different light. She did the right thing so maybe she wasn't so selfish and self centred. Sorry if I offended you. I don't have much time for people who cheat. Yes she probably is feeling guilty. She has moved on and that's very very difficult to handle when you still have strong feelings for someone. For your own sanity you just have to move on as she is with someone else and it doesn't get much final than that. We outgrow each other all the time. Friendships and intimate relationships. People either grow with each other or apart from each other and relationships are difficult enough sometimes but much harder if only one is truly invested. If she wanted to be with you - you would be together. As hard as that is to handle it's a fact.
Author guitarguy09 Posted April 3, 2011 Author Posted April 3, 2011 I'm sorry! I misread your post. I thought that when you said she had left you for someone else that she had cheated on you. What you meant was that she broke up with you then started seeing someone else? That paints a completely different light. She did the right thing so maybe she wasn't so selfish and self centred. Sorry if I offended you. I don't have much time for people who cheat. Yes she probably is feeling guilty. She has moved on and that's very very difficult to handle when you still have strong feelings for someone. For your own sanity you just have to move on as she is with someone else and it doesn't get much final than that. We outgrow each other all the time. Friendships and intimate relationships. People either grow with each other or apart from each other and relationships are difficult enough sometimes but much harder if only one is truly invested. If she wanted to be with you - you would be together. As hard as that is to handle it's a fact. yep pretty much thats what she did, left me to be with some other guy she barely knew. I cant seem to see the difference between that and cheating;its almost as if it was to justify her actions; but thats just me
orangelady Posted April 3, 2011 Posted April 3, 2011 its been four months since my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me for someone else and lied to me about it. Last month she apologized and asked if we could be friends, and i said I simply could not because of what she did. Never initiated contact in these past 2 months but after a few weeks it seems as if she keeps trying to creep her way back into my life by 'liking" some photos of me and statuses on my band's facebook account ( I blocked her and deactivated my personal account since) I guess its almost been a month since we met up and she apologized and told me how much she loved this new guy, trying to justify her wrongs by bringing up good things about him, when it doesnt help at all. My question is, about a few weeks ago I was doing very well without her in my life, but I'm starting to feel empty again. These days, I usually get the urge to say hi to her in hopes that itll make me feel better in some way, but I really know I shouldn't until I'm ready. How do you guys deal with this sort of "relapse"? I guess you're lonely. I think it's a bad idea to contact her again. I think you should invest more time on dating and meeting other people instead of thinking too much about contacting her and etc. It's true that the best way to forget about someone is to start a new interest in someone else. Trust me, you don't want to get bitten again. Be wise.
Recommended Posts