one goal Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 When I go to the university in the fall where do I need to hangout at that I will meet girls at besides class? This sucks though. I'm not bad looking, and in good shape and all. Everytime I ask one out they're not interested, or they really have a boyfriend. I keep getting shot down. On top of that they don't seem to talk to me much. I've been shot dwon 3 times in the last year. Latest was that hot looking teacher. She's single, and I've always respect her, and yet she wasn't interested as well. This is bull**** serious. I basically give up!
Lilmisus Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 Though class can be a great place to meet someone, it doesn't seem to be working for you, especially if they teach the course, so I think that you need to widen your options. There are a few: 1. Get a job close by where most people that work there are from your university. 2. Find a little cafe or someplace nearby that has many students going there daily or semi-daily for lunch or coffee. If you go their often enough, you could end up seeing who's a "regular" there and could find something to start up conversation. Even if not, you could find someone there, maybe in line or something, say something cute or whatever, and get things started from there. 3. Find a bar nearby, or a pool hall. 4. Join a club or a sport. 5. Go to more sporting events. Depending on your school, they typically have at least one sport or another going on and having a game every other day. 6. Join an online dating website if you haven't already. 7. Try going to more parties, depending on your age. 8. Go to the park, beach, or mall, if there's one near you that has many people there. Once again, you could become a regular there. 9. Get more acquainted with your teachers (not the hot one), and start talking to them more outside of class and in their office. I know many people who do this, and if you hang out at their office for say 5-10 minutes even just once, at least a few people stop by to say hi. There's a high chance that one of these students could be a girl who you could easily start up a conversation with about the professor who you are or were talking to. 10. Go to the gym or join a recreational group. Like kayaking, hiking group, surfing, biking, etc. My university has many, but I can't say what yours has or doesn't have. But maybe you should try to give yourself a makeover if you think that this could potentially be all about who you are and not that you are looking in the wrong places. Look in the mirror and name all the positive and negative qualities. Notice the ones you can't change (eye color, face shape, height, etc) and learn to love these things if you don't already. Then, notice all the things you can change, like your hair (including facial), weight, your style, muscle size, any acne problems, etc, and ask yourself what you could do to improve them. If there's not anything that needs improvement that you can tell, then start looking at one (or a different one) of the places I mentioned above. If there is something, first tackle that issue, and then start looking again. Maybe even have a (girl) friend help you out in giving you a makeover to help you focus on what you need to change and what you shouldn't fret over. But in the end, there's a whole lot of things you could be doing differently if nothing is working for you yet. The absolute main one being your attitude on dating. Never say that you give up because no one shows interest in you yet. You seem to have some amazing qualities about you, and you need to let them be shown in the way you carry yourself and in the way you talk to girls. Keep the confidence, and never let it go, especially when trying to start on conversation with them. Whoever finally says yes to you (which I'm sure will be soon ) will be very lucky, I'm sure.
Author one goal Posted April 2, 2011 Author Posted April 2, 2011 I will be working at the university, but it will be work study. Hopefully they stick me in the girls dorm, or bookstore or something. Knowing my luck I'll be a janitor or some backroom bs. I have a sour taste in my mouth now, especially how the teacher was mean towards me when she reacted to me asking her out. especially giving me lousy grades because of it.
Dust Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 I would stop putting so much importance on other people liking you. Like yourself.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 one goal.... you are fired from talking about your teacher. Everyone knows it was a sore spot but you will never ever ever get anywhere if you keep thinking about it and drawing a bunch of attention to it. So go clean out your mental desk and consider yourself dismissed from ever mentioning your teacher in a post on LS again. Then you can be receptive to all of the other great advice on here! I mean it onegoal, if you go back to the office of "talking about your teacher" then security will come get you and boot you out in front of everyone. So the above post looked pretty great. You have only asked out 3 girls in the last year, that number is pretty low for a single guy in University. You have to get the ball rolling a little more often to have those successes.
Author one goal Posted April 2, 2011 Author Posted April 2, 2011 Well one of the three girls I asked out was a 10!! Hottest girl I've ever seen. She was in my pilates class in school and sat by me. I asked her out, and she gave me number!! Nice girl. However she actually had a boyfriend, yet I wondered why she gave me her number then.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 One of life's mysteries..... So I have a question for you, why do you only aim for the hottest? I understand sexual attraction and all BUT it actually is irrational when your field is so small.
thatdog Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 Um. Am I nuts or aren't there rules about teacher not dating students? Regardless, hooking up with a teacher seems highly unlikely and you're setting yourself up to fail if these are kinds of girls you're chasing. I think you musn't know many girls yourself otherwise you wouldn't need to be chasing the '10's. IME the kinds of guys that only chase super hotties are the ones that don't believe in female friends. they therefore only see girls in terms of their looks where-as they have a lot more to offer. I will freely admit that i can go to town any day and see 100 girls that are objectively hotter than my gf (she's certainly no ugmo though). But to me she IS a 10 cos of the countless cute mannerisms she has and personality etc etc. and cos of that i find her insanely attractive. Also if you aren't actually looking for a serious gf and just want some fun then you need to remember dating can become a numbers game. I knew some guys in college that we're that great looking but they always had a girl on their arm and never went home alone when single. why? not cos they had a great strike rate or every girl loved them, but just cos they would just keep trying with every remotely cute girl they met until someone said yes.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 ^^^you have a great perspective! Please don't get him talking about his teacher! He has a whole other thread about it and he overfocuses on her, some of the posters were concerned about the negative consequences.
Author one goal Posted April 2, 2011 Author Posted April 2, 2011 One of life's mysteries..... So I have a question for you, why do you only aim for the hottest? I understand sexual attraction and all BUT it actually is irrational when your field is so small. Always aim for the hottest because I'm attracted to them.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 Always aim for the hottest because I'm attracted to them. Try to aim for the lower end of hottest and see if that gets you anywhere. I have a feeling that your expectations are wayyy tooo high.
SummersEve Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 You might try online dating too, for another string of chances. I think that it is a numbers game. Ask 20, get 1. That kind of thing. Also, girls tend to like older guys. With girls your own age, you are just one of the crowd. Go a bit younger and you are a glamorous older man. Good luck!
Author one goal Posted April 2, 2011 Author Posted April 2, 2011 You might try online dating too, for another string of chances. I think that it is a numbers game. Ask 20, get 1. That kind of thing. Also, girls tend to like older guys. With girls your own age, you are just one of the crowd. Go a bit younger and you are a glamorous older man. Good luck! I don't like online dating. Besides most of those girls are ugly!
CloudLiver Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 All you have to do is expand your social circle. The more friends you have means the more access to girls you have. Parties, frats, clubs. This is college. I'm in college. It's incredibly easy to meet girls. Just make more friends and the "finding girls" issue takes care of itself.
SxB Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 (edited) When I go to the university in the fall where do I need to hangout at that I will meet girls at besides class? This sucks though. I'm not bad looking, and in good shape and all. Everytime I ask one out they're not interested, or they really have a boyfriend. I keep getting shot down. On top of that they don't seem to talk to me much. I've been shot dwon 3 times in the last year. Latest was that hot looking teacher. She's single, and I've always respect her, and yet she wasn't interested as well. This is bull**** serious. I basically give up! Anywhere- the mall, a club, a pub, a house party, through friends, at some type of event or function, around where you live, while you walk past them at campus, taking up fun events to enjoy life like sky diving or motocross or something then you can find chicks there too, at the gym, at Work, coffee shop, restaurant, the list goes on. Another good way to do it is to build entirely your own Life, put females second, and then see if you run into any during the hobbies you enjoy doing, do that as well. If a female is interested in you then she won't mind talking to you where ever you both are at. If you see one you like, anywhere, if she is a clerk, if she is walking near you, then go up introduce yourself to her, say something random, see if she wants to do something some time with you...in reality that would be the hardest part...if any of it WAS hard, the hardest part isn't identifying where to find them at. Approach many of them in one single week, approach as many as you want AND make sure it's at least 10 minimum per week. And have fun, that's what dating is about, don't worry about nothing, don't take things personal, and realize you barely know these females. Edited April 2, 2011 by SxB
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted April 3, 2011 Posted April 3, 2011 I don't like online dating. Besides most of those girls are ugly! Your expectations are way too high. If you keep on bombing out, have you ever considered that it may be because of you, not the girls? Ask out more girls, and more of a variety, and then come back and complain.
lino Posted April 3, 2011 Posted April 3, 2011 I read in your other topic that you are 27. Are you going to university full-time? Do you also work and make decent cash? If you are a full-time student and not making much dosh at the age of 27 then I can't say the odds favour you too much in finding a woman. Especially a good looking one. The only guys I've ever known of who at 27 didn't work full time were guys who were also selling drugs, trading stolen cars and/or making money from armed robberies... They pulled heaps of women! Unless you want to get involved in that stuff then you'll probably have to wait until you graduate and get a decent paying job before you get much action.
Author one goal Posted April 3, 2011 Author Posted April 3, 2011 I read in your other topic that you are 27. Are you going to university full-time? Do you also work and make decent cash? If you are a full-time student and not making much dosh at the age of 27 then I can't say the odds favour you too much in finding a woman. Especially a good looking one. The only guys I've ever known of who at 27 didn't work full time were guys who were also selling drugs, trading stolen cars and/or making money from armed robberies... They pulled heaps of women! Unless you want to get involved in that stuff then you'll probably have to wait until you graduate and get a decent paying job before you get much action. Well a lot of women are gold diggers.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 3, 2011 Posted April 3, 2011 Well a lot of women are gold diggers. And a lot of naive guys try to only date the "10s"
zebracolors Posted April 3, 2011 Posted April 3, 2011 OneGoal; Also, you posted to essentially ask for advice on how to meet girls. However you've basically shot down every bit of constructive advice that people have offered. So good luck trying to pull your "trophy" girlfriend.
TouchedByViolet Posted April 3, 2011 Posted April 3, 2011 Girls like good looking guys, guys with a lot of money, or guys with high social status. If you don't have the following you need to lower your standard or work on it.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 3, 2011 Posted April 3, 2011 onegoal, is there something that sets you so apart from the crowd that you believe you can get a ten by simply asking her out?
mr.dream merchant Posted April 3, 2011 Posted April 3, 2011 And a lot of naive guys try to only date the "10s" What's naive about that? The OP wants a beautiful woman on his arm, there is nothing wrong with that. It is what he prefers.
Author one goal Posted April 3, 2011 Author Posted April 3, 2011 What's naive about that? The OP wants a beautiful woman on his arm, there is nothing wrong with that. It is what he prefers. Agree. In my class there is only two hotties. One the teacher and anothr a girl who is engaged so I went for the single teacher. She has students on her facebook so I sent her a request also the other day. She.hasnt accepted it yet. If she adds them she should add me too.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 3, 2011 Posted April 3, 2011 Well a lot of women are gold diggers. So what's wrong with that? Some women like gold. What's naive about that? The OP wants a beautiful woman on his arm, there is nothing wrong with that. It is what he prefers. I thought that we were having a 'make fun of the opposite gender moment' again here on loveshack and I didn't want to be left out. Agree. In my class there is only two hotties. One the teacher and anothr a girl who is engaged so I went for the single teacher. She has students on her facebook so I sent her a request also the other day. She.hasnt accepted it yet. If she adds them she should add me too. one goal, you were already fired from talking about your teacher! Please refocus on healthier vistas for your own sake. PS The book by Daniel Amen
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