SP19 Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 I have been dating this girl for a year now. She is in her late 20s, me, my mid 30s. Things have were going rather well and we are committed to each other. We treat each other very well. After a couple months of dating she started staying over at my place once in a while. She lives about 30 min away and i actually live closer to her work, so it was convienient for her to just stay over instead of go home some nights. i just left it as an open invitation for her to stay if she wanted. Well, what stated as once in a while quickly turned into almost 5-6 times a week. I really didnt notice the change until the last 2 months when it started to be almost every night of the week and i noticed most of her clothes in my closet. A couple weeks ago, she asked if she could move in with me. To be honest, I was not thrilled about it. I told her i'd think about it and we really haven't discussed it since. Since this has happened I have been re-evaluating our relationship critically. I do care for her a lot. We are both totally attracted to each other and have a lot of similarities with regards to our personalities, sense of humor, financial responsibilities, etc, but now I can't seem to help but focus on some of the negative things about her. Our biggest difference is our backgrounds. IM from a quiet conservative family from the suburbs and well, her family is quite the opposite. I quite dislike her family. They are very disfuntional and heavy drinkers from a very small rural town. I do think about us in the future and if we were to ever have kids, id hate to have to expose a child to these people. This leads one of my problems with my gf. Although she is nothing like her family members in the way of drinking or the tradional redneck sense, She does swear a lot which i can tell is due to her upbringing. I know, I know, people swear, i swear, you swear, we all swear but for a girl to swear so much, well, its just a lot, trust me. I can tell she tries to clean it up around me, sometimes, but when she is talking to her family, friends, it can get bad. Everyother word is the F word. She acknowledges that she does it but i think at the end of the day, its not gonna change much. At first it didnt bother me that much but since this move in conversation, Its one of the things ive really focused on. For a 29 year old who has a pretty good professional career, its just starting to sound immature and not very intelligent to me. Im not looking to be a father figure and tell her, "dont say that, its rude". A bit of background on me. I was married before, for 9 years, which ended, rather suddenly due to an unfaithful ex. So i guess i might have some inner fear issues too. I guess what im looking to find out, is it normal to be this paranoid about moving in together? Is a year too early? Am i just looking for excuses by focusing on too much negative stuff or is it im just late on evaluting this relationship and finally realizing that we may not have a future together? Sorry for the long post. looking forward to hear people's opinions.
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