Author SOLACEMENT Posted April 1, 2011 Author Posted April 1, 2011 Are you willing to consider professional help? Yes I am willing, I just don't see how that can help.
carhill Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 I'll ask a question that a psychologist might ask. With regard to relationships and intimacy, what is your most pronounced fear? No need to answer here. Reflecting upon one's fears is one step in the process. Clarifying those fears. Accepting them. It's OK to have fears. Does having fears obviate other paths of thought and action? Onward and onward, step by step. I dealt with some aspects of this issue in MC when dealing with my own co-dependency of trying to 'fix' emotionally distant and commitment-phobic people. There's tons of literature out there to read but IMO a competent psychological professional and a neutral and safe environment are the best place for treatment. This emotional/psychological style didn't grow in a vacuum so be prepared for a lot of often painful work on self. When was the last time you dated someone or had a long-term relationship or marriage? Can you commit to being alone in the romantic sense for a year? Alone time is critical IMO for self-reflection and to, as necessary, alter old styles, behaviors and habits. The first step is recognition. You've done that. What's next?
missmac Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 is it something you personally want to overcome? or something that you feel you should overcome? (pressure from family, friends, society - feeling like it's the "normal") thing to do. when you meet the right person - things will fall in to place. What seems like a commitment will feel more like a team-mate, you wont feel like you have to make sacrifices that you aren't willing to give up.
Mr.Cairo Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 Is it something you can get over? Why do you want to get over self-preservation?
SummersEve Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 Why do you want to get over self-preservation? LOL! I was wondering something along those lines but ahem... perhaps a bit on the lighter side of it: Why is not wanting to be commited so often called a "phobia?" Is it possible that you just don't want to be commited? I mean, why do we not talk about freedom-phobia?
mr.dream merchant Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 is it something you personally want to overcome? or something that you feel you should overcome? (pressure from family, friends, society - feeling like it's the "normal") thing to do. when you meet the right person - things will fall in to place. What seems like a commitment will feel more like a team-mate, you wont feel like you have to make sacrifices that you aren't willing to give up. Dude MissMac, if that's you in your avatar you've got it going on! Yaaaaaaow!
Mr.Cairo Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 LOL! I was wondering something along those lines but ahem... perhaps a bit on the lighter side of it: Why is not wanting to be commited so often called a "phobia?" Is it possible that you just don't want to be commited? I mean, why do we not talk about freedom-phobia? For the same reason banks abhor old people, those who keep their money stashed under the bed: how can they profit?
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