Stilicho Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 so, basically, a few months back, i went through a really bad break up with my than long term gf. during the ensuing months, i did what most people do in order to bounce back, working out, going out, focusing on me, etc. i also casually dated a few girls, but never pursued anything too much, as i guess i wasnt really feeling it than. but, recently, a girl who works near my college slipped me her number on a receipt she gave me, i called, set up a date, and it went great, she even initiated the kiss at the end of the night. through out this past week, shes texted me, called me the other night(spoke for like and hour and a half), we even had a second, successful date this past wednesday. however, in that date, she said she wanted me to come watch her play her vball match, i agreed, in an attempt to be cordial. than, yesterday, she texts me saying i dont have to come, etc, i say i dont mind, etc. so today, she texted me the same thing about coming tonight, and i basically call her out and say if she doesnt want me too come, just say so she than says yes, but says the same stuff about it being far, doesnt want to bore me, so i basically repeat what i said, and she admits one of her friends is having a bday party and she has to go, i tell her thats fine, but she shouldve just said that in the first place, lol. she than insists that she still wants to hangout sunday. now, i know this is only our first week of dating, so i shouldnt expect too much. but, being that im pretty fresh into dating again, do you think that she flaked, its a sign she isnt interested? how should i play this? lol like i feel almost lost, i dont know how to read if its going well so far, or to gauge interest. i really like this girl, but dating again seems to be harder than i thought it would be to get used to, lol any input guys? do u think bc she flaked shes losing interest? how do i know its going well?
Survivor12 Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Okay, it is a little rude of her to "take back" her invitation (which is why she tried to talk you into changing your mind rather than telling you that she'd made other plans), but it doesn't necessarily mean that she has changed her mind about you. Also, since it is a friend's birthday party, she doesn't have the option of changing the date of the party, and to be quite honest (sorry, ladies!) girls can be quite ugly about their friends choosing a man over them so I can understand and believe her when she said that she "has to go." After all, you've got a "real" date on Sunday, right? So, instead of worrying about her canceling plans with you (that you accepted just "to be cordial" anyway), look forward to your date. As far as how you "play this", simply tell her to have fun & that you'll see her on Sunday.
johan Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 The early days of dating someone are kind of rough. You look hard for signals. But any signal that isn't about her being totally into you and excited about you is hard to interpret, because you just don't know her that well. It's important to just do your thing, make sure you don't lose focus on what is important to you, and let her zip around like a little fairy if that's what she wants to do. If it makes you feel worse to be involved with her than you felt before you met her, then you're probably over-invested. There isn't anything about dating, at least when you care.
Author Stilicho Posted April 2, 2011 Author Posted April 2, 2011 thanks survivor, thtas pretty much exactly what i did, i just said have fun, and that ill see her sunday. i mean, its only the first week, i dont wanna come off as clingy anyway. its just confusing, dating again, lol. i just have to remind myself, its no big deal, and shes the one who has done all the initiating anyway, from giving me her number, to making out, etc, which is kinda funny, bc each time she did something, i was right about to do it myself. idk, what are some signs i should look for that shows its going good though?
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