maysj18 Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Hi, I'm new here and thought I'd share my experience with long distance relationships. I met Jon about 3 years ago in Jacksonville. My dad lived there for years so I would always go down to visit during school breaks. In fact, I'd spend almost my entire summer down there. I obviously made some friends over the years and one summer a friend of mine introduced me to Jon. We immediately hit it off. He was adorable, charming, and so smart. He invited everyone back over to his place a couple days later just so he would have a reason to see me again. After that night and all the ridiculous amounts of flirting, he finally asked me out. We watched a movie and cuddled and by that time I knew he was special. The remainder of time in Jacksonville that summer was spent with him. All day, every day we would hang out. He never tried anything- I mean, we could be in bed all day and just cuddle. So sweet. He had never been with anyone physically before, because he's the type who wanted to wait, and i loved that about him. I could go on and on about our first summer together, but it was perfect. We kept in touch, of course. I went back for Thanksgiving, mostly just to see him, and he took me on a date to the beach. He lit candles, picked up some chinese, and we huddled under a blanket afterwards because it was so cold. We ended up fooling around a bit, which was amazing. There was so much sexual tension between us I guess we just couldn't hold it in anymore. Lol, it was so worth it though. It was that night he wanted to make it official, regardless of the distance. We dated for about 6 months, but unfortunately while I cared deeply for him, I was heartbroken a lot over the distance. I met someone at work and we kissed and when I told Jon, he was devastated. One vice against me is that I'm kind of flighty when it comes to relationships. Jon is the only guy I had ever been with, period, and while it drew me to him the distance pulled me away. We patched things up that summer when I went down there, but broke up again whenever I came home because of some other mishap. It took a long time before I was able to get him to talk to me. I missed him so much and I know that some of the biggest mistakes I ever made was hurting him. It's SO hard though to be so close with someone who you get to see 3 times out of the year. I started college after that summer, and during Christmas break we tried to rekindle things. It worked, and we stayed together until just this last Christmas. We were both scared for the future. He is going off to medical school and I'm still in undergrad. I can't transfer and he didn't get accepted into the schools around me. He wants to take a year off to figure out what he really wants to do, so obviously our paths just aren't even close to eachother right now. We talked about him moving up here and getting an apartment with me so we could just SEE what would happen, but that scares me so bad. I know that is the only way for us to work right now, but I feel like that's skipping about two huge steps. We've never been together in person for long periods of time (a month, tops), so I don't know what it's like to fight with him, live with him, annoy him, etc. I have a friend who is the same situation and she is moving in with her boyfriend next year and she calls it "taking a leap of faith". While I think she's being naive, I wish I had the balls to do that. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I don't know what to do.
creighton0123 Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Don't do what other people tell you to do. Do what you want to do. Steps are for recovery programs. Your relationship is not a template. It is not the relationship your girlfriend has with her boyfriend. I'd so risk it. Don't relationships involve risk? You might not work out. It'll suck if you don't. But then again, you might very well work out. If you don't try, you'll never know.
liveforthelaunch Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 There's no doubt that it's a tough situation, and I'm in somewhat of the same boat because my boyfriend is in England while I'm stuck in Canada, and we both can't really move because we're both in university and don't have the money to study abroad (traveling to England five times in a year is NOT cheap either). Distance IS heartbreaking, and it's extremely hard to cope with because it can cause tension, jealousy, paranoia, and just feelings of loneliness and helplessness because you can't do anything to be with them. I can see why he would have been heartbroken over you kissing someone else, and I'm glad you tried to rekindle things and it really seems that, if you guys haven't forgotten about each other after all this time, it could be the real thing. I honestly think you should try the apartment thing, because if you don't, you'll always wonder what may have come of it. If you do, and it works, it'll be great, and if it doesn't, you can't say you didn't try!
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