this_is_mpr Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Recently my girlfriend has become increasingly stressed due to her job. It causes her to be grouchy, sad and tired. I fear this will hurt our relationship, and I'm unsure how to help. I have a stressful job too, but I'm better at leaving the stress at the office. I don't discuss what bothers me about the office at home because while I'm at home, I'd rather relax and not think about it. Should I encourage her to do the same? The risk is that I'll seem like I don't want to hear about her day, which isn't the case. I just think it would be easier for her if she didn't relive the negative parts of her day. Should I try to help her in different ways, like preparing meals, doing dishes and cleaning up? We split chores about 50/50 as it is... and I hate doing dishes. Should I give her a sensual massage? Any advice or ideas are greatly appreciated!
SingVoice Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 What a GREAT idea to try to alleviate some of her stress at home by taking care of some extra chores. (Seriously...that's really amazing.) The thing about women is that we like to TALK about our problems. So DON'T encourage her to ignore them because that's how MEN deal. Just be there to LISTEN to her. That's all she really wants. ALSO don't try to "solve" her problems. Seriously...just listen to her...hold her...run your fingers through her hair...just show her you are THERE for her.
MistaDynamic Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 SingVoice and thrownaway offer good advice but the thing is that something you want to do? I know I wouldn't. Talking about something negative only adds fuel to fire by relieving the experience. Be the man, be the leader teach her how to overcome stress not give in to it and if she dosn't appreciate the help you need to ask yourself is this the type of women you want in your life. Life is stressful and this is how she handles stress. Do you want live life with this type of person. I know I wouldn't. I don't want any weak women in my life.
Untouchable_Fire Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Recently my girlfriend has become increasingly stressed due to her job. It causes her to be grouchy, sad and tired. I fear this will hurt our relationship, and I'm unsure how to help. I have a stressful job too, but I'm better at leaving the stress at the office. I don't discuss what bothers me about the office at home because while I'm at home, I'd rather relax and not think about it. Should I encourage her to do the same? The risk is that I'll seem like I don't want to hear about her day, which isn't the case. I just think it would be easier for her if she didn't relive the negative parts of her day. It's best to listen and let her vent for about an hour. If she wants to drag it out all night and wants to take it out on you... PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN. Some women will try to turn you into her personal whipping boy. If she is doing that... then put a stop to ASAP. However, you should let her talk over her day... don't try to solve her problems... just listen. Should I try to help her in different ways, like preparing meals, doing dishes and cleaning up? We split chores about 50/50 as it is... and I hate doing dishes. Not on a regular basis. If you start to do more of the work she will just begin to expect that from you and won't appreciate it at all. Instead if you really must do something like this... do it twice a month as a surprise. Should I give her a sensual massage?! Yes, but make sure you put some effort into it. Get a book and learn some techniques... soothing music and some candles.
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