welikeincrowds Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 I don't want to pursue a relationship with her, I'm going to exercise my rights as a single and young man. That's exactly the problem people take with your posts: your entitlement. Other people are not your right. One of those things I don't believe in is making a girl feel special, cared for, appreciated when in reality - she's not. When women are disposable things to you, you should hopefully have no mysteries as to why they treat you a certain way.
mr.dream merchant Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 That's exactly the problem people take with your posts: your entitlement. Other people are not your right. When women are disposable things to you, you should hopefully have no mysteries as to why they treat you a certain way. I'm not really going to get into this again, but there's a major lack of reading comprehension on this board. So let me do my best to help you understand. Exercising my rights as a single young man means doing whatever the **** I want when I want and how I want. That's not being selfish. Nor is that claiming people are my right. And having casual fun with women isn't treating them like they're disposable, it's called being single. The only way that disposable idea comes into play is if the woman I'm having casual fun with, wants more than casual fun with me, which at that point is her own fault because I've already discussed the parameters of our casual relationship ie. I'm not looking for anything serious. And the only way people treat me is like a stand up guy, because that's what I am. Is it my problem that people can't handle the truth? Is it my problem that these women want more than I do? The answer to both of those questions is no.
Cee Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Hey Green Policy, Did she respond to the text? I might have missed you saying that because there's a pissing contest in the middle of your thread. j/c
SweetDaphne Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 I have a problem with conforming to things I don't believe in. One of those things I don't believe in is making a girl feel special, cared for, appreciated when in reality - she's not. Seriously? Thank you for a little insight into your thoughts. As to keeping it 'civil', I am. You simply asked what your stance meant or implied, and I stated what it implied and would mean to any woman whom you projected your stance on. Thus an indication as to why you're single. I'm not being derogatory, mainly observant.
SweetDaphne Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Hey Green Policy, Did she respond to the text? I might have missed you saying that because there's a pissing contest in the middle of your thread. j/c Sorry. GP - I agree with Cee, any response?
Ometeotl Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 I'm not really going to get into this again, but there's a major lack of reading comprehension on this board. So let me do my best to help you understand. Exercising my rights as a single young man means doing whatever the **** I want when I want and how I want. That's not being selfish. Nor is that claiming people are my right. And having casual fun with women isn't treating them like they're disposable, it's called being single. The only way that disposable idea comes into play is if the woman I'm having casual fun with, wants more than casual fun with me, which at that point is her own fault because I've already discussed the parameters of our casual relationship ie. I'm not looking for anything serious. And the only way people treat me is like a stand up guy, because that's what I am. Is it my problem that people can't handle the truth? Is it my problem that these women want more than I do? The answer to both of those questions is no. Why are you even explaining yourself? Do you really CARE what these people think. Perhaps you should have labeled the parameters of all your post in a signature that says. "I am honestly all about me, if you cant handle it... thats your problem not me" Doesnt bother me, everybody loves a guy says it how it is. I think I am starting to grow feelings for you.... ^ and scene
Author GreenPolicy Posted April 1, 2011 Author Posted April 1, 2011 Hey Green Policy, Did she respond to the text? I might have missed you saying that because there's a pissing contest in the middle of your thread. j/c Yeah, she replied back 10 minutes later saying she had a great time as well, said thanks for cooking her dinner, and she hoped I got some sleep, since she is off work today and I had to be up early. I texted her back and said to do something to the effect of do something cool outside for me since it's 65 degrees, sunny and gorgeous out while I'm stuck in an office tower. She then replied back and said "Oh, I'm already out at the pool, so I'll stay out a little while extra for you. ;)" I didn't reply back to that, I think I'll wait until tomorrow to call her to work out details for Sunday.
SingVoice Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 I am SO glad you texted her. While you might not be exclusive or whatever...it's still showing her that you aren't just gonna "stick her and kick her." If it had been me and I had sex with a guy and I didn't hear from him the next day...I would be pissed and assume he had just used me.
SweetDaphne Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Yeah, she replied back 10 minutes later saying she had a great time as well, said thanks for cooking her dinner, and she hoped I got some sleep, since she is off work today and I had to be up early. I texted her back and said to do something to the effect of do something cool outside for me since it's 65 degrees, sunny and gorgeous out while I'm stuck in an office tower. She then replied back and said "Oh, I'm already out at the pool, so I'll stay out a little while extra for you. ;)" I didn't reply back to that, I think I'll wait until tomorrow to call her to work out details for Sunday. Nice going Green Policy!!!!
welikeincrowds Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Exercising my rights as a single young man means doing whatever the **** I want when I want and how I want. That's not being selfish. I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm just repeating back what you are saying. Use whatever words you'd like to describe it: And having casual fun with women isn't treating them like they're disposable, it's called being single but outright denial is not honesty, despite what you may claim. You wrote that you don't feel that these women are special, appreciated, cared for. The antonyms to these words are "common", "unappreciated," "disposable". And the only way people treat me is like a stand up guy, because that's what I am. Is it my problem that people can't handle the truth? Is it my problem that these women want more than I do? These are questions, meanwhile, I never asked, and don't have. They also don't make any sense to me. Being a single man is not a right and it doesn't come with rights. Being able to have casual sex is not a right. These are privileges. I suppose you don't have to appreciate the privilege, but not doing so -- instead, expecting them, as a given -- is called entitlement. It is not a respected trait, so again -- you should have no questions about why many women seem respond to you in a certain way (going by your threads).
Crow9726 Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Well I'm certainly neither of the labels you've listed Daphne. If I'm not romantically involved with a girl ie. I don't want to pursue a relationship with her, I'm going to exercise my rights as a single and young man. I have a problem with conforming to things I don't believe in. One of those things I don't believe in is making a girl feel special, cared for, appreciated when in reality - she's not. If she's not catching my romantic eye, but instead, my casual fun eye that's all she'll ever be to me is casual fun. Does this mean I treat her poorly? Nope. I'm just not going to give in to what she wants because she didn't quite understand what I meant when it was explained to her that I'm only in it for casual fun. You seem to have gotten the idea that a woman would be treated this way if in a relationship with me, and that certainly isn't the case. Hopefully this clears up some of the ideas you've seem to have misconstrued. I'm fully aware of what women like and want. When and who I choose to do that for is well within my rights. And yes, I am all about myself. I'm single afterall. Let's try to keep it civil shall we? Thanks cupcake. As far as contacting a woman the day after having sex with her...it is definitely the right thing to do. It's actually called having "class"...which may be a foreign concept to you. Just because you prefer to play with women who appear to have none doesn't mean you must stoop to that level...unless that's where you already reside.
Author GreenPolicy Posted April 2, 2011 Author Posted April 2, 2011 lol SEX speaks volumes. But, you should time it perfectly. I am not sure about when that is, because she has all these plans... Even from a woman's perspective, I am a little thrown off due to the plans with others. are these work plans, girls hanging out, or other guys? At least consider the possibility? Best wishes! Birthday party last night, plans with her girlfriends tonight...or so she says. After my ex-fiancee blindsided me by dumping me, I find it hard sometimes to accept what other people say at face value.
zengirl Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 Birthday party last night, plans with her girlfriends tonight...or so she says. After my ex-fiancee blindsided me by dumping me, I find it hard sometimes to accept what other people say at face value. If she just had sex with you, she probably likes you (odds are), so I'd chill. Blindside dumpings usually don't come so early, at the very least. I think your texts were cute/hers seemed interested. You'll get together again soon. Just enjoy this!
Lilmisus Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 That's great OP that it turned out well, I'm happy for you! A long time ago a girl came over to my house on the rag. She didn't want to do anal, she didn't want to do oral, so she gave me a handjob. Mind you this is a girl I'm talking to, nothing serious. The next day, early in the morning, she sent me a text saying hi. I never replied. Waited the entire day, and texted her the day after. She was furious lmfao! Yeah, she stopped kicking it with me. Women take major offense to that ****. It's like sexual activity with them is some kind of binding contract where you as the guy are obligated to talk to them, spend time with them, and other things the day after you just had some fun with her. My advice is do what you want bro. If you don't feel like texting her at all, don't. You're not obligated to this chick. Go out with your boys, meet some more women. I know that y'all were talking about this yesterday, but I just wanted to throw in that you remind me of a few guys I know, one being my ex, and how he used to be a couple of years ago. He would basically do as you do, just have sex with a girl, maybe keep it going for a couple days or a couple of weeks for NSA fun, but then after that, not give a s*** about her, and refused to make her think otherwise. Most of them got mad at him if he just ended contact with them or if they saw him at a party the next weekend with another girl on his arm. He said it was her issue not his that she was a whore and willing to sleep with him on the first date or within the week, and he had no respect for that and wouldn't bother contacting her because she wasn't worth it to him, and wasn't going to pretend otherwise, since pretending also wasn't worth it to him. Well, he and you have a perfect right to treat women however you want, especially if in the end you just don't care about them, I would say be careful. Though you don't care about these girls that you aren't calling back and aren't treating like they mean something to you (since they don't) it can really bite you in the butt in the future. I know that when I found out how he treated girls years ago, it really changed the way I saw and felt towards him, especially since he didn't see any problem with it, still. It would suck if a good girl who you really want a future with and who you are willing to go the extra mile for, will lose respect for you because of your lack of respect for these girls that you're just looking for fun with right now. I didn't lose complete respect for him, but it did make me extremely more cautious around him, and a lot of people who knew about it, didn't want anything to do with him, after finding out, and told me I was stupid for staying with him. Saying he didn't have respect for those girls, how could I know that he really had respect for me? And if you don't get what I'm saying and don't agree with it, try turning the tables around. What if you were dating a girl in the future who you were really into and found out she did guys like you do girls? How would you feel? And don't just say you wouldn't care, cause more than likely you'd just classify her as a whore for doing that, and lose respect for her..just like she'd probably do to you. I'm not trying to change your game or tell you what you do is wrong, especially since I don't think it's really wrong. I'm just trying to caution you to watch what steps you take. I'd hate to see a post from you in the future saying "I met somebody I really liked..but she didn't like my past...her loss!" Ya know?
Author GreenPolicy Posted April 2, 2011 Author Posted April 2, 2011 If she just had sex with you, she probably likes you (odds are), so I'd chill. Blindside dumpings usually don't come so early, at the very least. I think your texts were cute/hers seemed interested. You'll get together again soon. Just enjoy this! Yeah we're getting together again tomorrow. I just don't want to get my hopes up. But one thing I learned from my last relationship is that you can't control what other people do and you can't go through life worrying about bad things that might happen. You won't be able to fully enjoy today if you're worried that it's going to rain tomorrow.
Thedude22 Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 If it were me I'd wait, but I'm extremely defensive about the whole clingy stigma so I only text unless I really have to.
Author GreenPolicy Posted April 7, 2011 Author Posted April 7, 2011 Okay so an update: We went out again Sunday for another date, had sex. We were supposed to get together tonight and watch a movie at her place. I try to limit communication between dates to just asking her out/arranging times to meet. So anyways, last night I texted her about when to come over and it took her an hour to respond. This morning she texts me and says "I'm so sorry to do this, but I have to postpone our movie night. An emergency has come up and I have to leave work now. I feel really horrible cancelling at the last minute." I texted back "I understand. Hope everything is okay." I figure if this is actually the case, and she likes me, then there is no need for me to do anything. In her shoes if that happened to me, once everything settled down, I would contact the other party to reschedule. But if she is just blowing me off, then she won't be contacting me at all and there's no need for me to contact her? I was thinking if I hadn't heard from her by the middle of next week, then I'd contact her to see how she was doing and ask her out again. Or if several days go by and I haven't heard from her, then I can go ahead and assume this was a BS excuse to get out of seeing me again?
Author GreenPolicy Posted April 7, 2011 Author Posted April 7, 2011 It's always suspicious when somebody has an emergency the day of a date. I figure if her reason is bullsh*t and she's using this to get out of a date, then she won't be contacting me to reschedule...and me contacting her is just going to continue this cat and mouse game until I get the hint, or she just comes out and says she doesn't want to see me anymore. But if something did happen that she has to attend to, then she'll be contacting me to reschedule, since she likes me and circumstances beyond her control intervened to postpone our date tonight. In either event, I should do nothing, continue on with my life and let her contact me.
Crazy Magnet Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 How about ask her if there's anything you can do to help her out with the emergency? That is what I would most appreciate if something like this happened to me.
NXS Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I think you should phone her and see if everything is alright.
Author GreenPolicy Posted April 7, 2011 Author Posted April 7, 2011 I think you should phone her and see if everything is alright. I think I should give her space for right now if she is indeed dealing with something heavy. It's either BS to get out of a date or it's real. I know she's running a 1/2 marathon this Sunday, so I'm thinking I should call her up Monday or Tuesday and ask how the marathon went, and tell her I hope everything is going okay and if there is anything I can do to let me know.
Crazy Magnet Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I think I should give her space for right now if she is indeed dealing with something heavy. It's either BS to get out of a date or it's real. I know she's running a 1/2 marathon this Sunday, so I'm thinking I should call her up Monday or Tuesday and ask how the marathon went, and tell her I hope everything is going okay and if there is anything I can do to let me know. Honestly, if I was to the point of sleeping with a guy and he didn't bother to ask if I needed help during a self-proclaimed emergency, I would lost respect for him. She may say she doesn't need your help right now, but it's the thought that counts. I still don't understand the limited contact between dates if you are sleeping with her. I mean, you've stuck your dingdong in her hooha, that sort of warrants a certain level of intimacy, caring, and understanding.
Author GreenPolicy Posted April 7, 2011 Author Posted April 7, 2011 Talked to one of my friends at work and he says that I need to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she is telling the truth...don't assume you're being blown off and kicked to the curb until she pulls something like this three times in a row. So tomorrow I will text her and just say "Hey, I hope everything is okay and if you need anything or if there's anything I can do, just let me know." He said at a certain point you have to stop worrying about how something looks or how it plays and just be a concerned fellow human being. If she's blowing me off, that will quickly be apparent.
Author GreenPolicy Posted April 7, 2011 Author Posted April 7, 2011 Honestly, if I was to the point of sleeping with a guy and he didn't bother to ask if I needed help during a self-proclaimed emergency, I would lost respect for him. She may say she doesn't need your help right now, but it's the thought that counts. I still don't understand the limited contact between dates if you are sleeping with her. I mean, you've stuck your dingdong in her hooha, that sort of warrants a certain level of intimacy, caring, and understanding. Okay, Sunday we went out, took her to a botanical gardens, then we went to dinner, she insisted on paying, we went back to my place, had some dessert, then we had sex, even though she had to run 10 miles that night on a treadmill to prep for her 1/2 Marathon next Sunday. I suggested getting together tonight for a movie and she agreed, said she had a work function either today or a week from today and she would check the schedule to see for sure. So she texts me the next day and said she had a doctor's appointment and didn't go into work and would let me know Tuesday. Tuesday comes and I didn't hear from her all day, so I texted her that night after I got off work and asked her if she had gotten the scoop, she said she was indeed free for tonight, we friendly texted back and forth a bit. Last night I texted her to see about what time to come over, she texted back after an hour to say 7 pm was good, then today her emergency text. So after she sent me the text today, I replied back after 15 minutes and said "I understand. Hope everything is okay." That was four hours ago. I think you are right and I have nothing to lose by showing a bit more concern. So when I get off work tonight, I'm going to text her and say "Hey, I just wanted to say I'm thinking about you and I hope everything turns out okay. If there's anything I can do or you need anything, just let me know."
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