tearsofaclown Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Well i have been in and read this forum every other day since i split with my ex. i have been in no contact for just over 3mths now. Having tried it before and messing up by him getting in touch and getting intimate. But yes its been over three months and i have deleted him out of my life and off everything. i hope it gets better i am not crying everyday now and found i do have lots to smile about. i have got back out and started seen everyone again. but it still hurts so much at times. the story is short and sweet we were together a year i found out he had been having sex with his ex. i had come out of a hard relationship before him and it took a long time to introduce him to my children. i never planed on falling for him it just happened. he tried telling me what happened with his ex was a mistake and he loved me but i found out he was still having sex with her. it destroyed me to the very core. i dont think i ever have been so low the pain i felt was just the worst. i told him to get out of my life as nothing he says is trusted. in short he is now back on with his ex they had been split two years before me, this is the 6th attempt of them getting it on again. in a way it feels like rubing salt in the wounds that they are back. but in another i just think it proves he was never worth it. his ex treated him like dirt so i guess he likes it. but then it makes me think maybe he treated her so bad to and she has just got into a patten with him. i thought he was the one and thats what i find hard, i got it so wrong. i will not get in touch with him as for one i am stubborn and i have some pride left . so no contact will be forever as i can't see him getting in touch he just is not man enough, nor can i see us ever being together again as no matter what my heart says i have to listen to my head. so three months on do i miss him yes i miss the person i thought he was. would i like him to get in touch yes sure but life is not like a romantic film where the guy makes it all better and you kiss and make up.i am back dating again now and while its hard its alot of fun. i do think i fell in love with my ex but as each day passes i love him a bit less. i know i will be ok and he does not take over my every thought now. he jumped back to his ex the moment i kicked his ass away so there you have it. three months and i am standing tall. i do have moments where i would love to open my door and him to just kiss me, but its just a crazy moment of madness. i am getting on with life now and moving on and with each passing day he no longer owns a bit of me i get it back. so i guess i just keep moving forward
Author tearsofaclown Posted April 16, 2011 Author Posted April 16, 2011 4mths no contact and still staying strong. i am getting better by the day and stronger. i am finding me and what i like and want, i still have off days and part of me wants him to get in touch. but after 4mths i know this is not going to happen.i would never bail out of nc and after 4mths he is not going to get in touch. so this is life now and he is not my every thought now. i have been thinking about the relationship that i had with him, and thinking about it now it was not as great as it seemed. i guess thats what happens when you take off the rose tinted specks. yet i find him in my thoughts still i wonder why that is? when the fact that he has not got in touch shows i am not in his thoughts at all
K.K. Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 I'm glad you're feeling better. That's whats happening to me too. I'm reminded now of all the horrible memories instead of the good ones. It was a truly bad relationship. I'm glad it's over. It was just how cruelly it ended and all the things I put up with out of him that still haunts me and keeps me angry. Do you feel angry? Sometimes I wonder if the anger is the worst part or the best thing that coulda happened.
Author tearsofaclown Posted April 16, 2011 Author Posted April 16, 2011 thanks for the reply. i do get angry from time to time. a lot to start with not as much now. in fact part of me even has days now where i don't` give a hoot so i know i am almost over him now. as long as he does not creep into my life before i am fully healed. i cant see him getting in touch and i cant see that happening nc has helped me so much i never thought i could do it but i have. just hang on in with it stay strong. day at a time. i have weak days where i just want to be next to him, but i remind myself why i am not
K.K. Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 I can't wait till I get to the I don't give a hoot stage. Your post gave me hope. Thank you. And good job on the no contact and your healing!
Flowerzzz Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 It is so strange..I signed on to talk about my 3 months of No Contact and I saw your post! I am with you--it is getting better and better to forget him. Most days I feel awesome! I have new goals and new things i want to achieve! New, cute guys and the idea of new love excites me! But then I have hours like this one, where I feel nostalgic and sad about what I had with my ex. During the sad hours, I look at old pictures of us together and read my old journal entries about our life together. The 3 years with him is beginning to be a fuzzy picture in my mind! It is so weird! I guess I am just lonely. I miss being with my best friend and sharing everything with him. I picture him with his new girl going away and having fun on the weekends... while I am alone and it does hurt and make me sad. But those sad hours are few and far between now. I can say that! I have grown SO FRICKIN' much during these 3 months! It makes me proud! So let us continue to be awesome, work on ourselves, and achieve our new goals...without them.
Am4Real Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Sounds like his EX has a grab on him emotionally which he cannot shake; it will probably curse him for much time to come. Although the pain of it all must hurt, rest easy in that you are rid of him for four months now.
Author tearsofaclown Posted April 17, 2011 Author Posted April 17, 2011 i will not lie when it all first happened i honestly thought i would die from how much emotional pain i was in. i could not eat . sleep it made me ill, it in short destroyed me. i did love him more than i have ever loved anyone and i gave more of myself to him than anyone before. i am so glad i never fully opened up to him now lol. i used to read everyone's post about how in time it would get better but i could never see the better part not when i felt like my world had ended. but in time it happens just as you are not expecting it. you wake up and go a whole day and nothing not a thought of him entered my head. i trusted him but my gut told me he was doing me wrong. he did toy with my emotions to start with i think now he was looking for ego patting. so it must have hurt like hell when i just slamed the door into my life on him pml. i thought we understood each other on every level and got each other in a way i never felt before. but in time that is changing the more time away the stronger i feel and the more rational i look at the situation. i see now i don't need his forgiveness for anything, i never did the cheating and i never went out of my way to continue to hurt him. i will not get in touch with him i know this as the way i see things now he has made his choice. at first i though it must be love between the two of them if they end up back together all the time. but now i see it rational that its a shame because none has the balls to say it does not work and walk away. its like they are fall back guy and girl to each other. so yer 4mths and still fighting .stay strong if they want you they will bang down your door to get you.
Author tearsofaclown Posted April 20, 2011 Author Posted April 20, 2011 ok update for you guys.... i had my best friend call me today saying my ex was asking after me how i was and my family. then he asked if i was happy?? asking how did i seem and was i ok? she said i was great and very happy and had been busy with life and was doing just fine. she was saying how well i am and just let him know politely that my life has gone on without him lol. i was shocked that he had been in touch but i don't understand why now after 4mths of nothing. but then again its straws clutching as he has been asking indirectly about me, so i cannot let this put me back. so no contact i shall remain and stay strong i thought i would be upset but i am ok. just thought i would share with you all. what do you guys think ? and for the record he has not spoke with my friend in about 6 mths lol contact was out of the blue ?
Am4Real Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 ok update for you guys.... i had my best friend call me today saying my ex was asking after me how i was and my family. then he asked if i was happy?? asking how did i seem and was i ok? she said i was great and very happy and had been busy with life and was doing just fine. she was saying how well i am and just let him know politely that my life has gone on without him lol. i was shocked that he had been in touch but i don't understand why now after 4mths of nothing. but then again its straws clutching as he has been asking indirectly about me, so i cannot let this put me back. so no contact i shall remain and stay strong i thought i would be upset but i am ok. just thought i would share with you all. what do you guys think ? and for the record he has not spoke with my friend in about 6 mths lol contact was out of the blue ? Probably genuinely curious about how your doing -- really doesn't mean anything -- don't think too much of it. I've asked about an EX before in the past when meeting a common acquaintance between us and it was only in making conversation and nothing more.
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