RedIvy Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Alright so, I met this guy and we seem to hit it off. We're "seeing each other". When I'm with him, he's affectionate and he's attentive. When not together, he'll call me or text me often. But, there's something that gets under my skin and it's actually making me second guess this guy. He loves women. I get that he's a heterosexual man, but he seems to take it over board. He will tell me he really likes/prefers blondes (I'm a redhead by the way...) and will list things off that he finds to be "so hot"..sexual stuff. He'll mention how hot some celebs are...but he does all this often and it's making me worried and almost, not good enough? I keep having this re-occurring feeling that if he was to meet a blonde bombshell who gave him the notion that she wanted him, he would jump at that chance.... but at the same time, he's deep and tells me he wants to settle down, knows what he wants, loves to hang out with me, gets excited to see me...and when were together, it feels nice. I'm so confused. OH, just an FYI..because this is so soon, I refuse to sleep with him..he knows this. He hasn't even tried to. We've kissed and cuddled, that's it. Am I in for trouble??
MistaDynamic Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Sounds like he's a horny guy and isn't ashamed of it. Nothing wrong with that. Since he has stated he has preference for blondes you notion he might leave you for something better probably is dead on.
D-Lish Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 (edited) I keep having this re-occurring feeling that if he was to meet a blonde bombshell who gave him the notion that she wanted him, he would jump at that chance.... And it sounds like that is the feeling he is actively seeking to evoke in you! Why else would someone make such references to someone they claim to really want to be with- besides to manipulate them and make them feel insecure? I don't know about you, but I'd never say such things to my partner- because I'd NEVER want someone I really like to feel bad, inferior, or insecure about how I feel about them. I suspect he's the type of guy, if you confronted his ramblings, he'd tell you that YOU are the crazy one and need to relax.... How transparent of him... His comments are specifically designed to make you feel like sh%t so he feels less insecure and therefore more in control over you and your relationship! Sorry, but this one isn't a good catch. Trust your instincts and run. Edited April 1, 2011 by D-Lish
Sabali Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 And it sounds like that is the feeling he is actively seeking to evoke in you! Why else would someone make such references to someone they claim to really want to be with- besides to manipulate them and make them feel insecure? I don't know about you, but I'd never say such things to my partner- because I'd NEVER want someone I really like to feel bad, inferior, or insecure about how I feel about them. I suspect he's the type of guy, if you confronted his ramblings, he'd tell you that YOU are the crazy one and need to relax.... How transparent of him... His comments are specifically designed to make you feel like sh%t so he feels less insecure and therefore more in control over you and your relationship! Sorry, but this one isn't a good catch. Trust your instincts and run. Man, this reply is so super spot on that we can just close this thread and all go home and eat one of the last boxes of Captain Crunch that will ever be made.
tetrapod Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Man, this reply is so super spot on that we can just close this thread and all go home and eat one of the last boxes of Captain Crunch that will ever be made. LOL pretty much! DTMFA.
Feelin Frisky Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 I don't think he's working a game, he's just inconsiderate. That's not to say being inconsiderate is OK. It's apparently who he is. And if he doesn't sense how disquieting saying stuff like that can be he's got to be very self-centered and a tad shallow. You could however also think of it this way, he's treating you like a "friend" and sharing his enthusiasm of things including other women as if he trusts you implicitly to take it as just that. The only thing to do is to have the talk and ASK him why he thinks it's OK to just pipe up his impulses like that to you. To me it just sounds immature and something that could be worked on. But others could be right too in their assertions.
Sabali Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 LOL pretty much! DTMFA. I wasn't familiar with the acronym "DTMFA" so I googled it. Here is what I found: Stands for 'Dump The Mother****er Already'. From Dan Savage's 'Savage Love' column. It's advice given to someone complaining about a significant other's repellent behaviour. Often given, seldom taken. Concise, if not tactful, it's often a shock to the complainant, who might not be able to look at the situation objectivelly and see how bad it's gotten. Should be used either when a person keeps repeating the same complaints over and over again and seems unhappy in the relationship and unwilling to do anything about it, or when anyone can see at a glance that it's a toxic, if not abusive, relationship. (a) Lindsey: "Aargh, I'm so frustrated with Jon, he never calls when he says he will and keeps telling me about what other girls are hot! What should I do???" Rachel: "Well, considering you've been doing nothing but tell me about how much you hate Jon for the past three months, you should either tell him this, or DTMFA. We're all sick of hearing it!
Gala Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Agree with D-Lish, agree with DTMFA. This guy is sending you mixed messages, and doing what he can to stoke your insecurity and jealousy. For the record, I've known plenty of guys who were driven quite mad by the mere thought of a redhead. He should consider himself lucky. Although really, it strikes me as more of a "you can never be this so I'm gonna talk about it" tactic.
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