OhioLaw1987 Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 If/when she comes back, after all she has done (see all my other posts), do I tell her what I really think, ignore her, or take the polite route and say "leave me be, and I wish you well." Thoughts?
JasonRules Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 If/when she comes back, after all she has done (see all my other posts), do I tell her what I really think, ignore her, or take the polite route and say "leave me be, and I wish you well." Thoughts? Excuse my frankness, but if you take her back after all she's done to you then you deserve to be treated like garbage. Personally, I wouldn't even take her call. She needs a therapist, not a boyfriend. Aside from that, all the sleeping around she's currently doing is utterly disgusting.
lapse Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 (edited) In an ideal world, in which you could craft your response, how would *you* respond? Personally, I would be all blase... wish them well, say it's no problem, best of luck. All of that. I wouldn't let them know they were under my skin. This isn't a matter of playing games, but rather setting boundaries... as if it were a co-worker. It's a bit performative - you know... act as you want it to be (i.e., they don't affect you any more) and it will be so... eventually anyway! But knowing your ideal response and enacting it are different. Most BPDers do come back and I'm betting heavily that she will based on that alone... they miss the narcissistic supply, if nothing else. There's what we would all want you to do, what we feel is justice, and then there's what you decide is right for you. Personally, I've always had a hard time not 'sharing' my feelings. I've been pretty crazy... and I've never regretted it looking back, but in the short-term it actually probably appeals primarily because it re-establishes that intense connection. So not great for recovery in the short-term I don't think. Edited April 1, 2011 by lapse
Fufu Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 By then when you have truly recovered, you will know what to react to "if she ever comes back" We can't give you an answer, it has to come from yourself. Again, why are you even thinking that she will be coming back or not. Don't think of what she may do or not. Focus on yourself.
Recommended Posts