butterfly2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 okay, no contact is hard but i am doing it. The last couple of texts I got from him made me shake my head in disbelief..... He thinks very weird...Does he have common sense or does he realize what he is doing and saying? So he really thinks that he can get me back at any time when he is ready. Boy he is in for a surprise.... He has a whole life going on that doesnt even include me...and we are or were supposed to be a family. I definitely have a different idea of family. Ive read here that you are supposed to do the NC for yourself, but right now I am doing it yes for me to ease some of this pain and stomach ache, but also to make him think and yes to make him miss me. Going to use the rubberband effect and I dont even know if I want to be with him anymore since he is acting this way. He has changed so much within a period of like a month. But he loves me...so he says.... I dont get it. He likes drama. I dont understand people who need to run away and stay angry instead of working things through and moving on with he relationship. Times get tough and he bails.....yes that has been his thing. Do I want that ..NO. Im still laughing cause he has a HUGE tattoo of my name in rounded block letters on the back of his neck.....what do u do with that. I think he feels like he can do anything whenever he chooses. I probably have allowed that and so now he thinks I will just say OK dear when he wants to come back. But one thing he fails to realize is that the more he treats me this way, the longer he stays away, the more I get used to being without him..... I was married before to an addict and he used to come and go and it got easier and easier to be away from him...... So that is where I am with this....its getting easier although yes my heart hurts and my stomach hurts. I just came from the local 7-11 and the guy asked where he was.. i said he is working. He asked me what happened to me... I used to look healthy and now I look skinny. WOW....stress and heartache has made me lose my appetite. I hate when that happens. I dont like to lose weight and be too thin.
Author butterfly2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Author Posted April 1, 2011 I am not doing good.... I am hurting so bad. I can barely eat. He had not tried to get in touch with me for a whole day now...... yes that is it and that is hard after being with someone everyday. What he was giving me in the relationship most recently is not what I want. I know relationships have there ups and downs and things change as life changes.... I'm just looking for stability and structure...some sort of balance. I don't think he can handle that.... At a loss....don't know what to do.....this is so hard and hurting bad.
Fufu Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 First thing first, go and grab some food if you have not eaten. You don't want to neglect your heath. It's hard being abandoned, however you don't have to abandon yourself. Every day passes, you feel better. Every roller coaster moods you sit through, you become stronger.
Author butterfly2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Author Posted April 1, 2011 I am just so confused.....Why is he acting this way? Why does he have to take an argument to the extreme? It doesn't make sense to me. I know him well enough to know that he is going to be texting me and calling me after the weekend is over. I am pretty sure he has plans this weekend and he dones't want me to bitch at him. HE only thinks about himself. No I don't want a selfish man like that in my life.... so how come I am sitting here sad and hoping he calls? I am actually hoping he sees the freakin light and gets his act together. Asking for too much? Probably so. I will try to eat.... I do not want to get sick and lose more weight... It will look awful. I just want to be happy and healthy.... Why am I watching my phone??? I am so ashamed of myself right now.
Fufu Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Don't let yourself be confused, because it will only drive yourself insane. Nothing ever make sense in any break ups, if they had made sense, they probably won't give us up. Put away your phone, one of a way I heal myself was putting my phone far far away from me until I had to ask my dad to call my mobile phone to find out where it was >_<.
Author butterfly2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Author Posted April 1, 2011 Thanks FuFu..... I need so much support right now. He still hasn't gotten his things from my house.... He said heleft them there to see how things work out.. Well I have done all I can without making myself look pitiful. I apologized... I went to see him, I called him, we worked things through and then he pretty much just kept going on with what he was and is doing thinking that when he is ready I will just be there with open arms.... That is so wrong and selfish of him. I guess he knows how to walk all over me. Weakness is not attractive, i know that... cause he is not a strong man and at times I look at him and think... he needs to be stronger. well while he is out having fun and not focusing on me... I should be doing the same. Is the love I have for him different than the love he has for me or lack thereof? Owell ! As soon as I went NC the other say, he was texting me wanting to work it out...of course I said yes....and we talked about what things we need from each other. He said he was scared to come home. Scared? more like having fun have plans, not ready cause I got things to do, but you stay right there and wait for me. I am almost ready to just strat seeing someone else jsut to hurt him, but I know that I am not ready and I don't want to hurt someone else just to hurt xxx. That would not be right. Just stay NC...... I'm doing it...hard but I am doing it.
SingVoice Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Oh butterfly I JUST got out of a relationship with the SAME KIND of man. He disappeared when things got hard...instead of dealing with them. He was also VERY selfish. I can absolutely understand your feelings. It hurts sooo bad. And it's going to hurt. For days. But KEEP FOCUSING on the negative. What was hard for me was thinking "ugh but I really cared about this person." But what I eventually realized was the the feelings that I had for him were not based on his ACTUAL actions. They were just based on how I felt when I was around him. If I based my feelings for him on his actual actions...well...he was constantly selfish and refused to deal with problems. That shows me he didn't care. So when I finally accepted that (which was SO hard)...some of the pain decreased. No one EVER wants to accept that someone doesn't care enough about them. But a selfish person doesn't. You know that deep down. You know he doesn't care enough. And as hard as that is...try to focus on that.
Author butterfly2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Author Posted April 1, 2011 True - I dont want to accept that cause for a very long time in this relationship he was there for me, he loved me, he did everything for me. Things changed....he did not stay consistent. Where are those consistent men?
depplover_1980 Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Right I'm struggling a little bit here. What have you fallen out about exactly? Why is he a weak man?
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