Mrlonelyone Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 The one good thing about online dating is that all the initial akward introduction stuff is past us for the most part. i.e. the "What do you do questions" that I have said can give me problems in the past. My strategy for that will be to NOT talk about that at all unless she raises the issue. I was also totally open on my profile about my gender and sexuality. A surprising number of women don't consider that to be a deal breaker and will at least communicate with me. So I don't need to worry about that. Is there any general advice ya'll have for me? I haven't been on a date from online ever. Should I go in expecting 50/50 chance she will no call no show? I hear of that happening here so often. I don't expect a whole lot. Perhaps a bit of interesting conversation. A little reassurance that I'm not so repulsive that a woman can spend 30 minutes with me just chatting. Beyond that I have no expectations at all.
Intricategirl Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 There's only one thing I want to comment on... You are hearing so many stories about people being stood up because it IS the anomaly. I mean, there's not a lot of point in coming here and saying, "Woohoo! My date showed up!"
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 Not just here but on other advice boards too. It's like...:/ most of the people online are just there for giggles. I won't worry about it and just go because I'm drowsy and want a pick me up. I really don't expect a whole lot anymore.
bc83 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Hi MrLonelyOne, Good luck - please think positively about yourself - you have a lot to offer and you seem like you'd be a really interesting person to talk with. Just keep that in mind when you meet up, and don't talk yourself into thinking it's not going to go well. Even though you haven't connected with someone in a while, that's still OK. Think about how well you know yourself - probably a thousand times better than the "typical" guy out there. That makes for a much better converation than the typical chit-chat with little meaning. Let us know how it goes! We're pulling for you. BC
alphamale Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 I don't expect a whole lot. you should go in expecting even less...
Author Mrlonelyone Posted April 1, 2011 Author Posted April 1, 2011 Thanks BC83 and Alphamale. @BC83 I will try to not discount the situation right off the bat. @Alphamale. Expecting the person to very possibly not show up at all would not fail me. I'll just go to have some coffee regardless of their showing up or not.
Intricategirl Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 What I'm getting at has nothing to do with these boards. It's more of a general common sense rule- people tend to comment on the things that go unexpectedly, rather than the things that go exactly according to plan. I don't look outside my window and say that my tree is in my yard, exactly where it was last night. But if a 3' wide tree suddenly went missing overnight, and I hadn't heard a peep, that's worth a comment! Likewise, if you have a date scheduled and they show up, it's not particularly noteworthy, because that's what you expected to happen. But if you show up and they don't, it's not what you expected to happen and is going to make many people who otherwise wouldn't comment say something. It doesn't matter whether it's this board or elsewhere, not showing up is an anomaly, and those are more likely to be discussed than a situation where everything goes according to plan.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted April 1, 2011 Author Posted April 1, 2011 I know that intricate. It's not just from these boards, even with people who I have discussed this with IRL... it seems there are more people out there who treat on line dating like a joke. Like it's not serious. That's all I'm saying. I get what you are saying... they don't make headlines out of planes that land safely and elevators that don't get stuck.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted April 1, 2011 Author Posted April 1, 2011 The date went well enough for a initial coffee meet up. She texted me that she was going to be a little late, she showed, we had a good two hour talk and have another meetup planned for the tenth. It was mostly us talking about her and what she does (she's a pastor yet still progressive and not a creationist. Ill be dammed.) So I think that went well enough. I sensed that she felt chemistry. We parted with a hug and cheek to cheek face contact. So now if only more women would give a guy like me a chance to talk to them they might find we aren't so horrible.
Cracker Jack Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 That sounds nice. Glad it went well for you, man.
westernxer Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 Glad you were able to make plans for another meetup. That's a good sign.
whichwayisup Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 The date went well enough for a initial coffee meet up. She texted me that she was going to be a little late, she showed, we had a good two hour talk and have another meetup planned for the tenth. It was mostly us talking about her and what she does (she's a pastor yet still progressive and not a creationist. Ill be dammed.) So I think that went well enough. I sensed that she felt chemistry. We parted with a hug and cheek to cheek face contact. So now if only more women would give a guy like me a chance to talk to them they might find we aren't so horrible. Did she ask about you, ask you any questions? Hopefully the next date won't be talk about only her. Let her get to know you as well, it shouldn't be one sided. Anyway, glad to hear there's some chemistry!
Emissary Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 Pick up/meet the girl and go to the coffee shop, make sure that when entering the shop to kick to door open as hard as you can, it really makes a bold impression, if the door is made of glass it is all the better, pick up a jagged piece of broken glass and grab the nearest employee and scream, "Bring me some coffee!" while carving a line on his/her face, "Do it now or I'll cut you some more!". When the employee rushes back to you with some piping hot coffee, take a mock sip of it and splash it in his face. Grab your date by the hand and drag her behind the counter, take her to the tea station and scream, "I am Godzilla in the form of a man, drink tea and love me!" Force her face under the boiling water tap and pour it down her throat, stuff some tea bags in her mouth while you're at it, "Drink tea and adore me!". This will assert your dominance over her and she will understand that you are in control of this relationship, you may now strengthen the bond by biting into her arm and drinking some of her blood. I've dated a lot of women and had lots of time for trial and error, I've figured out that this is the least risky way to win a girl over on the first date.
cerridwen Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 The date went well enough for a initial coffee meet up. She texted me that she was going to be a little late, she showed, we had a good two hour talk and have another meetup planned for the tenth. It was mostly us talking about her and what she does (she's a pastor yet still progressive and not a creationist. Ill be dammed.) So I think that went well enough. I sensed that she felt chemistry. We parted with a hug and cheek to cheek face contact. So now if only more women would give a guy like me a chance to talk to them they might find we aren't so horrible. :bunny::bunny::bunny: Love that she texted you she'd be late. Very considerate. You mentioned she may have felt chemistry. What about you? Did you feel attracted?
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