EmperorR Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Although my ex is constantly on my mind and i'm implementing NC around 30 something days now, I know soon she will fade away. I literally have to sit down and think of my ex fiance and I can't even hold a thought of her for more than 5 seconds, and I was with her for 3 years. That is all.
AC06 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 True, my ex from three years ago, despite all the pain and drama she brought into my life, is no longer a relevant thought. When a friend brought up something from the relationship while chatting, I literally had to rack my brain to remember something that at the time was a pretty big deal. Three years later and I remember very, very little about the relationship. I know feelings fade over time. I think I'm still healing from the last girlfriend, and I don't WANT the memory to fade, nor do I want to classify her as a memory, and that's why I'm still hurting. But I know one day, when I'm ready, I'll start to forget, and she will become a memory. It saddens me to know it now. But one day it won't hurt any more.
Author EmperorR Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 True, my ex from three years ago, despite all the pain, is no longer a relevant thought. When a friend brought up something from the relationship while chatting, I literally had to rack my brain to remember something that at the time was a pretty big deal. Three years later and I remember very, very little about the relationship. I know feelings fade over time. I think I'm still healing from the last girlfriend, and I don't WANT the memory to fade, nor do I want to classify her as a memory, and that's why I'm still hurting. But I know one day, when I'm ready, I'll start to forget, and she will become a memory. It saddens me to know it now. But one day it won't hurt any more. Yep I'm the same way, I love my most recent ex and her son, but I know soon she will be like my ex fiance who was my first love and I never felt that way about anyone the way I felt about her, just somewhere in the back of my head, I was looking at pictures the other day and like nothing, like seeing me with a stranger sigh. I know NC is for me and for healing, but I guess that's why I want to break it so bad because I know what will happen soon:(.
BlindRage Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) EmperorR, I agree about the whole distant memory. Once I truly started NC is when I began to think of her less and less. When I do think of her the most amount of time is about 20 minutes (and its just trying to analyze or something). But now it doesn't have any emotional effect on me. I feel as if nothing had ever happen and she's nothing more that an imaginary ghost I made up. A lot of things now I don't remember. When I thought of her today, I just thought of how she never did anything that I wanted to do . Anything she wanted I was right there! This seems meaningless but I have to say every time we went to the movies not once did we watch a movie I wanted to watch. When I took her to Universal Studios, it was like literally dragging a freakin stone -this was because she didn't want to go but I did with my family, it was embarrassing, my mom questioned about what was wrong with her-. Our whole relationship revolved around her. I think now I am thinking about her negative qualities. Edited March 31, 2011 by BlindRage
AC06 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 I know NC is for me and for healing, but I guess that's why I want to break it so bad because I know what will happen soon:(. Once you don't want it any more, it gets easier every day. How long it takes to get there depends solely on how much the person meant to you. It's strange, isn't it? That we can sit here and know this, yet know we can't force it.
0hpenelope Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Although my ex is constantly on my mind and i'm implementing NC around 30 something days now, I know soon she will fade away. I literally have to sit down and think of my ex fiance and I can't even hold a thought of her for more than 5 seconds, and I was with her for 3 years. That is all. You're doing just fine! Sad? Psh. I can't wait until the day I think of mine and I will feel nothing about memories. Matter of fact, I found a play bill today to a play that he and I went to, remembered what happened during that date, and with no preamble, I dumped it in the recycling bin. I'm getting there all right. Only good things ahead, brother. Only good.
betterdeal Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 I changed my mobile number today. It felt good to know that, finally, I will not hear from her again. I am planning on moving in the summer. I waited this long because I didn't want to run away, and have used my time hear to heal and have studiously avoided her to do so. I don't miss her one bit. I long for the day when she means nothing, absolutely nothing, to me.
Layzie89 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 I feel you Emperor. I'm at about 60 days NC, 3 months since breakup. She left me and within a month started dating this guy I've always had my doubts about when we were together. All I can say is, as each day passes..I think of her less and less. I still think of her quite frequently throughout the day, but the duration of those thoughts are short lived. Somewhere around the 2-5 minute mark heh, then I lose focus and think of something else. Definitely alot better from the first month or so of the breakup where I would spend hours thinking about her... The hardest time of the day for me is at night when I'm in bed going to sleep...that's when I tend to think of her alot...but again, I'm in a far better place now than I was 60 days ago. Stay strong people!!!
AC06 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 I changed my mobile number today. THIS. If you want a definitive sign you're on the way, it's changing your number knowing they won't have it. In fact, my former ex, the day I changed my number was the end.
smudge21 Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 I think it's one of the hardest things to accept when you're working through NC that at some point this person who you thought was the one and loved so much will one day mean nothing to you. How can those feelings go away! It just seems so impossible that you'll no longer care about them after everything you've been through. I recall an ex from many years ago that I could never imagine life without her and it took a long time to move on. But now, she's nothing to me. I have no positives or negatives to say about her, she's just nothing. My only regret is in how long it took me to move on. It is quite sad to think my recent ex, the one that less than a year ago entered my life, will soon be nothing more than a memory. All the effort put in and all I'll have to show for it is, well, nothing really. In a sense, knowing that I'll be at that stage of NC soon is partly happy but also very sad. I suppose it's like dealing with death in many ways. You never truly forget that person, but you just move on and accept they're gone for ever.
silic0ntoad Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 I agree. The heart solidifies over time, and all those "cherished" memories fade to dust. The important thing is that what you learned still remains.
silvermane187 Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 (edited) Sad? Not really. Sad is waking up thinking about a random good time you had together and feeling your heart sink. Sad is having someone you loved for years tell you they had feelings for you but it was never love. Sad is realizing you are never going to speak to this person again when you want nothing more than to be with them. Right now the idea of an ex being a distant memory may seem sad, but when it actually happens I would describe it as RELIEF. I would kill to regain the piece of mind that was taken from me. She's alraedy gone, when the feelings finally catch up I'll feel more happy than sad. If I could take a pill to fully erase her from my memory I would. The past is the past and all the good memories in the world aren't worth the pain of the present. Edited April 1, 2011 by silvermane187
Nick71 Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Salute to you Silvermane Apart from the killing, not really necessary Brawo, I hear you!
Author EmperorR Posted April 4, 2011 Author Posted April 4, 2011 I love Nc, feeling so strong and radiant at the moment. Waking up and she's not the first thing on my mind at the moment. Anytime I feel like contacting my ex o remind myself I didn't change my number for nothing and why be set back? Almost 40 days mc, Not a peep whisper, txt. I was using my sisters cell phone and she sill talks to my ex saw some text msgs, my ex telling my sister "I wish he would get over whatever issues he has with me:(" That just made me laugh, I have no issues she dumped me finally a year later I accepted it and decides to move on and cease contact. Like I told her about my other exes. Once I say bye and mean it that's it no looking back.
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