Write your list about why you don't want them back here

[bl22]

1. Broken the trust

2. Mood Swings

3. Sly and sneaky towards the end of relationship

4. Can't accept a compliment

5. Insecure

6. Paranoid

7. Immature

8. No ambition

9. Lazy

10. Twists things I'd say into a bad thing

[betterdeal]

Why the f%& do I want him back?!?! I just want someone who can hold me and make me feel safe!!

 

Learn to hold yourself and make yourself feel safe and you'll feel good for it, I promise you. There are very few bears / lions / tigers / wolves around, so your fear is unfounded.

[ALonerAgain]

I think I can relate to these...I want the same things, and my ex will never be able to give me this. Why the f%& do I want him back?!?! I just want someone who can hold me and make me feel safe!!

 

Poponetta, you have to learn how to this for yourself.

 

Trust yourself first and foremost.

 

Many times it's because we want to take from the other person that we feel hurt and resentful.

 

If we are really secure with ourselves, we would walk away, head held high and believe that we will make a better choice next time - and relinquish control of wanting someone who's unwilling or unable to meet our expectations.

 

It's hard and I'm still struggling with this. But I know I'm on the right path now.

[EyeAlone]

1) You were narcissistic beyond belief. The world revolved around you. If you didn't get something that you wanted or felt like you were "wronged," it was always the world's fault. Everyone was against you.

2) You couldn't stay away from drugs and alcohol.

3) Porn consumed your life. Remember how you would tie up the internet while downloading porn and I couldn't study for my tests because I needed to watch lectures online? I remember.

4) You made so many impulsive purchases to the point where you couldn't contribute to rent or groceries yet you still had enough money for alcohol.

5) You were so boring. We never went out even to eat! You never met my friends despite dating for over 3 years. All you wanted to do in the evening is binge drink alcohol and download porn.

6) I despised your family. I know you hated your brother, but he was the only one that semi had his head screwed on right.

7) You tried to change me and insisted that you were doing it because you "loved me." You could not accept how I was.

8) You were unable to engage in a serious conversation. Whenever I tried to talk to you about how miserable I felt, you skirted around the issue.

9) It was always my fault that the apartment was dirty. It was always my fault that dinner wasn't waiting for you when you got home. It was always my fault that there was laundry to be done. You didn't want a girlfriend; you wanted a servant.

10) You think someone is inferior to you because they haven't seen the same movies, listened to the same music, read the same books, etc as you. Again, the world does not revolve around you.

11) You were so critical of me. I could never do anything right.

12) You expected me to be a mindreader and hence you didn't feel the need to communicate your displeasure of the relationship.

13) I had asked repeatedly if there was another girl in the picture and you always denied it. We all know how that ended. The sad thing is that she even told you that she didn't like you yet you abandoned our relationship so you could keep chasing her to "change her mind."

 

I can't believe I wasted so many tears on you a year ago :sick:

[Popondetta]

@betterdeal and @ALonerAgain; I agree that I should make myself feel safe. I am 33 and I've been in two serious LT RS. I've been single a lot of the time so I should be pretty used to making myself feel safe. However, beeing newly single it's easier to remember and focusing on what you miss, because it's so fresh in mind. I also regret not appreciating my relationship enough when I was in it. I thought I would be strong on my own, but I just really miss my best friend as well as having a person that cares about where I am, how I'm doing etc. I miss sharing my bed with him and seeing his face every day

[Little_Bee]

That's a good thread, ok, here are mine (not in a specific order):

 

1. You are not able to show empathy

2. You are not willing to accept my child in my life and become a friend of him

3. You have never loved someone and are not able to love

4. You have a hairy back (a lot of hair) and bottom

5. You have hair growing on you nose

7. In fact the hair you are loosing on your head is growing everywhere else on your body

7. You can't kiss, I never received a real tongue kiss from you (OMG how did I miss I good kiss in our relationship)

8. You are not able to have long term relationships and break up as soon as it becomes a bit routine

9. You follow only your own interests

10. You have always to make stupid comments about other and think it's funny

11. You have Psoriasis on your elbows and behind your ears

12. You are not able to show affection

13. You can't sleep snuggled together

 

I guess there are more but they don't pop up in my mind right now. Well, 13 are quite a bit anyway.

[lcfc1993]

1. Violent.

2. Anger problems.

3. Moody over the little things.

4. Obsessive over things I did.

5. Jealous over other girls.

6. Made me look and feel like a idiot, so many times.

7. Used sex as a weapon.

8. Made threats when she didn't get what she wanted.

9. Dumped me when I didn't do anything.

10. Never there when I needed her like I was for her.

11. Borrowed £100 off me then dumped me the next day (I got it back)

12. Threatened to chuck things out of her house that she'd borrowed off me.

13. Made me go to her house various times to collect those things, but then went out, just to annoy me.

14. Turned people against me.

15. Continually tries to ruin my life, something I cannot forgive.

16. Is so bitter towards me its funny, just because she cannot move on herself and cannot face the fact I can.

17. Didn't like any of her friends.

18. Listened to her friends when they told her to dump me.

19. Would make me change my plans, so I wouldnt go out, then she changed them and went to parties etc. herself, knowing I couldnt do.

20. Lying to me constantly.

21. Using my possessions against me and threatening to do things to them if she didn't get her own way.

22. Lowered my self esteem, confidence and made me a shadow of my former self.

23. Never let me have fun with my friends or have my own time.

24. Hypocrite.

25. Constantly putting me down and trying to change something about me, once I'd changed that, she'd find something else for me to change because she wasn't happy.

26. Messed me around and wasted my time on many occasions.

27. Throwing tantrums even when she was getting her own way.

28. Dumping me 3 times in two days, taking me back twice, until I finally decided I wasn't going to go back to this monster.

29. Her family never really tried with mine, they were ignorant and intolerant.

30. Would never pay for anything, ever. I even had to pay her bus fares from college and food in college on many occasions, as well as paying for everything outside of education.

31. Treating me like a complete idiot, even though I treated her like a princess.

32. Walking all over me and turning me into a pussy (never again will I let a woman do this)

33. Messing with my feelings.

34. Blamed everything on me, even when it couldn't possibly be my fault.

35. Tried to get me jealous, even now, 7/8 weeks on.

36. Tried to show she'd moved on after a few days, by taking pictures with other guys in clubs, just so I would see.

37. Turning up at places she knows I am, just so I will see her with another guy.

38. Spreading lies about me and making me look like the bad guy.

39. Putting me down to make her feel better about herself.

40. Never understanding me when I couldn't do certain things.

41. Never listening when there was certain things I didn't want to do, instead using them against me.

42. In arguments she'd use things against me that she'd know would hurt (I did the same back, I'm not innocent, but neither shouldn't have done it)

43. No commitments for myself at the moment.

44. I can do whatever I want, when I want, with who I want, without anyone having a say.

45. I've realised that you are an actual slag.

46. I can focus on myself.

47. So much free time.

48. No-one now controls me, I am my own person.

49. I am a much better person than I was with her.

50. I can find someone who is much better, in terms of looks, personality and commitment.

51. Two faced.

52. Used to make me feel like I wasn't good enough, and at times even told me I wasn't.

53. Cannot leave me alone to calm down, ever.

54. Has mental problems, and on occasions depression.

55. Tried to take her own life by cutting her wrists once, and then blamed it on me because of things I'd said in arguments.

 

 

I could go on forever, but I won't. These are just some of the things I hated about her. I really am glad we broke up. No other lad is going to put up with the crap she gives them.