maysj18 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) I was seeing this guy casually. Neither of us wanted a serious relationship; however, we both really liked each other. We're in college, so we'd work visits into our busy schedules (usually it was a movie and cooking dinner) and we would usually end up spending the night with each other. He would always try to take it far, but I like to wait so it never went past first base After a couple weeks of hanging out, he started with the "What's going on with us?" questions which was surprising, but it made me happy. I told him that I was wanting to see where it could go, but I'm not worried about exclusivity right now..I'm just having fun with you. He said that sounds perfect and we moved on. A few weeks later he mentioned something to me about a previous girl he had been with and it really upset me. I told him that maybe I'm not as emotionally unattached as I thought and unless something is going to come from this, I want to pump the breaks. He said that he wants to see where it could go without anyone involved, but he still doesn't want to jump into anything serious. The same went for me, but not even 5 minutes later, we start talking about serious relationships and he told me that he doesn't believe in them because he gets bored. I mean, each to their own, but I told him it would be pointless to see where it could go if he's just going to get bored with me. I told him I still wanted to be friends and I didn't expect our relationship to change much, I just didn't want to hang out one on one anymore like we had been. The conversation fizzled after that so it was never set in stone what we were going to do, but I just assumed we were going to just be friends. Apparently, he thought differently though because as soon as we got back to school (this was during spring break) he invited me over and was all over me..in a sweet way. Being so attentive and cute, more so than I had ever seen before. Needless to say, I was confused but just went with it. The big kicker: I finally decided one night about a week later that I wanted to go further with him, so we ended up going down on each other. I have only been with two people before him and one was a long-term boyfriend, so while it was all in good fun it still meant something to me. Everything was great afterwards, no big changes really, until about three days later when he stopped talking to me. Of course, this absolutely ate at me. I had no idea why, but I tried letting it go until he called about 5 days later and apologized for everyyyyything. He has some awful family problem right now, and he said something bad happened related to that. I accepted his apology, and for two days things were back to normal, but it's been almost 5 days since I've heard from him now. I'm to the point where I'm not hurt, I'm just mad; however, do I have a right to be? He told me he didn't want a relationship right now and it was my choice to take it further, so can I hold him to those standards? My thing is we are friends and he knows how I am about hooking up, so I think I deserve an explanation at the least. He has told me in the past all about his family problem, and I know it's taken a toll, but come on we all have our crisis to bear. I know that all in all, he's probably playing mind games, but I'm just lost on how to handle it. Edited March 31, 2011 by maysj18
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