2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Hi I was just thinking today after all this **** BU I went through that I was happier before I met her, ok I was always thinking for years that it would be good to have a proper GF I could see a future with as I never had many GF at all and even less that I wanted to be with in my 30 odd years - actually none until her, but after what happened with her I think that I could not face the pain and suffering I went through when she started initiating the BU and I think that as I am used to being single that I should just remain single as at least if I do that I know I will never suffer this pain, the absolute hell I went through for the last 3 months. A lifetime of being single is less painful that 3 months (and counting) of unadulterated hell wouldn't you agree, is anyone else thinking along these lines? I'm not being pessimistic just realistic! 2011
DollyGirl12 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 What you're going through and feeling is normal. But, as you said, you were happier before you met her, or at least before you went through the pain of loss. You can get back there, although sometimes hard to realize through the emotions. I've been NC with my ex for 8 months now. There were some really bad days and there were good days. At the point of indifference now but really don't even feel like dating. I've been enjoying spending time with my friends and doing things I enjoy doing. I sacrificed much of what I enjoyed because he was disabled and wasn't able to do many of those things. I'm not, however, opposed to meeting someone should that person that sparks my interest suddenly appear in my life. Just not out there seeking it. You will get there!
appetite4destruction Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Dude, you sound a lot like me. I was a late bloomer with dating too. I'm 25 going on 26 and just had my first serious relationship and first ego-traumatizing seige of a heartbreak. I had done everything to make her happy. I do mean everything. So much that it damaged my relationship with my friends and family and I was taken to the cleaners to hold on to her. I was so hurt in the beginning that I never thought I could get over her. Now a month later of NC, I'm turning around. I don't miss her as much as I used to. I still love her, but I am much happier without her. She keeps trying to drop little crumbs for me to pick up, but I want the pie and I don't want her flavor anymore. You've gotta accept that its over. I am sorry to tell you that. It took me 6 months to accept it. You don't have to give up on dating at all because there are many available women out there to date who are looking for exactly what you are looking for. You can't give up, dude. Life goes on and you won't be able to make someone else happy until you are happy, too. Heal yourself and fix your heart. It will take time and you can write this one off to experience as I did to mine. It's funny, b/c I still pray that she will come back to me. I'm checking my phone and facebook every hour about 6 times. One day that will stop when I find the right girl. Man up, I know its hard, I was recently where you are, but you have to do it. Women are not attracted to men who are not confident. Re-enter the dating world as a confident man. You'll find someone so much better! App
radiodarcy Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 A lifetime of being single is less painful that 3 months (and counting) of unadulterated hell wouldn't you agree, is anyone else thinking along these lines? I'm not being pessimistic just realistic! 2011 i have been thinking along these lines for quite some time now. the damage that break ups and rejection do to a person's psyche is severe. i don't know how so many people go through it over and over again. at 35 i'm a late bloomer too - - and have had very few relationships. to make matters worse the ratio of women to men where i live is very high (something like 4 women to every man). there's a lot of cheating and games being played. so much deception. combined with this latest rejection, it's enough to make me want to stay at home and add to my cat collection...
Author 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 Thanks for all the replies. I know I will get over this but I find it hard to accept how she went from being so keen and it seemed to be progressing and we seemed like we could work at it as we were both in the same boat (low dating, same age, got on great, talked till 5 in the morning abotu everything as if we were the same person almost), then she bailed, wasn't even bothered in the end. Oh well that's love for you! I mean almost everyone I know was hitched up and married 5 years ago and i'm still kicking dust up walking the streets, I did enjoy my independence for all those years but getting that urge to settle down. Tbh I don't even feel like dating at all and don't think I will for at least a year, maybe more. Almost all the girls I meet are ego-centric bitches sorry to say that and I am not generalising about women but they all seem like this. 2011
Lil1 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 I'm so sorry that you are feeling heartbroken 2011. I really understand where you are coming from as I am n a similar situation right now. I met someone online and things got pretty serious with us fast and now I am trying to figure out a way to let him down easy. I do think that he is a great guy, but I am realizing that I do not feel as strong for him as he does for me. Just last night I brought this issue into the open and asked him if we could take things much slower (we have known each other for about 2 weeks, but he was already introducing me to his friends and his family). You said youve been seeing this girl for 3 months... that is still a very fresh, very new relationship so the fact that you became so emotionally attached makes me think that you two also got serious fast. Please dont let this last experience turn you into some bitter woman hater, that will be a great disservice for your own personal growth and will make it that much harder for you to meet someone truly special for you. Just take this time to evaluate why or how things ended the way they did and learn from it so that you do not make the same mistakes again in your next relationship. I wish you the best 2011!
TryingtoUnderstand32 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Hi I was just thinking today after all this **** BU I went through that I was happier before I met her, ok I was always thinking for years that it would be good to have a proper GF I could see a future with as I never had many GF at all and even less that I wanted to be with in my 30 odd years - actually none until her, but after what happened with her I think that I could not face the pain and suffering I went through when she started initiating the BU and I think that as I am used to being single that I should just remain single as at least if I do that I know I will never suffer this pain, the absolute hell I went through for the last 3 months. A lifetime of being single is less painful that 3 months (and counting) of unadulterated hell wouldn't you agree, is anyone else thinking along these lines? I'm not being pessimistic just realistic! 2011 You are angry, hurt, bitter...So am I! But I decided to get back out there anyway. I just got dumped a few days ago, and No I'm not over him but I will not stay at home and cry about it for the next 3 months. I'm going to go out and meet people. If something should turn into something, fine. If not...than I had fun. I don't have any problems getting dates..its just that there is a lack of quality out there. My main fear is not finding the quality I saw in my ex.
Fufu Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 When the time comes, you will be ready to accept it again.
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