Timbo22 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 I dated a girl for 3 1/2 years, things were perfect damn near almost so much that we both took things for granted. She blind-sided me 2 months ago and ended the relationship. Seriously case of the gigs I'm sure she said she lost herself and she told me there was someone else. Well a few weeks later she found out I was at a party with alot of girls and got really mad and told me she made someone up so she would hate me. One of her bestfriends who confirmed she made it up and shes one of my good friends too. I don't deserve this and I was always there for her. She wanted to marry me one day and would always talk about a future together. Her school has been so tough as she goes to one of the hardest school in the nation. I have done everything wrong the last 2 months begging, pleading...No use. She told me nothing would make her happier to be her friend, I couldnt do it. I recently saw her at the mall with one of my buddies and it sent me into complete shock. She starred at me and seemed like she was going to aproach me and I just kept walking by. I cant explain what happened to me. I looked back and she just put her hands up. 6 hours later she texted me, the only time called or texted is when she gets mad at me. She said "Thanks for being a dick when you saw me" I told her I was sorry and I went into shock. She then added she drank almost a whole bottle of vodka that night. Its like she didnt believe me. 2 days later I was hospitalized with pneumonia, I reached out to her told her I was scared and in the hospital. She said she was so sorry, but then added I didnt think you would talk to me again because of the way you glared at me... She was so mad about it still. When i was in the ****ing hospital. I poured my heart yet again... We had such a bond, I really thought she was the one. I always made her laugh, I'm charming and a very attractive person and so is she. Lots of her old friends thought we would last forever. but its like now she has completely changed her lifestyle and seems to be much happier. I asked her if she wanted me to let go and never look back and she said "Yes" I then said are you seeing someone else and she said "Yes" Idk if she is lieing again or what so I leave her alone idk. Im so lost hurt and I cannot describe the pain I'm in. It seems like everything I do is a memory of her. I dream of her all the time as well. I have constant setbacks. I just started NC 3 days now. I want her back more then anything, especially if she is just confused.
Wogs11 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 I understand your pain so so much. I know what it's like to want someone back even when they hurt you so much. My BF of 2 years cheated on me and dumped me. 2 weeks later was in a relationship with someone else, 2 weeks after that was texting me saying he still loved me and 2 weeks after that he proposed to the new girl. They are getting married in 4 months. It wasnt that long ago that we went to a friends wedding together and he told me I was the only girl he would ever want to marry. You deserve so much better. Whether she is confused or not - she has no right to say the hurtful things she did to you and lie to you just to upset you. Thats not what love is about. Good work with the NC - keep it up because it is worth it in the end. Keep your chin up
Fufu Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Give yourself a clap, 3 days of NC, you are doing good. "things were perfect damn near almost so much that we both took things for granted." No relationships are ever perfect as no body is perfect. "I don't deserve this and I was always there for her. She wanted to marry me one day and would always talk about a future together. Her school has been so tough as she goes to one of the hardest school in the nation. I have done everything wrong the last 2 months begging, pleading...No use. She told me nothing would make her happier to be her friend, I couldnt do it." You certainly don't deserve this treatment from her, therefore why are you putting yourself in this situation of how she chose to give up on you. My ex said he wanted to marry me too and we even bought engagement rings together, well what happened? He gave up on me. When they had give us up for real, begging and pleading will only make yourself feel more hurt. "I recently saw her at the mall with one of my buddies and it sent me into complete shock. She starred at me and seemed like she was going to aproach me and I just kept walking by. I cant explain what happened to me. I looked back and she just put her hands up. 6 hours later she texted me, the only time called or texted is when she gets mad at me. She said "Thanks for being a dick when you saw me" I told her I was sorry and I went into shock. She then added she drank almost a whole bottle of vodka that night. Its like she didnt believe me. 2 days later I was hospitalized with pneumonia, I reached out to her told her I was scared and in the hospital. She said she was so sorry, but then added I didnt think you would talk to me again because of the way you glared at me... She was so mad about it still. When i was in the ****ing hospital. I poured my heart yet again..." Why are you even replying to her rude sms? Do you feel great after receiving her rude sms? Do you feel happy replying to her? "We had such a bond, I really thought she was the one. I always made her laugh, I'm charming and a very attractive person and so is she. Lots of her old friends thought we would last forever. but its like now she has completely changed her lifestyle and seems to be much happier." Read what you typed, you said, We had such a bond, I really thought she was the one. It is not, we have such a bond, she is the one. You have done more than enough for her and it's time to focus on yourself. And it doesn't matter if she has changed her lifestyle and be happier. Do you want to be happy or just want to put yourself in the past and remain limbo for the rest of your life? "I asked her if she wanted me to let go and never look back and she said "Yes" I then said are you seeing someone else and she said "Yes" Idk if she is lieing again or what so I leave her alone idk." She had already given you her firm decision. Why do you have to stick around and wait for her and be unhappy and depress. "Im so lost hurt and I cannot describe the pain I'm in. It seems like everything I do is a memory of her. I dream of her all the time as well. I have constant setbacks. I just started NC 3 days now. I want her back more then anything, especially if she is just confused." Memories don't go away, hurt does go away. She's not confused, a confuse person will not do this kind of actions to you. Almost all the time or all the time, we think our exes are playing mind games with us, they are confused, they are still struggling with their thoughts if this relationship is worth to work out. The truth is, we are the ones confusing ourselves.
Author Timbo22 Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 Thanks for the advice FuFu, I just wish now I could get her out of my head... Are good out weighed the bad so heavily. I'm just left with so many questions? She was really the only person I could ever talk too. She went from being so nice to being so cruel.
Fufu Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 You are welcome It hurts, we all been through it. My ex used to be so nice to me, treated me coldly now as well. As much as we missed the past, the world is always spinning, time always passes, don't put yourself in the past. How she is treating you today is more important than how she had treat you in the past. To me, the only question you have to start thinking is How to be happy again?
Author Timbo22 Posted April 1, 2011 Author Posted April 1, 2011 Im having a really bad morning, I just cannot get what she told me out of her head. I miss her and love her so much... I just dont understand why it seems like she doesent have a care in the world? Her own brother who I am really close to says she has been drinking heavily something she has never done and that she has been acting so weird in a happy excited way. Its hard to see someone you love and care about just change so much and run out of your life like it was nothing. People say go out with your friends and do things it doesnt really help me. Ive done that alot, I even have met a few girls who were really interested in me. It just makes things worse. I actually sat in a trance listening to this girl talk to me about her self and I instantly started comparing her to my ex. Im young and I'm 22 yrs old a college student and Im damn near a brad pitt look alike clone and she even told me that. and I know there is plenty of women out there. Love just seems so taken for granted these days, divorce rates, people cheating in each other...Its sickening.
Fufu Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 (edited) I too used to wonder why my ex doesn't seem to give a hack about our relationship about me. Well, he chose this. I didn't. I don't have to do myself injustice. You are still young, don't beat yourself to a relationship that doesn't work out. Enjoy your lives, enjoy and be gratitude what you have now, like your family, your friends and whatever you are doing now like working or studying. I'm same age as you too. Whenever a door closes, a new door opens for you. However, this door will not be seen by you UNTIL you open your heart to accept the fact you can be truly happy without her in your life. Edited April 1, 2011 by Fufu
depplover_1980 Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Timbo, it is very early days for you yet. Don't be too hard on yourself, but keep your distance from her, your head up and eventually you'll hit a point where each week gets that little easier. If you're as hot as you say you are, then I could keep your distracted for a while. Come here.
Author Timbo22 Posted April 2, 2011 Author Posted April 2, 2011 hahaha anything to keep me distracted ;/.....
Little_Bee Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 I know it's easier said then done but try to to think about how to get her best. You need to slowly move on, every day a little more. You are at day 5 of NC and even though it will take a while you will soon have days when you don't think about her constantly and with every day of NC you will be better in moving on.
broken-and-lost Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 Timbo, it is very early days for you yet. Don't be too hard on yourself, but keep your distance from her, your head up and eventually you'll hit a point where each week gets that little easier. If you're as hot as you say you are, then I could keep your distracted for a while. Come here. lol now there's an offer you can't refuse
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