bslchump Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 When I moved home, I thought I was going to feel better more quickly. I've cried every day since I've been here. I feel so frustrated and stressed out about everything that it sometimes brings me to tears just thinking about how powerless I am to change anything. My family is already irritating me. They're putting so much pressure on me to get out and act like nothing ever happened that it's like they forgot I just got out of a serious LTR. It makes me tense and stressed just thinking about dealing with them. It's interrupting my sleep so I've been exhausted as well. I haven't really heard from her. I half expected for her to call when she realized she was now living alone, but she hasn't. It's probably silly of me, but it just dissapoints me. It's like my last few threads of (pathetic) hope are being painfully severed and it's taking forever for it to sink in. I feel trapped. Nothing is the way I want it. I wasn't supposed to be back living at home, I was supposed to be living in another state with her. I feel like I'm back to step one.
betterdeal Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 It will get better, man. Don't be too hard on yourself and try and make an advantage out of the disadvantage: you're back home so you're saving money and the food is probably better, right?
Author bslchump Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 I am saving money, but the food is strictly worse. I used to cook for myself all the time, but there's almost no food around here (due to a food allergy in the family), so I haven't been eating very well. I'll need to grocery shop soon. It just doesn't feel as "homey" as our apartment. I've never been particularly coddled at home so I don't get home cooked meals or people to do my laundry. That's fine with me, but it means there arent many benefits to living here, except saving money. I guess at least I don't have to hang around all of our old stuff. Few items here remind me of her, so that's good. I just really thought shed be upset enough to contact me : /. Before I left she said that sleeping in our old bed was going to be incredibly difficult. I guess I have up and down days. I feel "ok" right now, and I need to keep myself busy with something fun and distracting so the depressing thoughts of her don't seep in.
SingVoice Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 You know what is great? The fact that you AREN'T just acting like everything is fine. The only way you will TRULY move past this is to actually allow yourself to have those feelings. That's not to say you should cry on the couch and eat frosting for weeks on end...but I think too many people just PRETEND they are ok after a devastating loss. Yes...go out and do things...when you are ready. But in the meantime....allow yourself to PROCESS what happened. Think about what happened...what mistakes you BOTH made...try to come to terms with the fact that this is change...and it happens. But DO allow yourself to feel...and if it become excessive then maybe seek some therapy.
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