LovelyReds Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 It's been one heck of a ride with this guy, I can tell you that. I only hope someone can help shed some light on this grey subject. So, here it is. I just broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months, and for good reasons too. He wasn't emotionally available, and it was breaking me a part. I made the decision after a good month of thinking, and realized that I loved him, but I loved myself more...So, we're done. I explain to him, that until he's ready for a relationship, we can't be. He appeared to take it...okay, I guess. He looked kind of sad. We had broken up before ( he broke up with me) because he claimed he wasn't ready for a relationship. After some time, he initiated our coming back together, and told me how depressed he was without me. Anyway, we work together, and it seems that he's mad at me now. He ignores me, and he's starting to exhibit traits of a spoiled child...it's weird. long story short, he called me ( it's only been a week since I broke up with him) with absolutely nothing to say. He was stuttering, and it seemed like he called out of spontaneity(however you spell that at 2am). He wanted to know if I was seeing someone ( it's been a week!), and what I was doing that day, "what was new" with me and all, again, it's only been a week. I rushed him off the phone, in the most polite way, I was very uncomfortable, but I felt bad, so I texted him back a little later. So far, we've been texting casually for about two days. I kind of missed him, so I offered to take him out to eat, and he rejected me. I guess I'm just confused about his intentions, or maybe what he believes my intentions are. I guess, I would really like to know what he's thinking( if that's possible lol)...Should I even try to connect with him? P.s He called me today, but I let it ring, and on the voice mail, he was asking me about taking a shift at work, but we had already talked about the issue( many times), and he already knows I'm working that shift!....Is he just trying to find ways to talk to me? and if that's the case, why reject my offer to meet up? Please help me!!!! I really do love him, and although I'm pretty quick on my feet, I would love to go running back to him, but only if he shapes up. signed-Very confused Reds
TaraMaiden Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 If you read the Caliguy guide to NC in my signature, that's the best thing you could go with. Caliguy knows his stuff, because he actually also worked with his ex-. he did all of the things he advises, and came through triumphant and dignity intact. Everything, but everything, except - "I'm so sorry, I was wrong, forgive me, whatever it takes, I will do it, if only to try to win your heart back" - is just bull$hit&breadcrumbs.
Author LovelyReds Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 I'm well aware of the NC rules, but I'm not hurting. In fact, I'm pretty darn good. As I said, I'm pretty quick on my feet. I just want to know what's going on with him, again, he contacted me, and I'm the one who broke up with him. There is no bitterness ( at least not on my half), and I wouldn't mind getting back with him. NC is for people aching to break away from ex's they're still madly in love with you know, I just really want to know what's going on in his mind. Is he trying to be friends? Does he miss me?Or is he having some kind of silent breakdown, that's really it.
Author LovelyReds Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 Also, he's kind of my boss, so, I can't really ignore his calls,that is, unless I want to be fired(...which I don't).
TaraMaiden Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 I'm well aware of the NC rules, but I'm not hurting. In fact, I'm pretty darn good. As I said, I'm pretty quick on my feet. I just want to know what's going on with him, again, he contacted me, and I'm the one who broke up with him. There is no bitterness ( at least not on my half), and I wouldn't mind getting back with him. NC is for people aching to break away from ex's they're still madly in love with you know, I just really want to know what's going on in his mind. Is he trying to be friends? Does he miss me?Or is he having some kind of silent breakdown, that's really it. I'm going to sound really harsh, but frankly - it's none of your business. YOU broke up with HIM. the kindest thing to do would be to refute all PERSONAL contact, and keep all and every communication on a strictly-BUSINESS level. If you broke up with him, you had good reason to. Now, behave in a way somebody who has broken off a relationship, should behave. With dignified distance, and politeness. You actually have no right to know what is going on in his mind, because, if you'll forgive me, if it's messed up, you are instrumental in part of that. As his ex- you should be out of the picture. The kindest thing you could do is to tell him, firmly, that while you absolutely recognise the necessity of professional, business-based discussion, you intend to steer clear of any personal, intimate or general interaction, because that would be the fair and correct thing to do for both of you.
Author LovelyReds Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 Yeah, I guess that makes the most sense right now. I love him is all,and when you see someone you love kind of down, or acting out of character, the automatic reaction is to help, or try to figure what's going on with them. I guess in some weird way, I forgot that it's my fault
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