TheLoneSock Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Herpes is not bad. What in the hell? Yes, it is bad. Having any STD is bad.
tigressA Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 And this is not even most of the drama. I have had to deal with my ex bf (the one that dumped me in my last thread as OcenaGirl) trying to come back into the picture. He is calling and texting all day long, all week. Meanwhile, my new relationship is going from strength to strength. We talk every day, today multiple times. I just made our relationship FB official so there was more drama there. Block/ignore the ex, and tell those ladies you will take legal action against them if your name is put on that letter. Block/ignore NSA guy. Then go on with life.
betterdeal Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 You spent and hour on the phone with him and you are still friends via Facebook, and you're enjoying the gossip / drama, especially as you're not emotionally involved. Am I right so far?
TheLoneSock Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 You spent and hour on the phone with him and you are still friends via Facebook, and you're enjoying the gossip / drama, especially as you're not emotionally involved. Am I right so far? She will not be satisfied until he has validated her by saying he wants to have sex with her. He rejected her for sex before, and she still isn't over it. It's written between the lines in all her posts.
Intricategirl Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 This is ridiculous. You didn't sleep with him, and you didn't sleep with her, but she's still trying to involve you in their business. You're taking her word for it that he's got STDs, and involving yourself in a situation where you have no reason to trust what either of them are saying. Which brings me to why are you even talking with him? To flaunt that you can pick up somebody else in no time at all? What do you owe this guy? You don't even owe him a statement that he should get tested, and you REALLY don't owe him an hour long conversation. Spend that time with your new guy if things are going so great, because that's where the time should be invested. It's drama for no point at all. Just a bunch of people giving a damn what strangers think of them, trying to one up each other and prove how awesome they are to each other by tearing everyone else down. I don't even think suing her for including your name is worth it, because it's more investment in people who aren't worth it! Big deal, she includes your name. Maybe he gets upset at you for it. So what?! A guy that turned you down for sex, but had sex with ugly chicks, and now supposedly has STDs is being put on blast by some girl, and WHY do you care what he thinks?? Why do you have enough contact with him to even know what he thinks!? Jesus H. Christ. Leave it alone!
betterdeal Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) She will not be satisfied until he has validated her by saying he wants to have sex with her. He rejected her for sex before, and she still isn't over it. It's written between the lines in all her posts. I think you're reading way too much into it and being cynical. My observation is that she appears to dislike saying no to people, likes to be liked, has quite low self-esteem, and is not used to enforcing her boundaries. I personally enjoy a bit of schadenfreude on occasion, and when the misfortune of someone who rejected me is often one of those occasions. I know most people I know IRL do too. However, an hour long phone call listening to him gibbering on about the melodrama he's created and the initial enthusiasm to be sucked into this brown sticky continuance of it suggest someone who isn't used to considering her options / feelings / best interests first. The later posts and realisation that she doesn't want to be part of the sh*tfest reinforce this idea. Is it my problem? No Is it in my interests to participate? No The positives are: now she knows why he turned down the casual dating offer - because he's an unstable mess; and she doesn't appear to be angry or overly involved, so big move forward. Now just to think, is it my problem / how does this make my life better, and make decisions based on that, and there you have it - someone who avoids being dragged down into someone else's problems and avoids letting that negativity into the rest of her life. Change your phone number and block him on Facebook - fresh start, new you. Edited March 31, 2011 by betterdeal
Kamille Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 I think you're reading way too much into it and being cynical. My observation is that she appears to dislike saying no to people, likes to be liked, has quite low self-esteem, and is not used to enforcing her boundaries. I personally enjoy a bit of schadenfreude on occasion, and when the misfortune of someone who rejected me is often one of those occasions. I know most people I know IRL do too. However, an hour long phone call listening to him gibbering on about the melodrama he's created and the initial enthusiasm to be sucked into this brown sticky continuance of it suggest someone who isn't used to considering her options / feelings / best interests first. The later posts and realisation that she doesn't want to be part of the sh*tfest reinforce this idea. Is it my problem? No Is it in my interests to participate? No The positives are: now she knows why he turned down the casual dating offer - because he's an unstable mess; and she doesn't appear to be angry or overly involved, so big move forward. Now just to think, is it my problem / how does this make my life better, and make decisions based on that, and there you have it - someone who avoids being dragged down into someone else's problems and avoids letting that negativity into the rest of her life. Change your phone number and block him on Facebook - fresh start, new you. Awesome and extremely constructive advice.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 I think you're reading way too much into it and being cynical. My observation is that she appears to dislike saying no to people, likes to be liked, has quite low self-esteem, and is not used to enforcing her boundaries. I personally enjoy a bit of schadenfreude on occasion, and when the misfortune of someone who rejected me is often one of those occasions. I know most people I know IRL do too. However, an hour long phone call listening to him gibbering on about the melodrama he's created and the initial enthusiasm to be sucked into this brown sticky continuance of it suggest someone who isn't used to considering her options / feelings / best interests first. The later posts and realisation that she doesn't want to be part of the sh*tfest reinforce this idea. Is it my problem? No Is it in my interests to participate? No The positives are: now she knows why he turned down the casual dating offer - because he's an unstable mess; and she doesn't appear to be angry or overly involved, so big move forward. Now just to think, is it my problem / how does this make my life better, and make decisions based on that, and there you have it - someone who avoids being dragged down into someone else's problems and avoids letting that negativity into the rest of her life. Change your phone number and block him on Facebook - fresh start, new you. I agree that this is great advice. Also, OP - this kind of enmeshment with a guy you were trying to have sex with 2 days before becoming exclusive with your current boyfriend (and were still posting about after you became exclusive with bf) is not supportive of the relationship you've committed to. I am not talking about "he'll be mad if he finds out." I'm talking about your boundaries, and what it means just with YOU that you're playing this game, at this time. Like somebody else said, block ALL of this and live the life you have going on right now.
yessy21 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 What in the hell? Yes, it is bad. Having any STD is bad. having an STD that will kill u is bad. But hpv and Hsv is not bad. its something that we already carry in our systems. and its not everyones fault how they got it and how it began. 1 in 4 have hpv and hsv
anne1707 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 All the 7 women he was banging were objectively worse looking than me (older, heavier) but whatevs... I have their names and even if you are not their friend, you can see their profile pic. Usually it's enough to judge attractiveness. So judgemental! What is the relevance of how attractive these women are? Plus have you not realised by now that you do not have to be skinny to be attractive and that there are other factors like personality which matter far more? You are making it sound as if you feel superior to these women in some way (yet he still turned you down).
xpaperxcutx Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Last time a woman got revenge on a cheating man, she rented out a billboard to post his indfidelity to the masses. Of course, if you have the money, you could always chip in for an ad. ( Just a suggestion). On the other hand, you should be glad you dodged a bullet. However, I don't understand why you still haven't completely eradicated him from your life. Given that you are in a relationship with a guy who actually likes you, you should really draw up some good boundaries between yourself and the men you'd dated ( and done you wrong in the end). I'm curious why it's so hard for you to delete a guy from FB. Your notoriety on LS is duly noted, but that hardly consitutes your need to keep unnecessary people on a site where you post personal information.
LexiB Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 So judgemental! What is the relevance of how attractive these women are? Plus have you not realised by now that you do not have to be skinny to be attractive and that there are other factors like personality which matter far more? You are making it sound as if you feel superior to these women in some way (yet he still turned you down). To be fair, OPs comment about the other women's looks was made in response to another poster's dig at her own attractiveness (or at least what appeared to be a dig). It wasn't purely spontaneous.
anne1707 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 To be fair, OPs comment about the other women's looks was made in response to another poster's dig at her own attractiveness (or at least what appeared to be a dig). It wasn't purely spontaneous. Maybe. But it is still the OP's view and is consistent with the attitude she has frequently demonstrated in the past.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted April 1, 2011 Author Posted April 1, 2011 I think you're reading way too much into it and being cynical. My observation is that she appears to dislike saying no to people, likes to be liked, has quite low self-esteem, and is not used to enforcing her boundaries. I personally enjoy a bit of schadenfreude on occasion, and when the misfortune of someone who rejected me is often one of those occasions. I know most people I know IRL do too. However, an hour long phone call listening to him gibbering on about the melodrama he's created and the initial enthusiasm to be sucked into this brown sticky continuance of it suggest someone who isn't used to considering her options / feelings / best interests first. The later posts and realisation that she doesn't want to be part of the sh*tfest reinforce this idea. Is it my problem? No Is it in my interests to participate? No The positives are: now she knows why he turned down the casual dating offer - because he's an unstable mess; and she doesn't appear to be angry or overly involved, so big move forward. Now just to think, is it my problem / how does this make my life better, and make decisions based on that, and there you have it - someone who avoids being dragged down into someone else's problems and avoids letting that negativity into the rest of her life. Change your phone number and block him on Facebook - fresh start, new you. I woke up this morning to more letters. I just want them all gone. I am not responding to anything further. My first mistake is responding to the first letter. I responded because it was written like this women is emotionally devastated and I felt for her. So I didn't think and just wanted to give her information I have and offer support. I won't deny, a part of me was also happy that this guy is a dick. But then it all spiraled out of control, especially with him calling. The worst bit was when he attempted to kind of flirt with me. He said something along the lines "does your offer still stand?" :sick::sick: I think I will just block him and all the women from FB and also block his number.
zengirl Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 I actually think it's deplorable what SHE is doing. She's responsible for her sexual health. I don't think it's terrible to try to warn other girls if you know someone is infecting others. Of course, she should contact the guy and make him aware of the issues first, but she may have done so. If I somehow knew someone were spreading herpes or other STDs without informing their partners, I suppose I might notify a few. Not in this crazy drama-inducing way, mind you, but anyone who was potentially exposed should get tested. That's just good public health. This is ridiculous. You didn't sleep with him, and you didn't sleep with her, but she's still trying to involve you in their business. But with this I concur. This has nothing to do with ES. She didn't sleep with the guy and wasn't exposed.
P&R Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 There seems to never be a shortage of life in Oceangirls life.
Intricategirl Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Zengirl, I suppose I might too. But my main problem is that she doesn't KNOW he has STD's. She's been told by someone who is so drama loving that they seek out every woman on his Facebook account and tell them all. She doesn't know this girl, she doesn't know her motivations and agenda, and she doesn't know if it's the truth. So why is this girl being automatically believed, especially when she went about it in the most drama filled way possible? But if I had not slept with someone, and I get a message from someone I've never met on Facebook, telling me that they had STD's, my first assumption is that the guy did something to make her mad, and she's out for blood. Hell, even if I had slept with the guy in the past, I'd view it as suspect, but I'd go down and get myself tested and contact him to let him know he should be too. But I'd also wonder what he did that made her so angry that she decided to put him on blast like that. And the purpose of the letter?? Why a letter? "We the undersigned may or may not have slept with you in the past, but we strongly urge- nay, DEMAND- that you be tested immediately for STDs!" Hmph. If he's got them and knows he's spreading them, he doesn't care. If he doesn't know, a letter with the names of girls he hasn't even slept with isn't going to convince him to get tested. Besides, why won't a single one of those girls just pick up the phone and call him? It's just the high art of drama. And there's no reason to step into it. Especially when she never slept with him in the first place.
TokyoG33kyGal Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 are you sure this isn't just a bad April Fool's joke?
Gala Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 (edited) First of all, to the OP - I'm sorry that this guy's drama spun out of control in your lap. Hopefully this will be an instance for you to remember in future. As for any claims that herpes is somehow trivial...try getting HSV-II yourself and dealing with it while having a normal romantic and sexual life with non-carriers. I had a near-miss with it, and know a few people who were saddled with it. The outbreaks are quite painful and very contagious, and a primary outbreak can actually cause severe flu symptoms; one friend was even hospitalized. One can be contagious before manifesting the actual sores, and there is no dependable way to test for it unless an outbreak is happening; both of these factors justifably create more paranoia around the disease. There is no cure for HSV, given the nature of viruses. There is medication for management of the outbreaks when they occur, and that's it. Five years of frequent outbreaks is a typical scenario (every 30-40 days at first). They become more occasional over time, and that's about the only good news. General restraint prevents me from including links to images of HSV-II sores. But I'm sure they're quite accessible. Do your homework, folks. Please. Edited April 1, 2011 by Gala Adding more information
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted April 1, 2011 Author Posted April 1, 2011 are you sure this isn't just a bad April Fool's joke? Nope it's 100% real. I am pissed at myself for getting dragged into it. This guy has called me again today from a land line. I think he is using me as some sort of a therapist plus trying to manipulate me into taking his side. He is getting tested today. (I DON'T CARE ) It just ridiculous. Tonight my new bf met my brother for the first time and they REALLY liked each other. My brother is extremely critical of all my bfs and thinks this one is a keeper. He also thinks that he is really into me Agh, this should be the happy time for me.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted April 1, 2011 Author Posted April 1, 2011 Off topic but: My bf is not very expressive and I told him today how my mum is annoying me with asking me silly common sense questions like did I help with the dishes after he cooked me dinner etc. He said "You can tell your mum that she raised you well. Everything you have done so far has been perfect" He also told me that I am the perfect mix of logic and emotion. That he likes that I am a bit emotional and if I was any less so, I would be too cold for him (everybody has always hated how emotional I am). To be fair, I am really watching myself this time and not over-reacting to things. It's our 1 month anniversary. Things are going great He is also happy to wait for sex - but is all over me with hugging/kissing/holding hands so I know he is attracted.
betterdeal Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Good stuff. Keep taking care of yourself and your life will keep going from strength to strength.
sweetjasmine Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Off topic but: My bf is not very expressive and I told him today how my mum is annoying me with asking me silly common sense questions like did I help with the dishes after he cooked me dinner etc. He said "You can tell your mum that she raised you well. Everything you have done so far has been perfect" He also told me that I am the perfect mix of logic and emotion. That he likes that I am a bit emotional and if I was any less so, I would be too cold for him (everybody has always hated how emotional I am). To be fair, I am really watching myself this time and not over-reacting to things. It's our 1 month anniversary. Things are going great He is also happy to wait for sex - but is all over me with hugging/kissing/holding hands so I know he is attracted. ES, this should be the topic, and the rest should be off-topic. Focus on your bf and ignore the BS drama with the other guy.
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