Eternal Sunshine Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 This morning, I get a message through Facebook from some unknown girl. She writes me to let me know that she has been a "sex partner" to the NSA guy for the last few months. She has just been tested positive for herpes and HPV. She is still awaiting results for some other STDs She also claims that she got divorced 4 years ago and didn't date or have sex until this guy. She got tested before she started dating again and was all clean. So there is no doubt in her mind that this guy gave her STDs and she admitted to having unprotected sex with him. So she wrote to all his Facebook friends with this story and asked us if we have been intimate with him. I responded back with my story (I made out with him but never had any kind of sex). It turns out that he has had 7 women he has been having NSA sex with in the recent months. All unprotected. They are all freaking out. Turns out that him rejecting me for NSA sex (although still WTF why????) was the best thing that ever happened to me They asked me if I want to help them brainstorm ideas for how to take revenge on this guy. I am all in
Star Gazer Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 I actually think it's deplorable what SHE is doing. She's responsible for her sexual health.
TheLoneSock Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Gross. See what happens when you flirt with temptations? That was a close call for you. Hope you learned your lesson. You're very lucky.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 I actually think it's deplorable what SHE is doing. She's responsible for her sexual health. Yes BUT him having unprotected sex with multiple partners and carrying multiple STDs is Also, he led her to believe that he is monogamous all that time.
MrNate Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 This morning, I get a message through Facebook from some unknown girl. She writes me to let me know that she has been a "sex partner" to the NSA guy for the last few months. She has just been tested positive for herpes and HPV. She is still awaiting results for some other STDs She also claims that she got divorced 4 years ago and didn't date or have sex until this guy. She got tested before she started dating again and was all clean. So there is no doubt in her mind that this guy gave her STDs and she admitted to having unprotected sex with him. So she wrote to all his Facebook friends with this story and asked us if we have been intimate with him. I responded back with my story (I made out with him but never had any kind of sex). It turns out that he has had 7 women he has been having NSA sex with in the recent months. All unprotected. They are all freaking out. Turns out that him rejecting me for NSA sex (although still WTF why????) was the best thing that ever happened to me They asked me if I want to help them brainstorm ideas for how to take revenge on this guy. I am all in Even us guys (though we might look like it) have preferences.
Star Gazer Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Do you have evidence that he was aware that he had either STD? It's not like a guy having multiple casual sex partners is so unheard of. After all, YOU offered him NSA, and even if you'd used a condom, you wouldn't have been safe from either HPV or HSV. Funny that you're being so judgmental of what he's been up to, when you would have done the very same thing had he not rejected you.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 Even us guys (though we might look like it) have preferences. All the 7 women he was banging were objectively worse looking than me (older, heavier) but whatevs...
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 Do you have evidence that he was aware that he had either STD? It's not like a guy having multiple casual sex partners is so unheard of. After all, YOU offered him NSA, and even if you'd used a condom, you wouldn't have been safe from either HPV or HSV. Funny that you're being so judgmental of what he's been up to, when you would have done the very same thing had he not rejected you. I don't know if he knew but at the very least he is a liar for telling her they were monogamous. It's fine to have few casual sex partners as long as people are upfront about it.
betterdeal Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 You want to get revenge on someone who didn't bone you and didn't give you a dose?
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 You want to get revenge on someone who didn't bone you and didn't give you a dose? Actually, no. I now want to get out of the whole thing but these women are hell bent on including my name too and writing some nasty letters. I feel for them but at the same time, I don't want to get involved. He is pretty unaware of most of this. I almost feel like talking to him and asking him to apologize to the women so that they would calm down a bit. But then I am afraid that this will be betraying them. If I do nothing right now, the letters are going out with my name on them. Ugh.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 The reason they feel my name should be included is that when I was with him at the farm and we made out - he was quite pushy in taking it further and having sex. He tried for sex number of times during that day and night and I declined. Then few days after, I was feeling low and asked for NSA and he rejected that. But yeah, if I haven't declined sex then - he would have quite happily given me the dose
MrNate Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 The reason they feel my name should be included is that when I was with him at the farm and we made out - he was quite pushy in taking it further and having sex. He tried for sex number of times during that day and night and I declined. Then few days after, I was feeling low and asked for NSA and he rejected that. But yeah, if I haven't declined sex then - he would have quite happily given me the dose You're a woman, suck it up. Wear a tight, short dress, and go get some penis tomorrow. Wham, bam, thank you sir.
Kelvin Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 How is writing letters revenge? It'd be more productive to share the story with your girl friends. Remind them to protect themselves at all times.
betterdeal Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Actually, no. I now want to get out of the whole thing but these women are hell bent on including my name too and writing some nasty letters. I feel for them but at the same time, I don't want to get involved. He is pretty unaware of most of this. I almost feel like talking to him and asking him to apologize to the women so that they would calm down a bit. But then I am afraid that this will be betraying them. If I do nothing right now, the letters are going out with my name on them. Ugh. I see where you're coming from. I suggest you tell them what you're feeling i.e. that, on reflection, you don't want to be part of the hate mail campaign. You have your life to lead now with your decent fella. No need to waste energy on this other guy. A letter to him from whomever wants to write to him telling him what they feel and what diseases they've contracted is surely good enough?
Survivor12 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Actually, no. I now want to get out of the whole thing but these women are hell bent on including my name too and writing some nasty letters. I feel for them but at the same time, I don't want to get involved. He is pretty unaware of most of this. I almost feel like talking to him and asking him to apologize to the women so that they would calm down a bit. But then I am afraid that this will be betraying them. If I do nothing right now, the letters are going out with my name on them. Ugh. I'm confused. In your OP, you said, "I am all in :D". Which is it? Like someone else said, you weren't "exposed"...as a matter of fact, he didn't even attempt to have sex with you or lie to you so the only real motive you have for revenge is that he rejected you. Do you think that he isn't going to see that? Tell that woman (in writing) that you do not consent to your name being used. Depending on the content of the letter and what is done with it, you could become part of a slander or libel suit if they cannot PROVE that he was responsible for infecting them. And, even if they can, you obviously CAN'T. Step away from the drama and be happy that you dodged a bullet.
Survivor12 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 "But then I am afraid that this will be betraying them." By the way, how can you be betraying them? First of all, you don't have grounds for such a vendetta and since you don't even KNOW this girl, you owe her nothing. Besides, you don't even know for sure that she's telling the truth!
betterdeal Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Next time someone asks you to do something, just take a breath and pay attention to your feelings. If you're not sure, say so. Chances are you're more likely to say what you mean more often this way and therefore not need to change your mind as much.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 It's not your responsibility for these women. You took responsibility for yourself. That's enough. Tell them that if they put your name on that letter, you'll sue them. And save all information and correspondence between you and that girl.
Survivor12 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 "Tell them that if they put your name on that letter, you'll sue them. And save all information and correspondence between you and that girl." I intended to say just that (which is why I added "in writing"), but forgot!
SmileFace Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) All the 7 women he was banging were objectively worse looking than me (older, heavier) but whatevs... sigh...... Edited March 31, 2011 by SmileFace
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 If you don't even know this person ... why are you on her friends list, or whatever, to get the smear campaign in the first place? And why is she aware that you are a potential sex partner of the guy? You've looked at pictures of all his sex partners? Are they all your friends on fb? Why, if you don't know them? Why are you even involved in something like this? Are you 16?
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 If you don't even know this person ... why are you on her friends list, or whatever, to get the smear campaign in the first place? And why is she aware that you are a potential sex partner of the guy? You've looked at pictures of all his sex partners? Are they all your friends on fb? Why, if you don't know them? Why are you even involved in something like this? Are you 16? 1. I am on his friends list and she messaged all the females on his friends list and asked them if they are potential sex partners. 2. I was curious so I looked. I have their names and even if you are not their friend, you can see their profile pic. Usually it's enough to judge attractiveness.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 And this is not even most of the drama. I have had to deal with my ex bf (the one that dumped me in my last thread as OcenaGirl) trying to come back into the picture. He is calling and texting all day long, all week. Meanwhile, my new relationship is going from strength to strength. We talk every day, today multiple times. I just made our relationship FB official so there was more drama there.
yessy21 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 I don't know if he knew but at the very least he is a liar for telling her they were monogamous. It's fine to have few casual sex partners as long as people are upfront about it. He knew. He liked u enough not to want to do this to u. Herpes is not bad. Do u ever stop to think why he is doing this? maybe this is his revenge. Its wrong what he is doing but sooner or later he will reason with himself. i speak from knowledge.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 Another bit of drama: NSA sex guy called me and we were on the phone for an hour. He is basically claiming that the woman is psycho and lying and that he rejected her so she is doing revenge. He wants me to back him up in this claim. WTF. I told him I don't want to get involved but to get a clean STD test and then he has nothing to worry about. He thanked me for advice.
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