fleur_de_me Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) I've been on SUCH a roll lately in everything else in my life. Today I found out I got this awesome fellowship, and it's like my life is in an upward trajectory. I'm so happy with everything in my life, but all of these great things make me miss the ex even more. It's like I have no one to share my happiness with and it seems so pointless. I hate that I still miss him.... I've actually been debating lately if I should respond to his last email (I ignored it when he sent it 6 weeks ago), we had been NC for months until he emailed me out of the blue. I didn't feel the need to reply then, I haven't been able to stop thinking about him since he sent it. I'm going to be back in the same town with him (we broke up when I moved away for grad school) this summer for 2.5 months, it will be weird to be there and not see him. I wonder if it is worth opening the door of communication, because I still feel so unresolved and think this whole break-up is stupid and pointless. I don't know what to do- lately (since I got his email and found out I'd be back in town this summer), I've been thinking about him and missing him a lot. I feel like I have so much to be grateful for in every other aspect of my life, why can't I have love too? It makes me feel empty because that's what I want more than anything else. Edited March 31, 2011 by fleur_de_me
Fufu Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 "I hate that I still miss him...." It means you don't have to miss him. If you had ignored his e-mail for 6 weeks, continue doing it, you don't have to pick on his breadcrumbs and start wondering what on earth he is thinking in his brain. Every break up is stupid and worthless, still it happens. If you can't move on and walk away, at the end of the you will be the ............ (I leave it for you to think what you want to put on the dotted lines) If he is serious about you and want to have a life with you, he will be the one doing the sincere actions to move you, you don't have to do anything about it. You just have to move on and be happy. Your happiness don't come from him, your happiness always come from yourself first. Irony speaking, the more you want love, the more it doesn't come. Why not love yourself first?
Author fleur_de_me Posted April 1, 2011 Author Posted April 1, 2011 "I hate that I still miss him...." Your happiness don't come from him, your happiness always come from yourself first. Irony speaking, the more you want love, the more it doesn't come. Why not love yourself first? I do love myself- this isn't the issue. And I've achieved a lot of happiness alone, but I always feel like this happiness is solitary, and there is something missing. For me, the best things in life are even better when you share them with someone special. All I'm saying is that all of this great stuff that is happening to me makes me realize how much I miss him. It was weird- I dreamed about him last night (although it was more like a nightmare- he was with another girl and told me he doesn't love me and never would), and then I woke up this morning and had two missed calls from his area code- turned out it was the pharmacy in his neighborhood where I used to get my prescriptions filled when I stayed with him. All very strange. I'm kind of having the feeling like I should reach out to him now, like there's something going on. Or maybe I'm just missing him a lot.
TryingtoUnderstand32 Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 I do love myself- this isn't the issue. And I've achieved a lot of happiness alone, but I always feel like this happiness is solitary, and there is something missing. For me, the best things in life are even better when you share them with someone special. All I'm saying is that all of this great stuff that is happening to me makes me realize how much I miss him. It was weird- I dreamed about him last night (although it was more like a nightmare- he was with another girl and told me he doesn't love me and never would), and then I woke up this morning and had two missed calls from his area code- turned out it was the pharmacy in his neighborhood where I used to get my prescriptions filled when I stayed with him. All very strange. I'm kind of having the feeling like I should reach out to him now, like there's something going on. Or maybe I'm just missing him a lot. I know the feeling of missing your ex. I feel it every minute. Also have dreams of him and wake up and remember its over. Its the worst feeling.
Fufu Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 We are all human beings, it's normal to feel something is missing in your life. However, he is not that special person that is even worth for to share the best things in life with. Looks like you are in the fantasy stage, have to get out of it by your own will, if not you will lose track of reality. You can do it, I believe in you. It's good to see that you love yourself, how about love yourself even more?
Author fleur_de_me Posted April 1, 2011 Author Posted April 1, 2011 Thanks guys...I know I'm in a weird place right now. I feel like I'm functioning well in my life, I'm living but just feeling the hole that he left in my heart. I know it takes time..... I just hope I can meet someone new at some point who will make me feel this kind of love again. I get really scared that maybe my ex was the last chance. And it has been almost 8 months since we broke up and I am certainly doing better now (I don't cry every night!) and I'm starting to build a new life for myself, but it is lonely sometimes. I have friends, but I miss having someone special in my life. I keep wondering if there is a way to fix things between us. He did "reach out" with that email last month, but I guess it is just breadcrumbs? I told him in December that I was going to disappear forever because I was upset, so now I'm guessing he won't keep trying to contact me. I wonder sometimes if some contact is better than nothing, if maybe it would help me have more peace.
Fufu Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 you are really doing well if he really wants to be with you, he will do more than just reach out to your e-mail. Personally, i think it's best not to contact him at all. Do you really feel you can move on properly while still talking to him? It's up to you You will know what's best for yourself.
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