brville00 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 My girlfriend broke up with me out of the blue when she went back to work at her old job where her ex fiance works. She said she wants to be with me but that she is not over her ex like she thought she was and it is not fair to be in a relationship with me and her still have feelings for him. She does not want him back because he was A@#hole etc and said she is pissed she cant get over him. She also said that she did not want me to stop trying for her but she doesnt know how long that would take if ever or if she even met someone else. She goes on and on about me and wanting me in her life. She asked me out to lunch out of the blue one day and somedays doesnt seem to want to chat to much. Her BF told me not to give up on her because she has things to work out. She acts loving and sweet one day then kind of distant the next.
Author brville00 Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) Also i know i should stay away but she said she doesnt waant me to and she wants me to keep saying the sappy things to her that i say. but does say she has no idea. She cries also when we are together sometimes and cuddle etc saying she is stupid and mad at herself Edited March 31, 2011 by brville00
Fufu Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Have you ask her this ultimatum question? "Do you want to be with me for real?"
Author brville00 Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 Yes i have and she says she does. but she just says its not fair for her to have feelings for him and be in a relationship with me.
Layzie89 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 So let me get this straight. She goes back to her old job where her ex fiance also works. She breaks up with you, and says she still has feelings for him. She tells you she still wants to be with you though, she just needs time. WHAT??? Sounds to me as if she wants to try things out with her ex fiance again but also wants to keep you around just in case things don't go too well with him. ****s wack man. Sure, she tells you will never go back to him because he was a complete *******, OF COURSE she's going to tell you that. What kind of girlfriend would tell her boyfriend "hmmm, I don't know, maybe I would like to try again with him." A bunch of crap if you ask me...I know, because my ex said the exact same things about this other guy she was interested in that was supposedly an '*******' as well. Outcome? She left me for the '*******'. I know you love the girl but you have to look at the situation objectively. Look at the facts of what she's doing. She's abandoning the relationship you two had all of a sudden when she starts working with her ex fiance again. A kind gesture, to have told you she still has feeling for him and it's not fair to you. But it is what it is. She's leaving you to pursue things with him. She wants you to still be around though...but you gotta ask yourself..are you really OK with the fact that she's working with this guy who shes probably going to start going on dates soon and getting intimate with? Don't be a doormat man. Lay down the law and set things straight. Tell her that if this is what she wants, you respect her decision and will let it be. You have to make it clear to her right now that you know what her endeavors are despite what she says and you won't accept anything less than the relationship you had. If she chooses to be with you, great. If not, walk away with your head high knowing you've done nothing wrong and that you're actually saving yourself from further heartbreak down the road with this girl because if she's so willing to drop you now, it would have happened sooner or later. Last but not least, don't beg for her back, don't let her see you crying. Women like strong, independent men. Show her you're fine without her even if inside you're burning up...a little bit of pride goes a long way. Hope you feel better man.
Fufu Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 so she says yes, what about her actions? I agree with what Layzie89 said, are you very sure you want to be with this person who doesn't know for sure she wants to be with you?
Author brville00 Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 her ex has a gf he has been with for awhile. her fam and friends dont like the guy either. Her actions are she still asks me to lunch and wants to hang but also at times is stand offish. Very confusing. Says she still wants me to say those sappy things to her etc like i always did and to keep trying but also needs a little space.
Layzie89 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Her ex having a gf and her family not liking the guy could work against you. As we all know, people tend to want what they cannot have. The forbidden nature of her getting back with him would make ot that much more interesting for her to pursue things with him and if he reciprocates the slightest interest to her, the game is on. Just my thoughts...as for her wanting.you to say the sappy things, please take a second to rereadmy initial post.
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