Yes, it is over. But now she is being overtly promiscuous due to her mania.

[dreamingoftigers]

Holy cow! Found a book on BPD and so many things my ex would do/say now make more sense.

 

Now that I am out of the relationship, I need to reprogram my sense of normalcy.

 

Thanks for the nudge to investigate BPD, Dreaming. Very good and helpful stuff!

 

Thank you thank you.

 

I thought it weird that my husband married a woman diagnosed with BPD before even reading the materials I gave him on it. What an "oops" that was.

[betterdeal]

Do you mean that in a good way, or a bad way?

 

Neither, it's an observation. Your inner self is worried about further contact. Imagine she's just like any other object in your life. A stove, perhaps. And every time you connect with that object, you get burnt, in the same spot on the same hand, just a bit deeper each time. Soon, no matter how much you make a conscious effort to connect to the stove, even to fix it, your inner self, your subconscious self, pulls away from it.

 

What would you do with a faulty object that kept hurting you and you could not fix? Ignore it? Not connect to it? Leave it to the experts? Keep putting your hand on it hoping it'll be nice to you this time?

 

To all....she has been trying to get my friends to go out with her and hang out with her (guy friends and girl friends). it seems to be in an attempt to leave me without things to do on certain nights, and to intentionally spite me. I have no idea why she continues to feel the need to do this. She wanted NC, and I have given it to her. Thankfully, my friends are loyal, and always politely tell her no thanks. This is just getting exhausting.

 

Yeah, mine friends too, thankfully, and having lots of female friends and all my male friends not being led by the dicks, they all see her as trouble and have no truck with it. Thank f*ck they do (and thank me for picking my friends wisely).

 

Everything to her is urgent, life or death. She doesn't have a linear memory of her past, just lots of fragments in a jumbled mess. One minute she's completely wrapped up in one strong memory, the next minute something else. You have a linear memory, a continuous stream of events and feelings that you can recall in order, and see the causal links, the changes, the continuity. That's what she craves - your sanity.

 

And now you've taken that away and you're a b*stard for doing

so

. You could have fought for her. You could have saved her. You believe in her and if she can make sure you still do then she knows you really, deep down, love her and are sorry for abandoning her, for hurting her

so

much. And it's not fair and she'll make you feel the pain she feels because you don't understand, you just don't understand.

 

But you didn't give her that pain, that pain that she needs "you" to understand. You are actually a substitute for whoever did give her that pain. She's trying to freak you out, make you feel insecure, strip you of all that makes you happy. And if she succeeds she'll see a coward, a big baby before her and throw you away, again.

 

So delete her from all your social media. Tell your friends you want nothing to do with her and that you're quite upset by her antics. Change your phone number. Create a forcefield of self-love and respect around your self. She's going to push every button, test every weakness, do every low down dirty thing she can get away with to break you.

 

You can chose to accept her pain and suffer, to keep putting you hand on that stove, or you can choose to deal with your own problems, cut her off and let her deal with her problems, put your hand under the cold tap and leave that stove alone.

 

Think about you. Forget about her.

[Fufu]

I only can say you paid too much attention on her, focusing on her too much.