rhonian Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Ok, long story short, been with my GF 2.5yrs. We split in December of last year and then made up New Years Eve and have been happy ever since with no real threats to the relationship.... Fast forward to Monday. I didnt sleep well Sunday night and ended up getting to sleep about 3am. I woke about 930am and we went down to the kitchen to get some breakfast. We were talking about why I had such a hard time sleeping last night and in the conversation I said that I was going to take a shower and walk the dog (it's 10am now). She says take a shower after you walk the dog and I said OK. Meanwhile, I went down to the basement and checked on some piping that I had to re-caulk because her washing machine was leaking. I checked the caulk and realized that it cured pretty good and decided to wash a load of clothes to see if the leak was remedied. I washed the clothes. Fixed! Its now 11am. Im laying on the couch in the basement getting ready to watch one of my favorite shows that comes on at 11-1130 - BIG BASS BATTLE on VS channel. I was going to watch the show and then walk the dog afterward. My GF comes down the steps at 11 and asks me what Im doing? I said Im checking the leak on the washer and everything looks good and its fixed. She said what about walking the dog. (the dog is at my feet curled up on the couch asleep) I said Im gonna watch this show and take him. She says Do you know anything about dogs? I said I know plenty. Well you should of walked him an hour ago, he needs a walk. I said I was checking the washer and I will walk him after the show in 30 mins. Were going back and forth. I said Go upstairs and go back to work, I'll walk him in 30 mins and if you want him walked before then then you walk him. She calls me a f-ing ********* and tells me that if I want to have that attitude I can go. So, I get up pack my bag and while Iam packing my bag she takes my house keys off her keyring and lays them on the table. I take my bag, computer and keys and make the 1.5hr drive home. We havent had any communication since. Thoughts/advice/comments....please! Thanks.
Perplexed81 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 I haven't come upon one of these situations in a while so I'll go ahead and lay it out for ya. Its 1 of 2 scenarios. The FIRST one is probably the one you hope for, which is, she's basically PMS'n hardcore and you'll get the phone call in a few days after it passes with her apologizing and wanting to get you back. Unfortunately I doubt its the first one becuase usually if they are PMS'n hard (NO OFFENSE AGAINST WOMEN), she coulda dealt it with a number of other ways. Now on to SCENARIO number 2 which is exactly the same situation I was in. Scenario number 2 is, she's been brewing for quite sometime now, she's made up her mind about you, maybe or maybe not has been talking to someone else and needed just the littlest thing to blow the relationship outta the water. She saw the perfect opportunity with something as lame as walking the dog and she rolled with it. Sorry to say my friend, but its been over for sometime now and the lame walking the dog thing was just what she needed. The relationship isn't short term and she obviously knows you very well and had an inkling already on how you would react. Infact I guarantee you she played the entire scenario in her head prior to initiating it. To end my post, i'll leave you with the scenario that me and my ex broke up on. Over the weekend I got pissed about how her total control of my money left me basically begging her for the littlest bit of money to spend on myself so I told her I was going to start depositing my checks in my own account from now and writing her a check for my portion of the bills. Her response was a little something like this the Monday morning after the weekend of her probably brewing over the situation or maybe longer. Monday Morning: Her: "So what are we going to do about this?" Me: "I told you what I'm going to do" Her: "Well if this is the way things are going to go, then I think we need to re-evaluate things" Me: "Thats fine with me, infact, don't use this lame excuse with me, if you've already got some other guy waiting in line ready to move in, just admit it" Her: *Sarcastic Laugh* "You just have no idea what your saying, and thats fine, think what you want" Me: *Staring blankly at the TV while she walks out of the room* I get up, take a shower, mull it over, and after getting to work call her at work. Me: Hey Her: Hey Me: Look baby, i'm sorry with the way i've acted this weekend, its just that I get a little irritated at the fact that It seems I have to beg for every single dollar that goes over my small allowance during the week, I'm sure we can work through this and work this out" Her: "I don't think this is going to work anymore" Me: *Sits in AWW, didn't see this comming* "Don't you love me anymore?" Her: "Yes, but i'm not in this relationship to run it like a business" Me: "I said i'd compromise and work this out" Her: "I'm sorry, I just don't see this working anymore" I hangup immediately, go to the house, pack up all my **** and leave. She has no idea i've done this until she gets home to find out that I've left. Same exact scenario as you except I don't think she planned it out for me to be suddenly gone or maybe she did I dunno. I DO KNOW that she knew exactly how I would react to this dumb situation becuase she knows my buttons obviously after 2 years so now 7 months later, my best bet is that she planned this all along. So to conclude this post, I say, its the latter and that you should move on. I know guys and girls do this and its the most COWARDEST *If thats even a word* move ever and it happens everyday. We are supposed to be adults and just leave things answered and just tell the other person, hey, i don't wanna be with you anymore, this this and this is why, have a good life. Unfortunately life doesn't work this way. I wish you the best of luck and hope maybe this painted a little picture as to what has happened in your life.
Trovador Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 That happened once to me, my ex cared more about the dog than me... I also think it was just a lame excuse to end things, even if you had some little blame on the episode (for example, not telling her that you first would do this and later that... although I don't know the dynamics of your home)... sad thing is that she used the dog as a weapon, dogs are like kids and they never should get involved in their parents fights...
Author rhonian Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 Perplexed, funny, you bring up the "monthly" because she was on the tail-end of it. However, like you, I dont in the slightest want to blame it on that. Scenario 2, is money. Its my gut feeling that she has been brewing over something for some time. Over the last few weeks, I noticed her personality change to where she was cursing terribly and having these small fits of what I call rage (for her) because she is so under control most of the time its really out of character for her. Its and LDR and has been for 2.5yrs. I think maybe she saw me not striving to relocate to her and was getting tired of the relationship. I was tired of it too. Good news, is its been 3 days NC and I am in no way hurting and really am pretty much relieved of the end of the relationship. It was time to end it. With that said, I could be wrong but I believe in a few days she will make contact because all she has to do is come to her senses and realize YEAH, we argued about walking the dog but the minute she tells me to go is where she crossed the line. So, to me she cut the ties, especially with giving me back the keys. We'll see......tks for your words.
TaraMaiden Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 As a dog behaviourist, I can tell you a dog doesn't need so much walking, as stimulation and activity. just as an aside, folks....
robinseggblue Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Perplexed, funny, you bring up the "monthly" because she was on the tail-end of it. However, like you, I dont in the slightest want to blame it on that. It's a good thing that you "don't want to blame it on that" because PMS stands for PRE Menstrual Syndrome. The hormone levels rise (causing the irritability) and rise and rise until the first day of the "period" at which point they drop (this is what causes the period to begin). So when it has begun, PMS has ended. Being on the tail end of something has nothing to do with PMS.
Perplexed81 Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 No i'm not going to blame it on that. One more bit of advice unless you've already made the mistakes. Absolutely under NO CIRCUMSTANCES do you contact this person. I don't mean go into NC like most LSR's will instruct you. Do not contact her for 2 weeks. If she doesn't contact you with I'd say 2 weeks, then its REALLY OVER! infact I give it a couple of days before she contacts you unless I was right. If it 2 weeks you haven't heard anything that is your cue to basically know for a fact its over for good. Most guys will enjoy there newfound freedom or whatever for about a month, then once the new has worn off, get lonely and start messaging the ex.
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