SummersEve Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 It I think it's a fetish because he is always talking about how he wants me not to be concerned about weight and he is always staring at large women. Now he takes BBW models and morphs them into something that looks like they are 600 pounds. It is a GTS (giantess crushing skinny man) fetish. It is just unbelievable to me. I am no expert so maybe somebody else will join in here. I would make a huge distinction between a passing interest and a fetish. Also, perhaps he likes it but not obsessively or exclusively. Fetishes can be where the guy can't get off unless he is fantasizing about his fetish. I think that's incompatibility, he wouldn't be attracted to you. I hear just absolutely anything can be a fetish. I heard of a guy who would pay prostitutes to eat hamburgers in front of him. They are very deep-seated and pervasive and from what I hear, don't change. If you go to www.fetlife.com omg, you can see just... anything. I wonder if it's a passing thing with your guy because otherwise why would he would be with you? Unless he is embarrassed to be seen with a very obese woman. Anyway, that's all I know but I would definitely look into it further. Good luck.
TokyoG33kyGal Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 pr0n is fantasy/fetish. most porns are pretty much the same anyway so i guess he is exploring something out of ordinary. like here in Japan, they have rape/groping fetishes but does not mean they would do it. which also explains why their hentai and manga are really way off reality. have you seen The Kids are Alright?" it is about a lesbian couple and there's a scene were their son found out they have been watching gay men porn and he asked why they watch it. they said lesbian porns are mostly staged so watching gay porn does it for them.
mr.dream merchant Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 I see some separate issues here. I've never been with a guy who didn't use porn. I never considered it my business. It is the male equivalent of my own mental fantasies, which I would be offended to have someone else involve themselves in (and OP I understand that's not what you're doing). Just because someone (either sex) has a partner doesn't mean they don't want solo too sometimes. It is quick and easy, fast food vs. gourmet dinner. Did he say it was a fetish or do you just mean a specialized type of porn? I think a lot of guys tend to get into different phases with what they watch. Maybe it's just his week for fat chicks. Next week might be redheads. That's my guess because if that was really his thing then why would he be with you? There are plenty of overweight women around. I don't think variety in porn and variety in real life sex directly translate at all. You say you're 99% satisfied with the low-variety sex you have, so it sounds like you weren't complaining but if so then I think it's on you to bring in the variety if you're the one who wants it. (if he would not accept it then that's different). It sounds like he said he is happy with everything the way it is, variety in porn but not so much in the bedroom. I have seen so many gf/wife complaints about men's porn use and often think it is just way off. (again not OP, it sounds like she is just wondering what the heck the fat girl porn thing means). I think that guys should tell their lady friends from the start yes, I look at porn. I like it, I will continue to do it, it has nothing to do with our sex life, I consider it my own private business, and that's that. The women often don't use porn and think about it from their own mindset, not understanding how different it is. They will think it means he's not satisfied with them or even consider it cheating. Then, the guys get sneakier about it, because they don't want to deal with the drama. But then the next time she "catches" them, it looks guilty as hell. She will then start talking about his "porn addiction" or at the very least be stung because he lied to her. Why not just lay it on the line in the first place. Guys don't have to tell a woman anything about his private porn habits. Should you have to tell your man about whatever ridiculous double penetration fantasies you get off to mentally? Didn't think so.
Ginger Beer Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 I kind of envy women's ability to just get off from thoughts. I'm a pretty creative person but it's work to really visualize sex enough in my head to get to orgasm as fast as porn. Some guys literally can't do it anymore which gives me some pause to think that maybe porn isn't good for us after all. It seems to make our sexual imaginations get lazy. Then again, I've learned a lot from porn and I feel like I am better in bed because of it overall. Still though it is hard not to compare the over-the-top insanely good looking sex found in porn to the run of the mill sex found in reality. I can, I just think of previous sexual encounters I've had. Not hard really.
SummersEve Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 (edited) Guys don't have to tell a woman anything about his private porn habits. Should you have to tell your man about whatever ridiculous double penetration fantasies you get off to mentally? Didn't think so. I think you are misunderstanding my point and actually agreeing with me. What I am saying is instead of the lying and hiding and promising to stop that guys tend to do (that I've heard a zillion times on message boards) you are right, TELL HER it is none of her business if she asks you about it instead of the behaviors listed above. No, I do not think my masturbation habits, and any aids I choose to employ, are my husband's business whatsoever unless I invite him in. Same way with his. How about listen instead of getting rude? "Ridiculous dp fantasies?" I don't know who you are talking to but it isn't me. Edited April 1, 2011 by SummersEve
Ross PK Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 I am no expert so maybe somebody else will join in here. I would make a huge distinction between a passing interest and a fetish. Also, perhaps he likes it but not obsessively or exclusively. Fetishes can be where the guy can't get off unless he is fantasizing about his fetish. I think that's incompatibility, he wouldn't be attracted to you. I hear just absolutely anything can be a fetish. I heard of a guy who would pay prostitutes to eat hamburgers in front of him. They are very deep-seated and pervasive and from what I hear, don't change. If you go to www.fetlife.com omg, you can see just... anything. I wonder if it's a passing thing with your guy because otherwise why would he would be with you? Unless he is embarrassed to be seen with a very obese woman. Anyway, that's all I know but I would definitely look into it further. Good luck. I've heard that most people (not sure if it's women and guys, or just guys) have at least one fetish. Absolutley nothing wrong with it IMO, seems totally natural. As long as it doesn't cause harm to anyone, and you don't start being innapropriate (like doing stuff in public).
SummersEve Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 (edited) I've heard that most people (not sure if it's women and guys, or just guys) have at least one fetish. Absolutley nothing wrong with it IMO, seems totally natural. As long as it doesn't cause harm to anyone, and you don't start being innapropriate (like doing stuff in public). See Ross, that is where I'm confused here. I've mostly heard of it with guys. Also, I am making a distinction between an "interest" (I don't know what the right words are) and a true "fetish." To me, a fetish would be something much stronger. What I have heard of is guys with fetishes who really are only interested in their fetish, sexually. And then the gf or wife is just kind of used while they are fantasizing about their fetish. In other words, the guys I'm talking about are not attracted to their wives, and the wives are heartbroken when they discover this. It would be different if the guy had a fetish (or fetishes) but ALSO was sexually attracted to his wife, or if the wife knew the deal in the first place and had been given the choice to accept it or not. I think that is the OP's fear, that maybe he is just with her because he is too embarrassed, socially, to be with a morbidly obese woman but that that is the type he really wants and is attracted to. I would hate to find out I was with somebody who only pretended to be attracted to me but wasn't. Yikes. How do you think she could find out? Or are you saying you think he feels exactly the way he is acting like- that he has his fetish but also is attracted to her? P.S. In my understanding (which could easily be wrong) "interests" are common but fetishes are not real common. Edited April 1, 2011 by SummersEve
Ross PK Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 (edited) See Ross, that is where I'm confused here. I've mostly heard of it with guys. Also, I am making a distinction between an "interest" (I don't know what the right words are) and a true "fetish." To me, a fetish would be something much stronger. What I have heard of is guys with fetishes who really are only interested in their fetish, sexually. And then the gf or wife is just kind of used while they are fantasizing about their fetish. In other words, the guys I'm talking about are not attracted to their wives, and the wives are heartbroken when they discover this. It would be different if the guy had a fetish (or fetishes) but ALSO was sexually attracted to his wife, or if the wife knew the deal in the first place and had been given the choice to accept it or not. I think that is the OP's fear, that maybe he is just with her because he is too embarrassed, socially, to be with a morbidly obese woman but that that is the type he really wants and is attracted to. I would hate to find out I was with somebody who only pretended to be attracted to me but wasn't. Yikes. How do you think she could find out? Or are you saying you think he feels exactly the way he is acting like- that he has his fetish but also is attracted to her? P.S. In my understanding (which could easily be wrong) "interests" are common but fetishes are not real common. Well, technically a fetish is supposed to be something that turns you on, you enjoy getting off too, and you can 'only' get off if you induldge in it, whether solo or with a partner. I never really think of fetishes like that though, I just see them as what you'd describe as interests, basically things that turn people on, they like to get off over them, but they could still masturbate or have sex and get off without the fetish being involved. So no, I wouldn't say most people have a fetish in the 'technical' sense, but I'm sure for most people (probably mainly guys), there's probably at least one thing that they have a big thing for. Could be feet, shoes, bondage, food play, whatever. I think that is the OP's fear, that maybe he is just with her because he is too embarrassed, socially, to be with a morbidly obese woman but that that is the type he really wants and is attracted to. I would hate to find out I was with somebody who only pretended to be attracted to me but wasn't. Yikes. Who knows. How do you think she could find out? Or are you saying you think he feels exactly the way he is acting like- that he has his fetish but also is attracted to her? I think she could find out by snooping on his computer some more (not sure if it'd be 'right' though), if he also has pictures of normal sized or skinny women, then it means he obviously finds these sort of women attractive too. Maybe she could ask his friends what his past girlfriends were like. I'm sure he's probably into her. I love chubby women myself, but I still find slim ones to be hot. Edited April 1, 2011 by Ross PK
Engadget Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 I have a fetish for fat/gaining women myself, it doesn't come from porn though.
mr.dream merchant Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 I have a fetish for attractive women who aren't overweight, but in fact, in shape.
Author nowrong Posted April 1, 2011 Author Posted April 1, 2011 I have a fetish for fat/gaining women myself, it doesn't come from porn though. So would you be satisfied with a tall skinny girl if she was everything else that you wanted in a woman?
Author nowrong Posted April 1, 2011 Author Posted April 1, 2011 I think she could find out by snooping on his computer some more (not sure if it'd be 'right' though), if he also has pictures of normal sized or skinny women, then it means he obviously finds these sort of women attractive too. Maybe she could ask his friends what his past girlfriends were like. I'm sure he's probably into her. I love chubby women myself, but I still find slim ones to be hot. I am afraid to snoop on his computer. He has dated smaller woman and larger women but his last girlfriend was a size 28 and I am a 10. We do a lot of stuff together including several vacations a year so maybe I should just trust that he loves me but it is very hard to do when he gets off on these grossly overweight women who are sitting in bed and shaking their big asses or stuffing themselves with cake. Literally some of his pictures are of women stuffing an entire cake in their mouth - ugh, I am not going to compete with that.
mr.dream merchant Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 So would you be satisfied with a tall skinny girl if she was everything else that you wanted in a woman? Hmmm. Probably not. Fetishes are powerful. I have a fetish for exotic latin women. Say I was talking to a beautiful African American or Caucasian woman, we dated around for a while (couple months). Then I met a lovely exotic latin woman who was totally into me, and me into her. To be honest, I'd probably stop talking to the African American or Caucasian woman for the latina.
Ross PK Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 I am afraid to snoop on his computer. He has dated smaller woman and larger women but his last girlfriend was a size 28 and I am a 10. We do a lot of stuff together including several vacations a year so maybe I should just trust that he loves me but it is very hard to do when he gets off on these grossly overweight women who are sitting in bed and shaking their big asses or stuffing themselves with cake. Literally some of his pictures are of women stuffing an entire cake in their mouth - ugh, I am not going to compete with that. There you go then, he's dated smaller women. If larger women are a lot more easier for guys to get, then he would've only gone for those. Anyway, I find it kinda hot when I see them stuffing cake into their mouth.
Engadget Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 So would you be satisfied with a tall skinny girl if she was everything else that you wanted in a woman? Currently dating a girl that isn't fat, so yes. But my desire to explore the fetish is still there. I brought it up to her about gaining weight but she's against it as most women are, and I accept that.
Engadget Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Also nowrong I was going to PM you and explain some stuff about what he's into since I share it, but it seems you have PM's disabled. PM me if you wish.
Author nowrong Posted April 2, 2011 Author Posted April 2, 2011 Also nowrong I was going to PM you and explain some stuff about what he's into since I share it, but it seems you have PM's disabled. PM me if you wish. I'm new to here and don't know how to enable the PM. I will try but if not maybe you can leave me instructions here how to do it. Thanks.
Ross PK Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 I'm new to here and don't know how to enable the PM. I will try but if not maybe you can leave me instructions here how to do it. Thanks. You need to either be here for long enough, or have enough posts under your belt for you to have the PM feature.
SummersEve Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 Maybe (if you don't mind) Engadget, you could say it in general instead of personal terms on here? Now I want to know too, lol.
Ginger Beer Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 I've heard that most people (not sure if it's women and guys, or just guys) have at least one fetish. Absolutley nothing wrong with it IMO, seems totally natural. As long as it doesn't cause harm to anyone, and you don't start being innapropriate (like doing stuff in public). What's the definition of a fetish?
Ross PK Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 What's the definition of a fetish? I give a brief explaination in post #32.
DollyGirl12 Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 Some people share their fetishes with their SO and some don't. My ex has a fetish for 3somes with other couples. I remember when we first started dating he asked me if I had ever done something like that and I told him no. He talked about one experience he had when he was younger. However, he was not being honest. He was doing 3somes with others when he was with his previous gf. I then found him emailing couples on Craigslist. Guess he didn't plan on sharing that fetish with me. I also found that his exgf was using BOB on him (Bend over Boyfriend). I'm not so sure I'd be in to that one either! LOL
Engadget Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 Maybe (if you don't mind) Engadget, you could say it in general instead of personal terms on here? Now I want to know too, lol. Well if you google Feederism it should tell you everything.
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