bloppy Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 For some reason I am full of anger today. I have an overwhelming feeling like I need to go & beat the living snot out of the OW. Not that I ever would but just thinking about it makes me feel better. Plus she would probably end up beating me because she is bigger than I am. Does anyone else ever feel like this? How do you deal with it?
silktricks Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 (edited) Go play raquetball. Picture the face of whomever on the ball everytime you hit it. It won't do great for your aim, nor your game, but it'll work the anger out of your system. (At least it does for me. ) (I understand meditation works, too, but when I'm really angry I can't meditate ) Edited March 30, 2011 by silktricks
WorldIsYours Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 For some reason I am full of anger today. I have an overwhelming feeling like I need to go & beat the living snot out of the OW. Not that I ever would but just thinking about it makes me feel better. Plus she would probably end up beating me because she is bigger than I am. Does anyone else ever feel like this? How do you deal with it? When I was with the ex, I ignored her and started living for myself. Doing things that could put a smile on my face, even if it was temporary. As time went by it got easier. Divorcing your WH can make you feel better also. Just a sidenote: Even if you don't fight the OW, I've seen people who are tall and large, get their asses kicked by someone half their size.
Memphis Raines Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 well its been a while since having any anger towards the OM or the x-wife, but when I did get angry, I just went to the gym or went home and relaxed with a glass of wine. but the best way I dealt with the anger was to divorce her. because now they are together and everyone now talks about how they are in hell. fight alot, no money. life is good.
Author bloppy Posted March 30, 2011 Author Posted March 30, 2011 World I do know quite a few short & scrappy people most are members of my own family! Memphis a glass of wine sounds very tempting right now but I have to go out later this afternoon. It is on this evening wine or a beer I haven't decided!
2sure Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 My H had several OW during the course of our marriage. Obviously, the problem was my H - not the OW. But a couple of them made it hard for me. And in turn, I created some "difficulties" for them. Turns out doing so did not make me feel any better.
What_Next Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Anger is normal, anger is natural. It comes less and less to me now, but when it does it is VERY intense. I still haven't made my own peace with it yet, nor have I really decided that I am not going to beat the hell out of her AP, in the end though you already know it'll do little good. I have come to internalize some of the anger, to even feed from it. I use it as a virtual fuel of sorts. It can sometimes be useful in a way as twisted as that sounds. More often than not though I take a page from the books from those that have posted and either try and do something I enjoy, or use physical exercise to burn it off. The feelings of anger can be very intense to say the least and I suspect they'll be with me in some form for a long time to come.
Spark1111 Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Anger is normal, anger is natural. It comes less and less to me now, but when it does it is VERY intense. I still haven't made my own peace with it yet, nor have I really decided that I am not going to beat the hell out of her AP, in the end though you already know it'll do little good. I have come to internalize some of the anger, to even feed from it. I use it as a virtual fuel of sorts. It can sometimes be useful in a way as twisted as that sounds. More often than not though I take a page from the books from those that have posted and either try and do something I enjoy, or use physical exercise to burn it off. The feelings of anger can be very intense to say the least and I suspect they'll be with me in some form for a long time to come. Great post WN! I too use anger to fuel me to action; I went to the gym, started taking classes in everything from stained glass making to country line dancing. Even though I discovered I did not have an aptitude for either, I needed diversions from my own anger until the rudder would right itself! Physical exercise where you exert energy and start to sweat was hugely therapeutic for me, as was ONE glass of wine at night to fall asleep on... But no more! On the nights I drank more, the anger came up from my toes and I could turn into a screaming banshee! As for the OW? She would probably run out of the area like a startled bunny if she ever saw you.:bunny: Well, mine did at least.
ComputerJock Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Twice a week I take a kick boxing class where I get to kick and beat the sh*t out of my ex and don't get sent to jail.
bentnotbroken Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 For some reason I am full of anger today. I have an overwhelming feeling like I need to go & beat the living snot out of the OW. Not that I ever would but just thinking about it makes me feel better. Plus she would probably end up beating me because she is bigger than I am. Does anyone else ever feel like this? How do you deal with it? :lmao:I haven't heard this phrase for ages. I am sorry, I am not laughing at your situation or your feelings, that phrase just reminds me of a different time. Your feelings are normal and part of the roller coaster ride. Some days the anger blazes out of no where. Just when you find your footing, oops, the slip. I used to box when I felt that way. It opened up a new workout of for me and it released so much pent up emotion. I also used to fantasize a lot. :pIt worked wonders.
sugarbritches Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 For some reason I am full of anger today. I have an overwhelming feeling like I need to go & beat the living snot out of the OW. Not that I ever would but just thinking about it makes me feel better. Plus she would probably end up beating me because she is bigger than I am. Does anyone else ever feel like this? How do you deal with it? Bloppy, Anger is one of the normal stages you will have to get thru to heal. I remember throwing a cup of hot coffee at my husband and taking off down the hallway after him, my son 16 at the time, said Mom you have always been my rock, you are alway calm and talk things out, you are making me scared. So I then took my anger to the walking trail and would walk miles and miles until I calmed down. I never raised my voice or thru another thing at my ex after my son told me that. I read up about the stages you go thru, anger is normal. You have to find what is right for you so you can controll it. Good luck to you. Plus don't worry about the OW, she is trash and doesn't deserve your anger!!
Author bloppy Posted March 30, 2011 Author Posted March 30, 2011 I am feeling a little better now. I turned on the Wii fit & got alittle exercise. I never knew how uncoordinated I was until I got the Wii. I'm surprised I can walk & chew gum at the same time!
mbm69 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Twice a week I take a kick boxing class where I get to kick and beat the sh*t out of my ex and don't get sent to jail. Second that! I do karate and kickboxing. If I don't have a sparring partner to beat the crap out of, I use a punching bag. I used to have anger control issues, which have greatly reduced with this. I also agree with another poster that said that anger when channeled appropriately can give you a boost of energy to accomplish things. I find anger a much better sentiment than sadness for that.
Ann_Igma Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 I agree with those who've said exercise (walking, raquetball, kickboxing, etc) - it really does help a lot. Also though, I find baking bread from scratch to be therapeutic.. You can work out some of your anger when you're kneading the dough as well as when it's time to punch down the dough. Also though, you get that small sense of accomplishment from having created something.
What_Next Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Ann_Igma, you are on to something there. I suspect though it's not as much the actual bread baking but rather giving your mind something else to focus on. In the early stages post D-day my anger was almost impossible to deal with. It would envade my mind and be almost all consuming. This whole process was new to me, something I never experienced before. However, as time wore on I developed my own coping strategies. One common theme was a form of re-direction. I would focus my attention elsewhere and the anger would be in a way pushed out of the way. Sometimes that was physical exercise, sometimes it was mental exercise. Each person will usually find their own way to deal with the anger, otherwise risk going slightly mad, well most of us (I know I certainly qualify) are already slightly mad so that might not be a side effect after all....
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