charly26 Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Hi: It's been 3 months of NC with my ex.The last time we saw she asked me to remain friends. Of course, I said no. I need to heal, and as I read somewhere in this forum, I wanted a complete bread, not just crumbs. We study at college in a special program where we have to attend classes on certain weekend. But we go to different classes and on different days. But in 3 weeks, our classes are gonna be on the same weekend, and there's a possibility that we might run into each other at the cafeteria or somewhere at college. To be honest, I don't want to see her at all. I don't feel ready to even strike a conversation with her. I'm still in some pain even though I have made good progress in my recovery. She probably is all right and would have no problem talking to me (she is the dumper), but I still don't want to be seen. I could avoid going to the cafeteria in order not to see her, but do you think I'm freaking out? is this normal behavior? I have known nothing about her since 3 months. I still want her back, but those feelings are fading as days pass. is my way of thinking ok? (trying to avoid her)
Empath Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Sometimes you can't avoid contact during your healing, and I feel you, it sucks. I would usually advise keeping your distance, but not in this case. Whether you want her to be or not, your lives have wound together and you will need to shed your fear of it -- because you can't afford not to for your well-being. By avoiding the caffeteria you are denying something for yourself. But more than that, you will not shed the fear and dread of "bumping into her anyway". In short, you can't sidestep this one. I would urge you to do do your thing, if you bump into each other be polite, wave and roll with the punches. Find somewhere to recoup if it hits you badly. As you know with your own healing, you can only revisit a scenario, memory or picture so many times before it fades to gray. The good news is that getting over this particular scenario will make you stronger than ever before, but the pain will temporarily be immense.
Author charly26 Posted April 23, 2011 Author Posted April 23, 2011 The day of class finally arrived and I did all my stuff as I normally do: I was in my class talking to my classmates, went outside for some relaxation, walked as I normally do, etc. There were a lot of people because as I mentioned it was going to be a day in which many groups of students were going. I never ran into her, and I never looked around as if trying to find her in the crows. I guess it must happen for a reason. So my NC period is still going on. I have a question: my birthday is going to be in three days, she might send me a mail or text message congratulating me. In fact, when we last saw each other three months ago, she said she'd do that. If she does, should I break NC by replying her text with a "Thanks"?
Recommended Posts