Jerrica Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Just wondering if any of your ex's has been verbally abusive since the breakup? Almost as if you were the ones to break up with them? If so, what kinds of things would they say? How did you handle it? Did you believe what they said?
Fufu Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Whatever they said or do, especially the hurting words no longer matter to you anymore. First they break up with you, secondly they use hurting words at you, is it necessary to know whether they are telling the true or not? To me, say whatever they want. If they choose to hurt people with their actions and words, let them be. You can choose to let go and move on and be happy From my own past relationship, my ex bf said lots of hurting words to me after we broke up and I did wonder why he do this to me when he was very sweet to me in the past. However, I realize all those sweet words were past. Now, he is being mean to me. While some said he is being mean to you is being good to me so I can move on faster, I agree to this to a certain extent. However, I will choose to look for the MAN who will walk through any obstacles in our lives we will face together.
betterdeal Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Just wondering if any of your ex's has been verbally abusive since the breakup? Almost as if you were the ones to break up with them? If so, what kinds of things would they say? How did you handle it? Did you believe what they said? Yep, lots of things intended to hurt and many of them hit right home. I bottled it up and absorbed it all. It contributed to my attempt kill myself (although I stress that it was only one factor in my decision). We continued to try and reconcile after we split and each night would end with cruel words. The last time we met, I thought (although didn't say) "I'm not putting up with this. I won't be talked to like that." and that was a major turning point: I had separated my self from her self. Now I maintain no contact. I have disowned the pain she gave to me from her past. What matters most is what we say to ourselves. In my case, I had a reasonable concern that any confrontation with her could have led to serious harm e.g. her or me attempting suicide or losing my or her marbles (again). If your ex is abusive, they are a toxic substance to you. Don't put toxic substances into your system and you'll get better. No contact.
marqueemoon4 Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 my ex has said some pretty hateful things to me since she left.. mainly insinuating I'm a "bad person" and I don't care about our son. To me this is far more damaging then any name calling.
Author Jerrica Posted March 30, 2011 Author Posted March 30, 2011 Did you ever find it was almost addictive though? Like the worse things he says to me, the harder I feel like trying to win over his affection. The more he says "don't ever contact me again!!!" the more it makes me want to do the exact opposite! I am okay with the breakup, and once I started being okay with it and wanting to move on is when he started being all nasty. It honestly seems to be working because I feel like the bad guy now and like running to him to try to make peace between us (not to reconcile, but just peace). We broke up on good terms, he was nice for about a week before he did a 180 into hating me...his hate for me (which maybe is in reality hate for himself) is SO hurtful. Ever since I have been feeling more depressed and weaker in terms of keeping no contact. I was so strong and doing SO well before, and now he is bringing me down and I almost feel like really anxious like going through withdrawal or something...
Fufu Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Why would you want to win a guy's affection who put you down over and over again? Unless you enjoy being tortured........mentally. Be happy you move on The nastier he treats you, the better you should feel you are being away and away and away from him.
jackymark001 Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 Verbal abuse creates emotional pain and mental anguish. It is a lie told to you or about you. Generally, verbal abuse defines people telling them what they are, what they think, their motives, and so forth. The best way to deal with a verbally abusive relationship, whether you are the target of verbal abuse or the perpetrator, is to find out everything you can about verbally abusive relationships and their dynamics. Usually one person is blaming, accusing, even name calling, and the other is defending and explaining. There is a lot of information on this site. Please don’t miss the links both at the left side-bar and near the bottom of this page. As you find out about verbal abuse, you can find out what is wrong with people who are verbally abusive, and what you might do about it. A phone consultation pulls it all together in just 1 hour. Please call 925 934 5972 for details.
hurley21 Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 I've been in a verbally abusive relationship for the majority of my life. Can't seem to escape those type of men. (until now! i AM RESOLVED) Hopefully. Anyway, they use the verbal abuse as a tool. Either a person will resort to that or not, despite the status of the relationship. If it comes up during a break up, it was bound to come up eventually. So, good riddens to the fellow, move on with your life and find a man who won't verbally abuse you. The addicted to it part. Yes, been there. I figured that if he was still fighting, he still cared. When they stop fighting and seem fine with things is when you know someone is truly done with another.
Recommended Posts