Sugarkane Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Considering having a LDR with a guy I met during the summer. Does it help or will it drive us further apart? My gut feeling is the latter.
Pyro Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 can't speak for everyone but definitely worth it. Takes patience, trust, and communication to make a LDR work properly.
HeavenOrHell Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 How long is a piece of string! LDR's work for some people but not for others, depends on so many things.
aisle_seat Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 (edited) LDR's take a lot trust and commitment, same as any other successful relationship. While it's also important in any relationship, there is an emphasis on really good communication. When you're together, there is usually a lot of non-verbal communication but with an LDR, it's all about writing and talking and keeping a schedule for phone calls and/or skyping. How good are you at expressing your feelings through talking? How about him? Also, how often will you be able to see each other (be together)? Are we talking a 2 hour car ride every weekend or 5 hour plane ride every few months? The less often you can see each other, the more important communication typically is. Edited March 30, 2011 by aisle_seat
taiko Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 In my opinion only with an end game in sight. They are not for casual dating but rather just as a stop gap until circumstances allow for a life partnership.
creighton0123 Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Are long distance relationships worth it? Absolutely not, if the goal is only to maintain a casual romance over a long distance. The chance at the phenomenal, life-long relationship after the distance separation ends, however, is worth the risk of maintaining romance over a long distance for a certain amount of time.
aerogurl87 Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 In my opinion only with an end game in sight. They are not for casual dating but rather just as a stop gap until circumstances allow for a life partnership. This ^^^^ My boyfriend and I wouldn't have made it if an ending wasn't in sight. And even with one in sight, we still broke up twice before I moved to be with him. So yeah, I'd say it's definitely not for the faint of heart, but can be well worth it in the end. I know I for one am happy I did the LDR with my boyfriend.
purplepanda Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 yes, because you fight LESS, you talk about anything and everything (if communication is good) because you have a lot of time to get to know each other in and out. It's less focused on physical things... and each time you see each other, it's twice as special as seeing each other every day. Though I'd LIKE to see them everyday, but just because they're far doesn't mean I don't want to be with them. Plus, if it doesn't work out, you won't run into them at the store or on the street!!!
creighton0123 Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 It's less focused on physical things... Who said LDR's are less focused on physical things? Boyfriend and I spent more time sans clothes at a distance than we did when we are together. :-D
Rollercoasterr Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 In my case, definitely worth it. Sure, distance sucks, but it made us appreciate each other so much more. We learned that by surviving our LDR we could get through anything together. Our wedding day was so special on so many levels, but after it was all said and done(and we made it to our honeymoon after being lost for 4 hours!), letting the fact sink in that we were husband and wife and we'd never ever have to be without each other again was the most amazing feeling in the world. LDR's aren't for everyone, but to some people it's all they've got. It isn't for the casual dater, it's for the people who can't imagine their lives without that other half of them. Good luck in whatever you choose!
folieadeux Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 From my personal experience, it's totally worth it. LDR's aren't for everyone and both people have to be committed to making it work. If you're having doubts already, I honestly wouldn't even bother. As other posters mentioned, this isn't a situation where casually seeing someone would work. But if you're serious about one another, then it deserves a fair chance. Best of luck to you both.
paiger Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 In my opinion, it is not worth it. It takes a certain person to be in a long distance relationship. And as much as you hear all these success stories of them working out (not to sound cynical but just a little realisitic) you may not end up being the "exception". Also it's HARD. It takes trust and a **** load of work. And I can't even begin with stress.. But then again there IS the POV of "what if". I mean you don't want to go through your life wondering "what if I did try this LDR with him?" Sometimes you gotta make the mistake in order to grow. Best of luck
TheLoneSock Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Heh heh, to some it is, to most it is not. Some people require it in order to find a proper match (small dating pool, living in the middle of no where, general distaste for the available options). Some people also disregard all of that and it's simply because distance is not an issue for them. But most people have no problems finding someone nearby. It depends on your situation.
Fufu Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 I believe it is worth it, however if you are the one thinking it's worth it and your partner doesn't. It is difficult for the relationship to last.
Pyro Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 In my opinion, it is not worth it. It takes a certain person to be in a long distance relationship. And as much as you hear all these success stories of them working out (not to sound cynical but just a little realisitic) you may not end up being the "exception". Also it's HARD. It takes trust and a **** load of work. And I can't even begin with stress.. But then again there IS the POV of "what if". I mean you don't want to go through your life wondering "what if I did try this LDR with him?" Sometimes you gotta make the mistake in order to grow. Best of luck The hardest part of my LDR has been getting the money together for the various fees. Stress isn't even in our category. Even if mine hadn't worked out it still would've been worth it. I always thought people were crazy to do it because I personally thought that I would have trust issues being so far apart but I'm in one and the complete opposite has happened to me.
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