Titania22 Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Hey Guys, I have been wondering about something for a few days, and thought I would throw it out to you to see what you think. The assumption is that each of us have an image in mind of the perfect physically attractive image is. The question is What would you be willing to overlook in a partner that had this perfect form? I guess it could be broken into 2 parts, as I am sure physical attractiveness seems more exciting when your first with someone, then it is over time of knowing them. So what would you be willing to overlook at first? What could you overlook long term? Just a bit of fun for the middle of the week.
somedude81 Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 I'm confused. Do you want us to think of a negative trait, that's not a deal-breaker that we can overlook if they were hot enough? I could overlook a girl not being into video games as long as she was thin and busty. Did I do it right?
Dust Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 I'm confused. Do you want us to think of a negative trait, that's not a deal-breaker that we can overlook if they were hot enough? I could overlook a girl not being into video games as long as she was thin and busty. Did I do it right? The way I understood the question it assumed the partner was physically attractive. What would you be willing to overlook early in the relationship and what would you be willing to overlook long term. Short term a lot could be overlooked, like not even being able to speak English. In the long term though, it boils down to love. If the love isn't there or disappears then the relationship won't last.
Nexus One Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 So what would you be willing to overlook at first? What could you overlook long term? Short term: - Not being able to communicate very well due to different languages. I'd probably learn her language, but would also ask her if she would be willing to learn English. Eventually I would want to be able to communicate fluently with her. Long term: - Her being dirt poor. Money just doesn't matter to me when it comes to women. Although it would be nice if she could at least sustain herself, not so much for me, but for her own good. I'm not sure if I would be overlooking anything in this regard though, because this is my opinion by default.
Author Titania22 Posted March 30, 2011 Author Posted March 30, 2011 Yes Somedude I guess that is what I meant, though I guess I wasn't thinking of it quite in such stark terms. Dust you make a good point. I hadn't considered a language barrier. I think I was considering things like rudeness, selfishness, having a bad temper, being inconsiderate. And sumdude, i didn't mean just someone who had a nice figure, more like the most gorgeous girl you ever saw, so that you can't think straight you are so overcome. I wonder if being around someone, whose very presence makes you incapable of coherent thought, for long enough, that at some point your brain would kick back in. Could a person be so blinded by their fantasy come to life, that they lose all ability to see the reality of the person who is actually before them?
Author Titania22 Posted March 30, 2011 Author Posted March 30, 2011 Short term: - Not being able to communicate very well due to different languages. I'd probably learn her language, but would also ask her if she would be willing to learn English. Eventually I would want to be able to communicate fluently with her. Long term: - Her being dirt poor. Money just doesn't matter to me when it comes to women. Although it would be nice if she could at least sustain herself, not so much for me, but for her own good. I'm not sure if I would be overlooking anything in this regard though, because this is my opinion by default. I like your answer. Since money kind of matter in terms of survival, but doesn't really matter in terms of who a person is. Again language has been brought up, I really don't know how I would deal with that one if I was faced with it.
somedude81 Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 If a I had a super hot girlfriend, I'd be OK with her not wanting to go out dancing. I've been taking ballroom and salsa for a few years now, and it's something I would really want to do as a couple. If a girl wasn't that hot and didn't want to go out, I'd probably dump her over it.
Author Titania22 Posted March 30, 2011 Author Posted March 30, 2011 If a I had a super hot girlfriend, I'd be OK with her not wanting to go out dancing. I've been taking ballroom and salsa for a few years now, and it's something I would really want to do as a couple. If a girl wasn't that hot and didn't want to go out, I'd probably dump her over it. That's great Somedude, as someone who also likes dancing, I totally agree. It was really hard being married to a man who didn't dance, and long term it can be a big killjoy. Being with someone you are crazy about though, is well worth letting dancing go for.
Feelin Frisky Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 (edited) After some thought, I just don't get involved with someone who has things I can't overlook. That would be wrong. But there are a lot of things I accept. Things I won't hack: smoking, bad breath, religiosity, racism, republicans, morbid obesity, too much my senior, too much my junior, unwilling to accomodate my needs, lousy taste in music, excessive materialism, masculinity, stingy with the felatio Things I will: overweight, some alcohol and weed, some looks issues, foreign languages, other races Thus, I am single. Edited March 30, 2011 by Feelin Frisky
Author Titania22 Posted March 30, 2011 Author Posted March 30, 2011 Good for you Feeling Frisky. Given that you guys have given me some food for thought, and knowing that 21days from now I will be in the same room as a man who epitomises my physical ideal, I have another question for you. Given that the actual man inhabiting said physical perfection would be highly unlikely to consider me as a potential partner, and given that I don't really know the person, just hints of personality and said physical perfection. If in the unlikely event I had the opportunity to engage in sexual activity with him, would that be a wise or foolish thing to do in your opinions? Essentially it would be a once in a lifetime opportunity to touch "physical perfection". (which wouldn't necessarily equate to quality of the sexual experience)
utterer of lies Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 This is a tricky question. There are lots of things that I would overlook for a ****buddy, but not for a girlfriend. For example, I prefer women who are slightly overweight. I have no problem with fat girls, but if they are so fat that they cannot represent properly at an official function, that's a no-go, even if I personally would still be attracted to her. Its ok if a woman can't cook well or doesn't know wines or whatnot, but if she cannot host reasonably high-level dinner with business contact guests, that's a no-go. I also don't care if she's not very educated or knowledgeable about art, culture and such, but if she cannot hold a conversation with my friends (most of whom have a PhD), that's a no-go. I can overlook if she isn't very ambitious, but she does need to be passionate about something.
utterer of lies Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Given that the actual man inhabiting said physical perfection would be highly unlikely to consider me as a potential partner, and given that I don't really know the person, just hints of personality and said physical perfection. If in the unlikely event I had the opportunity to engage in sexual activity with him, would that be a wise or foolish thing to do in your opinions? It would be foolish, but sometimes that's the right thing to do. If you don't, you will regret it for the rest of your life. If you do it and regret it, at least you tried and learned something from it
Leeway Harris Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Given that the actual man inhabiting said physical perfection would be highly unlikely to consider me as a potential partner, and given that I don't really know the person, just hints of personality and said physical perfection. If in the unlikely event I had the opportunity to engage in sexual activity with him, would that be a wise or foolish thing to do in your opinions? Essentially it would be a once in a lifetime opportunity to touch "physical perfection". (which wouldn't necessarily equate to quality of the sexual experience) What would you have to lose? If I had the opportunity to "touch physical perfection" I hope I'd have the guts to take it.
EasyHeart Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 I think we're missing the most obvious one: if a woman is hot enough, in the short term I can overlook that she's dumb as a post. The other obvious one is that if she's hot enough, I can overlook that she's married. Given that the actual man inhabiting said physical perfection would be highly unlikely to consider me as a potential partner, and given that I don't really know the person, just hints of personality and said physical perfection. If in the unlikely event I had the opportunity to engage in sexual activity with him, would that be a wise or foolish thing to do in your opinions? Essentially it would be a once in a lifetime opportunity to touch "physical perfection". (which wouldn't necessarily equate to quality of the sexual experience)Don't do it. Fantasies are best left in the fantasy world.
Mrlonelyone Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 As I bi guy if were talking short term. If a man or woman is hot enough I can overlook all kinds of incompatibility because it's just short term. However now that I have grown a bit and I'm looking for long term relationships with future marriage/domestic partner potential things are different. I will not overlook any obvious "cant stand" deal breakers for the sake of being with a hot enough person. No siry bob can't do it. That said I would pursue a "physically perfect" person with a bit more vigour than I would someone who's not. It would be dishonest for me to say otherwise. People my age are too old to change significantly in a short time period. I would not want someone else to change or compromise their core values for me...just as much as I would not do that for them. @Titania22 Nice thought experiment. These may sound...like they couldn't possibly have any bearing on the real world. Yet the most powerful computer we have for modeling the world is between our ears. You have harnessed yours well.
Cee Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 At this point in my life, I can't afford to overlook things that matter. And those things are related to a person's goodness, core values, and the way he treats himself, me, and others. I also need a man who is a critical thinker and has a skeptical world view. It's a tall order, but I'm dating a guy like that. There's nothing to overlook about him because I adore him in his totality.
Leeway Harris Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 You guys, she's talking about doing him, not dating him. Wouldn't you want the experience of being with your physical ideal, even for just one night? I still have a hard time understanding why anyone would say no to that, other than for personal moral and/or religious reasons.
Author Titania22 Posted March 30, 2011 Author Posted March 30, 2011 I can overlook if she isn't very ambitious, but she does need to be passionate about something. Utterer, you sure have it sorted. What would you have to lose? If I had the opportunity to "touch physical perfection" I hope I'd have the guts to take it. I think we're missing the most obvious one: if a woman is hot enough, in the short term I can overlook that she's dumb as a post. The other obvious one is that if she's hot enough, I can overlook that she's married. Don't do it. Fantasies are best left in the fantasy world. Thanks for all your responses, very thought provoking. It all happens on LS while I am sleeping. @Titania22 Nice thought experiment. These may sound...like they couldn't possibly have any bearing on the real world. Yet the most powerful computer we have for modeling the world is between our ears. You have harnessed yours well. My Lonelyone, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I personally love a good thought experiment. And a personal favourite is putting myself in an unusual situation and asking myself what I would be likely to do. And then learning more about myself from my answer. This one in particular has spawned some side questions, like if you were attracted to the person inside the body, would you still be attracted to the person if they were in a less attractive or unattractive body? I think an honest answer for me, would be, as a friend, but nothing more. The original question was somewhat spawned by the recogition, that although i can like most people when I don't know them, I tend to dislike most people once I start to know more about them. Which means the probability of me disliking someone is higher than me liking them, regardless of their body, and initial attraction. At this point in my life, I can't afford to overlook things that matter. And those things are related to a person's goodness, core values, and the way he treats himself, me, and others. I also need a man who is a critical thinker and has a skeptical world view. It's a tall order, but I'm dating a guy like that. There's nothing to overlook about him because I adore him in his totality. I wonder if I have such a point in my life. I get that you are referring to overlooking things that matter. I just wonder what makes this point in your life different from the other points in your life. Anyway guys, it occurred to me after I went to bed last night, that once I am in the situation, I am unlike to have the power of rational thought, and will be most likely operating at the level of stimulus/response.
Feelin Frisky Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Good for you Feeling Frisky. Given that you guys have given me some food for thought, and knowing that 21days from now I will be in the same room as a man who epitomises my physical ideal, I have another question for you. Given that the actual man inhabiting said physical perfection would be highly unlikely to consider me as a potential partner, and given that I don't really know the person, just hints of personality and said physical perfection. If in the unlikely event I had the opportunity to engage in sexual activity with him, would that be a wise or foolish thing to do in your opinions? Essentially it would be a once in a lifetime opportunity to touch "physical perfection". (which wouldn't necessarily equate to quality of the sexual experience) Sure. That's what we call "scoring". Who doesn't want that one chance to have what and who you want? Gosh.
Cee Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Tatiana, by reading your other threads, you and I are in similar positions. We are "older" women and LTRs are elusive, however, casual sex is abundant. For awhile, I thought casual sex and fwb would hold me over until I met the right man. But those guys distracted me from seeing the good, available men out there. The men of quality. When I cut off the users and players, I began to see the good men. It was kind of amazing how it happened. How I could see the pearls instead of the swine. It's tough out there so you have my best wishes and I appreciate your reflections.
welikeincrowds Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Titania, I would be willing to put up with an Australian accent.
Author Titania22 Posted March 30, 2011 Author Posted March 30, 2011 Tatiana, by reading your other threads, you and I are in similar positions. We are "older" women and LTRs are elusive, however, casual sex is abundant. For awhile, I thought casual sex and fwb would hold me over until I met the right man. But those guys distracted me from seeing the good, available men out there. The men of quality. When I cut off the users and players, I began to see the good men. It was kind of amazing how it happened. How I could see the pearls instead of the swine. It's tough out there so you have my best wishes and I appreciate your reflections. Thanks Cee, I hear you. Obviously this thread wasn't so much about dating, as it was a thought experiment. I have ceased all dating and socialising to meet new people, these past few weeks, and am really happy. This future event "being in the same room as my physical ideal" is a one time anomaly. Most likely nothing will happen other then me being able to look upon him in the flesh. I had a thought a few days ago, of how cool it would be if he could have a more available doppleganger, and then i wondered if that would indeed be cool, because that person would be a different person despite outward appearance, and I wondered how much that would matter to me.
fishtaco Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Short term - I agree with MrLonelyone, I wouldn't care. Long term - I would not give up anything I normally wouldn't give up anyway. In the beginning I'd probably put up with crap just because she's super hot, but eventually, looks wear off. In fact, the attractiveness of a person changes as you get to know them better. So if she keeps annoying me, eventually, even though she may still look exactly the same, she'll be less attractive to me in my eyes. And it's not something "I want to do", that's just a natural uncontrollable reaction. So for long term, if it's not going to work with a cute girl, it's not going to work with a hot girl. But, I'll most likely be blinded by the hotness, and try anyway. Then it'll crash and burn, and I'll swear I'll never do it again, and then I'll do it again.
Author Titania22 Posted March 30, 2011 Author Posted March 30, 2011 Titania, I would be willing to put up with an Australian accent. Cute! ten characters
Author Titania22 Posted March 30, 2011 Author Posted March 30, 2011 Short term - I agree with MrLonelyone, I wouldn't care. Long term - I would not give up anything I normally wouldn't give up anyway. In the beginning I'd probably put up with crap just because she's super hot, but eventually, looks wear off. In fact, the attractiveness of a person changes as you get to know them better. So if she keeps annoying me, eventually, even though she may still look exactly the same, she'll be less attractive to me in my eyes. And it's not something "I want to do", that's just a natural uncontrollable reaction. So for long term, if it's not going to work with a cute girl, it's not going to work with a hot girl. But, I'll most likely be blinded by the hotness, and try anyway. Then it'll crash and burn, and I'll swear I'll never do it again, and then I'll do it again. Truer words are rarely spoken.
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