What Do Women Really Want? To Marry a Rich Man

[donnamaybe]

You know you ladies are right women never consider a mans finances when making dating decisions.

But that wasn't the permise behind this thread. The OP said women might find a rich guy, but as soon as a RICHER guy comes along, the first one is no longer good enough. That equates to saying all women are greedy, money grubbing leeches.

 

Now THAT attitude is what I would NEVER label as "mature."

[Eeyore79]

Give a man a job, his paycheck will also feed at least one woman and one child. Give a woman a job, her paycheck will go to a shoe store because her husband's paycheck already feeds her and her child.

To be fair, some women are single mothers who have to support children by themselves. Some of them get money from their exes, but not all of them do, and those who do get money usually don't get enough to allow them to be stay-at-home moms. Also, in the years before childbirth and marriage a woman will have equivalent costs for housing and feeding herself, and there won't be a man around to pay for her.

 

Also your argument about women always wanting more educated men is incorrect; I have a PhD, and I wouldn't want to date a man with a PhD. A PhD often lowers your earning potential, so I don't want a guy who is limited in that way. I'd like a man of at least equivalent earning potential to myself, although if he's equally as smart as me and didn't waste his time doing a PhD then he's likely to be earning more than I do.

[Kelemort]

Stop being so butthurt about some money-grabbing girls you dated in the past, or the one that got away and took everything out of your joint bank account and stripped your apartment bare. The only thing those women share in common with other women is their gender. And, well, I guess they share their money-grabbiness with other women who have money-grabbing tendencies.

 

More women probably marry up now because they have more access to people in other economic classes. In the old days - even in the '50s - people primarily married in their geographic area. They married younger in life (average age was around 20 - 22 back then), so they likely wouldn't be marrying someone who was much wealthier at that point in their lives. People now have much more access to people of other socioeconomic classes because of the Internet.

 

So, there are a lot of factors at play here. The access to people with more money is better. I don't think it's purely "I'm out to get a rich man" so much as "I like this guy and he happens to have some money."

 

Seriously, if some of you continue to carry this kind of negativity about women - and you're serious about it - you're going to have a hard time forging relationships in the future.

[Untouchable_Fire]

To be fair, some women are single mothers who have to support children by themselves. Some of them get money from their exes, but not all of them do, and those who do get money usually don't get enough to allow them to be stay-at-home moms. Also, in the years before childbirth and marriage a woman will have equivalent costs for housing and feeding herself, and there won't be a man around to pay for her.

Also your argument about women always wanting more educated men is incorrect; I have a PhD, and I wouldn't want to date a man with a PhD. A PhD often lowers your earning potential, so I don't want a guy who is limited in that way. I'd like a man of at least equivalent earning potential to myself, although if he's equally as smart as me and didn't waste his time doing a PhD then he's likely to be earning more than I do.

 

During the last 99.999999% of human history that role was fulfilled by the woman's Father or Family. Since were are all here today... I think that worked just fine.

 

Look, OP might have gone a bit far out there with bombastic statements.... but the core idea is really sound.

 

I got married when I was 20. The woman I married was extremely motivated and worked hard. By the time we graduated she got a job that made twice what mine did. It was completely INTOLERABLE to her. I would say 80% of our fights were about money. We divorced at 23. Unless something has changed... I believe statistically most divorces are caused by money.

[donnamaybe]

Stop being so butthurt about some money-grabbing girls you dated in the past, or the one that got away and took everything out of your joint bank account and stripped your apartment bare. The only thing those women share in common with other women is their gender. And, well, I guess they share their money-grabbiness with other women who have money-grabbing tendencies.

 

More women probably marry up now because they have more access to people in other economic classes. In the old days - even in the '50s - people primarily married in their geographic area. They married younger in life (average age was around 20 - 22 back then), so they likely wouldn't be marrying someone who was much wealthier at that point in their lives. People now have much more access to people of other socioeconomic classes because of the Internet.

 

So, there are a lot of factors at play here. The access to people with more money is better. I don't think it's purely "I'm out to get a rich man" so much as "I like this guy and he happens to have some money."

 

Seriously, if some of you continue to carry this kind of negativity about women - and you're serious about it - you're going to have a hard time forging relationships in the future.

A voice of reason and intelligence amid the din.

 

THANK YOU!

[donnamaybe]

I got married when I was 20. The woman I married was extremely motivated and worked hard. By the time we graduated she got a job that made twice what mine did. It was completely INTOLERABLE to her. I would say 80% of our fights were about money. We divorced at 23. Unless something has changed... I believe statistically most divorces are caused by money.

Unless any of the rest of us in this thread was there to actually KNOW what the money fighting was about, we won't know for certain it wasn't because perhaps you wanted expensive toys or some similar issue.

 

I have known LOTS of men who care more about having expensive toys so they can "measure up" to their man-child friends.

 

There are three sides to every story. Your side, her side, and the truth.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Men are psychopathic sexually sadistic murderers. After all, Ted Bundy was a man. That can be absolutely proven. Thus, my statement is unassailably correct.

 

Oh, wait. All guys are closet gay transvestites. It's a known fact that J. Edgar Hoover was, and it's a known fact also that he was a man. This just proves my point.

 

I could go on ...

[Woggle]

Men are psychopathic sexually sadistic murderers. After all, Ted Bundy was a man. That can be absolutely proven. Thus, my statement is unassailably correct.

 

Oh, wait. All guys are closet gay transvestites. It's a known fact that J. Edgar Hoover was, and it's a known fact also that he was a man. This just proves my point.

 

I could go on ...

 

My mother used to say that deep down every man is a rapist but some don't act on it. She also says that every father deep down fantasizes about molesting his daughters and she actually means it when she says stuff like this. I have heard it all.

[sally4sara]

My mother used to say that deep down every man is a rapist but some don't act on it. She also says that every father deep down fantasizes about molesting his daughters and she actually means it when she says stuff like this. I have heard it all.

 

So then the OP is a person very similar to your mother -all crazy, hateful, and lacking logic.

Maybe its a dietary thing? If we feed the OP and you mother different food like you would for a cranky dog maybe they will mellow out.

[Woggle]

So then the OP is a person very similar to your mother -all crazy, hateful, and lacking logic.

Maybe its a dietary thing? If we feed the OP and you mother different food like you would for a cranky dog maybe they will mellow out.

 

I don't think there is any cure for people like that. I have cut off all contact with her because I realize she will never change because she does not want to. She is convinced that she is a victim and all men have to pay.

 

I don't think it is right to generalize women but it is just as wrong to generalize men. I wish people got as angry about the latter as they do the former. It's okay to say that all men are cheating dogs and overgrown babies but god forbid a man should say something negative in the other direction.

[betterdeal]

During the last 99.999999% of human history that role was fulfilled by the woman's Father or Family.

 

Except the many matriarchal societies past and present suggest this "fact" to be just another variation in the multitude of ways humans organise themselves in societies, roles and responsibilities. Add to that the billions of people who live in extended families and communal living arrangements, and it's easy to see the patriarchal nuclear family model to be just one of many.

[betterdeal]

I don't think it is right to generalize women but it is just as wrong to generalize men. I wish people got as angry about the latter as they do the former. It's okay to say that all men are cheating dogs and overgrown babies but god forbid a man should say something negative in the other direction.

 

I also find both misogyny and misandry abhorrent and massively flawed. As a man, I prefer to challenge misogynists, in much the same way I prefer to challenge white supremacists - because they don't represent me, and my objection as one of the group they represent feels more effective. I get awkward challenging women who hate me for being born, and I think other women challenging them is more effective.

 

Just my opinion.

[donnamaybe]

My mother used to say that deep down every man is a rapist but some don't act on it. She also says that every father deep down fantasizes about molesting his daughters and she actually means it when she says stuff like this. I have heard it all.

Are you equating the guys in this thread who are generalizing about women to your mom and her generalizing about men?

[Untouchable_Fire]

Unless any of the rest of us in this thread was there to actually KNOW what the money fighting was about, we won't know for certain it wasn't because perhaps you wanted expensive toys or some similar issue.

I have known LOTS of men who care more about having expensive toys so they can "measure up" to their man-child friends.

There are three sides to every story. Your side, her side, and the truth.

 

Yeah... some guys are like that. Not me when I was 23. I still lived like a college student.

 

The truth is simple. She expected me to go to medical school and be a wealthy physician. I was working towards that goal when we got married. When I didn't get accepted and chose to do something else... she lost the patience to wait for me to find something good. She just saw me working a dead end job with no goal in mind. That wasn't attractive or acceptable to her. So she focused on the money and used to to try and push me.

 

Looking back... she wasn't a bad person... just an intolerable bit*h. We should have stayed friends and never been lovers.

 

Men are psychopathic sexually sadistic murderers. After all, Ted Bundy was a man. That can be absolutely proven. Thus, my statement is unassailably correct.

Oh, wait. All guys are closet gay transvestites. It's a known fact that J. Edgar Hoover was, and it's a known fact also that he was a man. This just proves my point.

I could go on ...

 

Why did I find that funny and not offensive?

[Woggle]

Are you equating the guys in this thread who are generalizing about women to your mom and her generalizing about men?

 

They are very similar though I have yet to meet anybody as hateful as her. I really think she would kill a man if she could get away with it and I am not exaggerating.

[SummersEve]

During the last 99.999999% of human history that role was fulfilled by the woman's Father or Family. Since were are all here today... I think that worked just fine.

 

Look, OP might have gone a bit far out there with bombastic statements.... but the core idea is really sound.

 

I got married when I was 20. The woman I married was extremely motivated and worked hard. By the time we graduated she got a job that made twice what mine did. It was completely INTOLERABLE to her. I would say 80% of our fights were about money. We divorced at 23. Unless something has changed... I believe statistically most divorces are caused by money.

 

Your marriage ending over money doesn't mean most divorces are caused by money. Statistically, your divorce was probably caused by getting married at 20 years old.

 

The OP's statements were rude and left out the tiny detail that it's not "women" who want "men's" rightful money so they can "go buy shoes." It is because most of the way things are done is for the couple's CHILDREN, not because the woman wants to be dependent etc. It's a shame you fail to see all the insult in that. It's really not intelligent enough to even debate.

 

As far as your statement that "it is wrong to USE somebody and dump them when somebody comes along," who said anything about "using?" Dating is just dating. You are trying each other out, you are not married. If at any time you decide to leave, for any reason, then that is just fine. There could be other circumstances, like say if your regularly opened your mouth and led the other person to believe that you were marching down the path to the altar when you had no intentions of it, but that was nowhere included in my original post. "Used" is presumptious, it implies that marriage is owed just due to dating.

 

I am picking up bitterness on this thread that isn't in my life and that I don't want, so I guess I'll leave it now.

[donnamaybe]

Yeah... some guys are like that. Not me when I was 23. I still lived like a college student.

 

The truth is simple. She expected me to go to medical school and be a wealthy physician. I was working towards that goal when we got married. When I didn't get accepted and chose to do something else... she lost the patience to wait for me to find something good. She just saw me working a dead end job with no goal in mind. That wasn't attractive or acceptable to her. So she focused on the money and used to to try and push me.

 

Looking back... she wasn't a bad person... just an intolerable bit*h. We should have stayed friends and never been lovers.

Then she is ONE of THOSE women. Not ALL women.

 

 

 

Why did I find that funny and not offensive?

Because it was INTENDED to be, unlike this and every other mysoginist thread on this forum.

[Woggle]

Yes men like to buy toys but what about some women and their obsession with expensive fashion? Is buying a thousand dollar handbag any better than buying a a 52 inch flat screen TV? My wife and I just bought a boat together which is our first big joint purchase so I guess we both like toys.

[donnamaybe]

Yes men like to buy toys but what about some women and their obsession with expensive fashion? Is buying a thousand dollar handbag any better than buying a a 52 inch flat screen TV? My wife and I just bought a boat together which is our first big joint purchase so I guess we both like toys.

Thank GOODNESS you said "some" women. You're making progress.

 

No, it's no better. However, some people - men (a bro-in-law of mine for one) and women - feel more justified in spending the lion's share of "fun money" than their partner. I never did understand that. Even when I am in the position of earning more than my partner (which has been more often than not), I have always and will always be of the mindset that we decide TOGETHER on large purchases, and the small ones are made with the greater good always in mind.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Except the many matriarchal societies past and present suggest this "fact" to be just another variation in the multitude of ways humans organise themselves in societies, roles and responsibilities. Add to that the billions of people who live in extended families and communal living arrangements, and it's easy to see the patriarchal nuclear family model to be just one of many.

 

I would say sure... as long as it works. Matriarchal societies don't work... they fail horribly.

 

It's the top reason African American culture can't get out of their rut. Sure latent racism doesn't help... but every other ethnic group has overcome that with relative ease.

[SummersEve]

Ladies and Gents: Really, there are just too many idiot misogynist rant threads here. It is making me sick.

 

If others feel the same, please report offensive posts to the moderators. Let's make this a place where people enjoy being. JMHO, naturally.

[NXS]

I think it's interesting that a lot of the posters here are criticising the OP yet a few of the female posters have stated they want their partner to at least earn as much as they do and some of the male posters have stated that their partners earning more led to them being disrespected.

 

Now with all the equality we've had over the past few decades and the fact that women now outnumber men as college graduates are women now going to support stay at home dads? After all men have been doing this for centuries. Perhaps it's time women worked 40+ years and hand over the paycheck at the end of the week.

[Mr.Cairo]

I would say sure... as long as it works. Matriarchal societies don't work... they fail horribly.

 

It's the top reason African American culture can't get out of their rut. Sure latent racism doesn't help... but every other ethnic group has overcome that with relative ease.

 

It has more to do with African women being repressed by black men. The men who are given power over women eventually take down their own culture. Sweden is a matriarchy and it works perfectly. Almost everyone can be considered rich by European standards, there's almost no rape, and women are respected.

 

The sooner the every Country's government is replaced by a female ruling body(100%) the faster we can create an utopia on planet Earth. Wars will end, rapes will end, suffering, poverty and disease will end.

[Mr.Cairo]

I think it's interesting that a lot of the posters here are criticising the OP yet a few of the female posters have stated they want their partner to at least earn as much as they do and some of the male posters have stated that their partners earning more led to them being disrespected.

 

Now with all the equality we've had over the past few decades and the fact that women now outnumber men as college graduates are women now going to support stay at home dads? After all men have been doing this for centuries. Perhaps it's time women worked 40+ years and hand over the paycheck at the end of the week.

 

 

Stay at home dads? what for? Women can and have demonstrated that they can be single mothers, raising a child to optimum standards without having any male in the house or even dating.

 

Women are more than capable of providing for their children, emotionally, financially, and in education. Maybe if 100% of women were given child-custody, there wouldn't be so many dead-beats running because they would be raised to be proper men, raised to be so, by women.

[donnamaybe]

I think it's interesting that a lot of the posters here are criticising the OP yet a few of the female posters have stated they want their partner to at least earn as much as they do and some of the male posters have stated that their partners earning more led to them being disrespected.

 

Now with all the equality we've had over the past few decades and the fact that women now outnumber men as college graduates are women now going to support stay at home dads? After all men have been doing this for centuries. Perhaps it's time women worked 40+ years and hand over the paycheck at the end of the week.

I also know many women who DO work a 40 hour week with a stay at home "man" who doesn't do a damn thing but play Call of Duty on the internet all day.