No_hope Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 This isn't going to be what you are wanting it to be... just warning you now. so my ex cheated on me, left me for another girl and drugs 6 weeks before our wedding, we also have a 12 month old together, who he no longer wants anything to do with. I did LC with him for the first 2 months, he never replied back to me, I just said things like "____ is walking!" "___misses you" etc he replied back once. after 2 weeks. then I called him and we talked about custody, I still wanted him back, waking up every morning knowing he was with some other girl, still hurt and confused, crying all day, felt like our family was broken. Asking anyone who would talk to me "why did he do this?" and just making myself feel even worse. I was comparing myself to the other girl, like she is ugly, so why did he do this? well she is skinnier then me, and doesn't have post- baby body, so maybe thats why. She does drugs and parties so maybe that's why.. because maybe I am just too boring. Maybe it was because I spent all my time focusing on my kids, and getting through school to start my career. etc I was begging him to reconsider, telling him how much I miss him and love him etc. well I cut contact with him for 3 weeks, then I slipped up and just yelled at him asking what I did wrong (he didn't reply) at this point I am not even counting NC anymore. I came to a realization I am just perfect the way I am! I am not boring, I am pretty exciting to be with, yes I have a saggy tummy, but honestly, if he loved me it wouldn't matter. I am a mom I can't go out and party, and I don't want to. I decided I want to make the best of my life with my kids (I have a 3 year old -long story). I decided it's awesome because I get to raise my kids the way I want to, even though me and my ex hardly ever had fights - there will be NO more fighting! At all! my house will be peaceful. At night time when my kids are in bed I can do what ever the hell I want to. I don't have to get mad anymore because he didn't do his dishes, didn't take out the garbage, isn't helping me with my kids etc. I can decorate the house how ever I want to and not hear "it looks retarded". I can cuddle up with my kids and read book after book with them, and not hear "you read to them too much" And I can watch whatever *I* want to on TV. I can eat a tub of ice cream, and not worry about being judged. I don't have to stress over him doing drugs because it's not my problem anymore, since he is unemployed I don't have to constantly help him try and get a job, I don't have another mouth to feed. there is no more false hope, because if something doesn't happen, I don't get disappointed. so yeah, I think because I stopped talking to him, and stopped stalking him (lol) via facebook/myspace. and just let go, I am now happy again, I don't cry, I get happy wondering what is next for my kids and I. I love decorating my house the way I want. I love being able to study and not feel guilty, and I also reconnected with old friends who I probably would never of hung out with. anymore NC success stories like this? I hope all the rest of you get to this point!!!!
Author No_hope Posted March 30, 2011 Author Posted March 30, 2011 Thank you! How about everyone does something like I did? List a few things that you are GLAD the relationship is over. Just to get you through the no contact period, or hopefully heal yourself if it never works. really would like to hear from everyone!
Fufu Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Great thread, NC really works Works for ourselves to be real happy.
Popondetta Posted April 3, 2011 Posted April 3, 2011 Thank you! How about everyone does something like I did? List a few things that you are GLAD the relationship is over. Just to get you through the no contact period, or hopefully heal yourself if it never works. really would like to hear from everyone! I've made a thread where everyone can write a list of what they don't like about their ex, and what makes them NOT want to get back with their ex. I think it's a good mental exercise for all of us to focus on what made us unhappy in the relationship, instead of obsessing about a "perfect" ex
Trovador Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Congrats! As an aside, it is sad that some of the stuff you do and enjoy now, you should be able to do with your partner around... but that's life... As per your suggestion: It's crazy to expect something from someone who can't give anything...
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