Ross PK Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Ross, let's just say that sex and family are absolutely worth it. If it wasn't then humanity would have died out long ago. The fact that it is worth means automatically it will probably not be easy. Feelings are pretty much information, they aren't supposed to take over your rational judgment. Feelings let you know when you have crossed over (or someone else has) a boundary in your basic template. It is up to you to decide whether or not your basic template serves you and what to do with that feeling. As you grow older your comfort zone expands or shrinks based on the information you feed back into your brain. Right now it seems that you are allowing fear of rejection to cloud the basic rationale that getting rejected by 100 girls could bring you closer to being accepted by 100 girls. No one is going to show up to your Christmas Party without an invitation. If you invite 100 people, maybe only 5 will RSVP and show up. That's 5 more then if you didn't invite anyone. Maybe when you invite 100 people and no one shows up you can assess your factors on why they didn't. You can look over your invitation and see what information you presented. I.e. if you put on your invitation that everyone that comes gets to clean your house or something stupid, then you remove that term and try to have another party. Maybe you have chocolate fountain instead or something. Just keep trying different dynamics until you find something. Frankly, I think that you don't want to step outside of your comfort zone and either be proven right or crash and burn on a date. You are reinforcing your own flawed beliefs by sitting here on LS night after night pining for girls that have no idea that you are interested. I get that. Honestly, I feel often that by losing weight it may be very detrimental to my self-esteem because what if it turns out that I am just really ugly and then I have no excuse for why some people don't like me or a bunch of guys don't find me attractive. Truly, I did overcome that a little while ago because I figured out that I don't love myself because of my ability/inability to attract the opposite sex. I love other things about me and that is enough. Don't get stuck in that time, it wastes a lot of time and energy on feeding 'a big nothing..' You look fine to me.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 et's just say that sex and family are absolutely worth it. If it wasn't then humanity would have died out long ago. The fact that it is worth means automatically it will probably not be easy. If the chemical high produced during sex is taken away, sex is not worth all the hassle, potential stds, emotional problems, broken-up homes and such. Check out the Asexual forums to see what I'm talking about. Their bodies are working, but due to something they aren't interested in sex. Pardon me, We'll go on the assumption that Ross is not asexual and that asexuality is not the common thread running through humanity. Family would still be worth it. Little kids etc. are awesome and so is having a life partner (when it is healthy). So barring asexuality (assuming your facts are correct) I stand by my stance.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 You look fine to me. Thank you, I am sure without the excess weight I would be about a '6' so I am fine with that. I also don't post the most unflattering shots of myself either. I do have some of me 35-40 lbs heavier then I am now and I will probably post them up when I have made a little more progress. I was pretty heavy in the family pic I posted. The stress over the Summer caused me to pack on pounds. I tend to hide behind sugar under stress. But anyways it was more addressing your irrational fear then mine LOL. if you start trying to even get up to the point where you can ask a girl you will becOme more comfortable. Since I am not asexual I can tell you that choosing your fear over playing the odds is causing you to really miss out and it also makes for one less available hetero man on the market. So more women end up with those dumb player dudes! Your woman could be getting played right now! LOL
spiderowl Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 (edited) You're right, it's not just about sex. Being a player is about invading and conquering - invading the woman's mind and life and conquering her body. Once she's let the player into her life and given up her body to him too, he loses interest. He doesn't just go for the sex, he wants to walk around in her life for a while to see if he can. It's all about power not sex and that's why players are not 'jack-the-lads' who sweet talk the ladies into bed, they are something else entirely. Edited April 2, 2011 by spiderowl
dreamingoftigers Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 Maybe they are asexual and overcompensating.
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