lawlz_xD Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 So it all started last December, I met this girl and the typical thing happened, it was amazing and all that. I've had a rough history with relationships that I do not like to talk about and a couple other hidden things NOONE else knows. However, me and her got extremely close and we shared everything about each other, and became best friends, true best friends. We understood each other, talked all the time, etc. etc. But we developed feelings for each other and she had a plethora of problems (she still had a guy she was not COMPLETELY over, she didn't like him anymore, but they weren't friends anymore but used to be very close and she regrets all the things she's done to him). Basically, she was indecisive with this guy and hurt him, and herself, very badly. However, I was convinced that I was going to be the guy that would win her over because I really believed what we had was special, I've never been this close to someone before. However, I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said no...not because she didn't like me enough but because she was scared of having a relationship and the whole deal with the other guy, etc. But we still pressed on and got even closer after that, and did things that a couple would do (we kissed, etc. etc.) We had a lot of problems but it brang us closer...than a series of things started happening. She kissed another guy over a truth or dare game, and he tried to do things with her, although she didn't let him. When she told me this, I was extremely hurt but I was understanding and knew that she didn't do it to hurt me...but than...shortly after that...she the guy that I mentioned in the first paragraph to her Junior Prom, and not me, even though we were basically dating and she acknowledged it. That hurt me even more... Ever since than...I was able to get over it (not fully, it still lingered in the back of my mind), and we still had disagreements here and there. We rarely got to see each other, despite having 2 classes together at school because of her extracurriculars and such...even weekends were full. I got frustrated because I would only get to talk to her 5 minutes a day and one day, I flipped out and just lost hope for our relationship and expressed it in a conversation with her. This broke her heart and the next day, she also gave up...and told me she wanted to end it. This completely crushed me as I didn't mean most of the things I said but it still hurt her so much...but that night, she started regretting ending it with me and told me to eat lunch with her the next day...so I did, and we cuddled and ended up kissing. I was confused because she ended it with me? That was on Friday and she asked for the weekend to decide what she wanted, go back to me or stay broken up. It was a long weekend and on Monday...she decided she couldn't do it...she couldn't be with me...She broke my heart on Thursday...got my hopes up with the whole regret talk...kissed me on Friday...made me wait the weekend for her decision..and than broke my heart again on Monday. The worst part is, I was moving on pretty quickly after she broke my heart on Thursday, and she was crying. But after Monday, she seems completely happy and smiling, but i'm the one that's hurting...I don't understand... How can a kiss on Friday, her telling me she loves me, end up like this? I find it hard to move on...because I still believe that we can be together...
Fufu Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Your believe in "We can be together" is going to destroy you ultimately. Both of you were never truly in a relationship, as much as I hate to say this. You may really love her, has strong feelings for her but whatever she said to you, she just doesn't want to be with you and you can't force love, and definitely don't waste time on people who don't feel the same way as you feel for them. Again as I have always said in other threads, if they are truly into you and are serious with you, they won't leave you so easily.
Author lawlz_xD Posted March 30, 2011 Author Posted March 30, 2011 Fufu, thank you for the encouraging words. After she ended it, she said she was desperate to remain best friends, as that was what we were before. However, I told her that was the worst thing to do and we'd never be able to move on...she cried and cried and cried. Anyways, I've decided to initiate NC and have finished my first day but...here's the problem. We have 2 classes together, 3 hours a day, for another 5 weeks before I graduate high school...after the "second" time she ended it with me, shes super hyper and smiling and laughing and it hurts me to see her move on so quickly after a DAY?! After the 1st breakup just 4 days ago she was in shambles and I was the one that was laughing and smiling. How can I be successful with NC in this situation?
Fufu Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 lawlz_xD: When she broke up with you, she already doesn't treat you like a friend.. I'm happy to hear you are starting NC. Be happy you see the REAL her now than later. Since she's feeling she's not being hurt and upset, you can too, you can start to have a positive mindset and start to think how to make yourself happy. You can be successful in NC, you have to believe it and put your mind into it. Everytime, you think of what she feels or thinks, you will get tempted and you will have to stop yourself from thinking. Everytime you sit through the roller coaster moods, you become stronger and stronger. You may wish to read one of my thread on how to get into NC Mood. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t271118/ You can do it, have the believe and faith in yourself.
Author lawlz_xD Posted April 2, 2011 Author Posted April 2, 2011 Fufu...after not even a week of NC...she's talked to me. On Thursday (yesterday), I saw her and simply said Hi and smiled (just trying to be civil)...she than replied with a sarcastic "Wow, you're actually talking to me." and walked off. I just shrugged it off and walked away but today, after one of our classes, she asked to talk to me. I said sure and she apologized for what she did the day before. I said its ok and asked her how she was doing? She said bad and said she missed her best friend (me) and started crying. I asked her why she was crying and she said she's hurting so much right now. This doesn't make any sense? She's the one that ended it with me and I'm starting to do much better...but she's still hurting. She says that she tries to be positive and laugh and smile but she's thinking about me ALL the time. I truly do want to work things out with her so I asked her to come over to my house and watch movies with me...and she said ok, but only as friends and mentioned that she didn't regret her decision. This hurts. Have I screwed myself over?
Fufu Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 I just want to say, don't initiate any contact with her, not even hi, because in your heart when you say hi to her, how do you feel? You feel unhappy, not right, weak, heart trembling, probably even a little fear? She could feel hurt right now, however do not give in unless she is sure of what she wants. Right at this moment, she maybe unsure and confused. However, do you want to be with someone who doesn't know what she wants in her life? Unless she made firm decision to be with you again, to work things out with you then both of you have something to talk about rebuilding relationship. Now, she is just using you, using you as a fall back plan. Unfortunately, I have to say this to her. Stop talking to her and please don't go and invite her to come to your house and watch movies unless you enjoy being confused by her actions and thoughts. Do you enjoy being with this woman you love very much but you don't have a proper and real status being with her? So who do you think you are to her now? Friend? Lover? Ex bf? or the official bf? Please start NC at all cause.
Fufu Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 Oh i just read that she is coming over to your house and only as a friend, see do you want that? No right, so please please please start NC for yourself.
Fufu Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 I made a typo error, it should be, "Unfortunately, I have to say this to you." Gosh i'm tired from long hours of car ride.
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