todd Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 Today I got some more crumbs from my ex girlfriend and I dont know if I should respond at all with something short and to the point. I have already sent here all of my feelings before I went NC so she should know what this is all about. Quick Background: We dated about 2.5 yrs, We broke up because she wanted to experience others and also be single, we remained friends/ sometimes friends with benefits for about 2 years, She dated one guy for about a year and just got serious in another relationship with a guy after saying she wanted to still be single so I finally went NC for past 1.5 months and have been trying to work on myself and let her be without me. Her message: Why you defriend me? (Happened two weeks ago) How can you want nothing to do with me? I dont understand and it really hurts. After everything we have been through together and the time weve spend together I dont understand how you can just completely cut me out of your life. I thought you were my friend. The only friend I had that knew everything about me and that I could trust. I understand if it hurts it would hurt me too if I was in teh same position. But I would never stop being there for you or stop being your friend. It seems like you want to forget everything and that we were ever friends. I mean why cant you even talk to me? Then she called me but I didnt pick up. no voicemail. She has also been giving me random crumbs weekly since NC began. I broke NC once to give her a quick explanation of why I couldnt be there for her anymore (again) before I went back NC. Any advice, should I just stay NC or should I send her some sort of quick response. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
orangelady Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 Today I got some more crumbs from my ex girlfriend and I dont know if I should respond at all with something short and to the point. I have already sent here all of my feelings before I went NC so she should know what this is all about. Quick Background: We dated about 2.5 yrs, We broke up because she wanted to experience others and also be single, we remained friends/ sometimes friends with benefits for about 2 years, She dated one guy for about a year and just got serious in another relationship with a guy after saying she wanted to still be single so I finally went NC for past 1.5 months and have been trying to work on myself and let her be without me. Her message: Why you defriend me? (Happened two weeks ago) How can you want nothing to do with me? I dont understand and it really hurts. After everything we have been through together and the time weve spend together I dont understand how you can just completely cut me out of your life. I thought you were my friend. The only friend I had that knew everything about me and that I could trust. I understand if it hurts it would hurt me too if I was in teh same position. But I would never stop being there for you or stop being your friend. It seems like you want to forget everything and that we were ever friends. I mean why cant you even talk to me? Then she called me but I didnt pick up. no voicemail. She has also been giving me random crumbs weekly since NC began. I broke NC once to give her a quick explanation of why I couldnt be there for her anymore (again) before I went back NC. Any advice, should I just stay NC or should I send her some sort of quick response. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. It really depends on whether you are over her or not and if you still have feelings for her. I don't think a friendship like that is healthy for both of you. I've heard of exes still being able to be good friends after a break up but yours doesn't seem to fall into that category. Women generally tend to need some kind of emotional support from a man and that is you but I guess she wants to see other men as well so she wants to have the best of both worlds.
Author todd Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 I still do have feelings for her I think.. It is a little hard because I think I could handle it but then when I see her with someone else I think that would put me over the edge. This past week has actually been pretty big steps for me though. I have read some books and I think I am on path to correcting some things about me for my future relaitonships. I tried to be her friend over these years but I told her that I just couldnt be anymore because I still wanted what we had when we were in a relationship and tht is why I went NC, to get to a point where I can work on myself and not constantly be hoping of the day we could have what we did before. I think she really needs to be SINGLE. I mean actually single, not boyfriends and no me. She has always had someone in her life. That is what I think would be best, for her to take a break for a month or two completely from any guys including me. But I cant tell her what to do, its her life.
Fufu Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 Dont pick up the crumbs and don't put it into your mouth. Will you prefer to enjoy a full bread for breakfast or just breadcrumbs? You are doing a good job maintaining NC, carry on and don't let some breadcrumbs tempt you over.
Chi townD Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 What does she expect you to do? Be there to listen to her problems and help her pick out her outfit for her date while you sit at home waiting for a text or a phone call? Is that being fair to you? Stay NC for your own sanity. Find a girl that wants to be there for you and you only cause there's no other place she'd rather be. Is a great thing that you're doing by reading self help books to fix YOU, because the next girl you meet is gonna be blown away by you!
Author todd Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 Thanks for your response guys. Sadly that is somewhat what I used to do with her. We considered eachother best friends, even though she was dating another guy I went on trips with her and her family where we acted like a couple. When her or her family needed help with anything I was there to lend a hand. I would go shopping with her and hang out with her when she wanted (I look back and think how I was just like her little dog, she would say come and I would jump right on it hoping for a treat lol). Even though I have started focusing on myself now I used to always put everyone elses priorities first and just go with the flow of things. I am starting to become stronger, stand up to people, and be decisive when someone asks me what I want. Again thanks everyone for you help.
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