Hopeless Girl Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 I wrote the other day my ex and I have been text communicating and I got way too over excited and misconstrusted things. I met up with him and yea he has no IDEA why he dumped me but I am 100% its because he thinks we are so different that in the long run we arent gonna work. Like I said, he had an issue with his ex gf where he had to go to psychologist to get over her. He said to me that im not the first he dumps out of the blue but that I am the only one who was his girlfriend and whom he loved a lot. He says he doesnt want to make his issues mine. Anyways, when I met up with him he was like I dunno, i have mixed feelings,I wanna kiss u but I shouldnt I still care but I cant be with u right now. He tells me that who knows if tomorrow or next week or in a month or 4 hell realize things and ask me out again. Yet I was like hope u find a girl that makes u happy and that made him really upset. He also told me there was a girl who was hitting on him and he tells me about another girl ( I used to hate) that asked him about me and he tells her theyre not together. He says things to make me jealous or to see if I care. I acted like i actually didnt give a damn. I agree we are total opposites but opposites attract. Is he scared Ill dump him cause he is possesive and jealous? I wont here from him for a while and Im devastated. He told me he misses me so much but I didnt respond. He tells me that when he has an "answer" to him dumping me he'll tell me. But for now, its over. What can I do to get him back? Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Pull away, hope. The sooner you do it, the better. Make him feel the consequences of breaking up with you by not responding to him. This? I met up with him and yea he has no IDEA why he dumped me but I am 100% its because he thinks we are so different that in the long run we arent gonna workHe's the only one who can change his mind and there's nothing you can do to make that happen. I do believe that when someone says they don't think it's going to work out/they think space and time apart is needed/they don't think you're going to last/etc. the ex they part from can only act in ways that will enforce those beliefs. I mean, he says something like that in similar effect here: Anyways, when I met up with him he was like I dunno, i have mixed feelings,I wanna kiss u but I shouldnt I still care but I cant be with u right now See? He said "right now." Please do not sabotage whatever chance you have by doing things to get him back. For me, if I'm not sure that doing something will get me the outcome I want, I do nothing. Your guy sounds like he doesn't want anything to do with romance and if he ends up dating other girls, so what? That's why moving on is so important. You really have to assume that your ex isn't coming back even when he says he's not ready for you at the moment. The couples who I've seen successfully reconcile, the one who was hurt (dumpee here) the most took the time to go through the ugly stuff (you know, crying, pain, hurt, etc.), heal, enjoyed their time, dated, etc.... that person never forgot the lessons. So when the ex came back, the dumpee was in a much secure place with himself/herself; it didn't matter if the ex stayed or left again. Or you can exhaust all possible options, too. Keep contacting him, keep asking him if he's okay, repeat your message that if he needs anything he can always come to you, do everything that you think you should do to get him back. It's really up to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 You want to be actively chosen, and not settled for. He ends the rs and he has no reasons to it? Are you sure you want to be with this kind of indecisive guy? Link to post Share on other sites
PeachInGeorgia Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 You want to be actively chosen, and not settled for. He ends the rs and he has no reasons to it? Are you sure you want to be with this kind of indecisive guy? Exactly. Trust me, there is someone out there for you who will be totally into you and KNOW why. Link to post Share on other sites
JasonRules Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 I wrote the other day my ex and I have been text communicating and I got way too over excited and misconstrusted things. I met up with him and yea he has no IDEA why he dumped me but I am 100% its because he thinks we are so different that in the long run we arent gonna work. Like I said, he had an issue with his ex gf where he had to go to psychologist to get over her. He said to me that im not the first he dumps out of the blue but that I am the only one who was his girlfriend and whom he loved a lot. He says he doesnt want to make his issues mine. Anyways, when I met up with him he was like I dunno, i have mixed feelings,I wanna kiss u but I shouldnt I still care but I cant be with u right now. He tells me that who knows if tomorrow or next week or in a month or 4 hell realize things and ask me out again. Yet I was like hope u find a girl that makes u happy and that made him really upset. He also told me there was a girl who was hitting on him and he tells me about another girl ( I used to hate) that asked him about me and he tells her theyre not together. He says things to make me jealous or to see if I care. I acted like i actually didnt give a damn. I agree we are total opposites but opposites attract. Is he scared Ill dump him cause he is possesive and jealous? I wont here from him for a while and Im devastated. He told me he misses me so much but I didnt respond. He tells me that when he has an "answer" to him dumping me he'll tell me. But for now, its over. What can I do to get him back? Hopeless, It's a mistake that you actively have contact with your ex. For whatever reason he's pulled away and by you constantly keeping in touch with him that will only make him pull further away. It's basic human psychology. He knows he has you, so why make any effort? My ex started going distant back in December and we were going back and forth till about 3 weeks ago. In the end, I couldn't handle the emotional roller coaster and basically wrote her a letter and ended it. She claimed to have to much "emotional baggage" to be in a relationship right now and also told me "I don't know" when I asked her if "For you, are we done as a couple?". So she didn't give me a definitive answer, just as your guy didn't end it definitely. Our last conversation was almost 3 weeks ago and I have gone completely NC since then. I informed her I will not be talking to her anymore and if she wanted to have a normal relationship with me, then she'll know what to do. Her birthday was yesterday and I didn't even wish her a happy birthday either via phone, text, or email. You see, people only appreciate or realize what they had when they lose it completely. So why settle for second class treatment? Respect yourself first and others will follow. For me, it's "all or nothing". Why? Because I have a lot to offer and deserve to be happy! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hopeless Girl Posted March 30, 2011 Author Share Posted March 30, 2011 Look. I know what you guys mean. I dont call him at all since the break up and stopped texting since yesterday (they day we saw each other). I love this guy and I know he has feelings for me. He says he cant be with me right now, hes confused, and he didnt want to drag me down his emotional baggage (which I would have not mind cause i wanted to be there for him) but I just wanna know if theres some chance if I do initiate NC that he might come back. I mean by all I wrote at the beggining he really does care about me, Why cant there be a chance? Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 (edited) If he truly has feelings for you, he won't leave you and you won't be in this sub-forum posting your break up story. He's not confused, he already has chosen to leave you. Even though he said he's confused, he's really not being confused. And as much as you want to be with him and for him, he doesn't want you to. You go into NC and is not for the HOPE or any WISH he will get back to you, you go into NC is mainly and solely for yourself. The earlier you snap out of this HOPE, the faster you will recover. It can be very painful and bitter now, but you will definitely taste the real sweet happiness faster than pinning hopes on someone who is confused of whether to be with you or not. I've been through what you had been though and I wasted 3 months to 5 months on my ex bf pinning hopes on him and feeling confused all over, at the end of the day, I was the one being hurt and rejected and dejected by his mixed signals. Read one of my thread to how you can get into the No Contact Mood. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t271118/ Edited March 30, 2011 by Fufu Link to post Share on other sites
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