donovant91 Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 im just a bit depressed today. My ex and I were together for 5 years, she broke up with me in a way to cause as much pain as possible and leaves me for another guy, is completely hurtful and disrespectful after the breakup, while i was trying to be polite and keep things civil. Even though her and her new guy have only been together for 4 months, shes engaged to him and moving to his state. We are only 20 and I told her I didn't want to get married yet because Im not ready, and she then leaves me saying I was emotionally abusive to her. I just feel like such a loser, I don't ever want to get back together with her but she made me seem like such a horrible person and that I was holding her back. She blamed me for her cheating on me and leaving me for another guy, while I bent over backwards and pulled strings to spend christmas with her only for her to break up with me for him. I did everything I could to make her happy, and because of that after she left my life was screwed because a lot of it was planned around being with her. I was saving as much money as I could so we could get a place together, I chose a lesser college and went there full time so that I could be closer to her, and she just abandons me with no warning and I was left to try to make sense of it. When we were together I had a lot of girls wanting to be with me, but I turned them all down.. The second another guy likes her shes gone. Ive been able to make small changes but I haven't been able to accomplish any of the goals I've wanted to, even though I did everything possible to reach them, and I'm just feeling really down today. She is moving in with her new boyfriend and getting married, and my life is still the same.
coltsfan1 Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 Try not to worry about her, I can tell you from experience that the first thing you have to do is STOP searching out information about her. Tell yourself and friends you want ZERO info about her. It will only delay your healing. My ex hit me in front of people and cheated then blamed me, it is a way for the ex to justify the way they left and releave THEIR guilty over the relationship. Just remeber it will take time to heal and you have to want to.
Fufu Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 Why are you still finding out what she's doing? Does it really matter to you anymore? She chose to leave you.............. if she really do love you deeply and cherish you, she wouldn't leave you in the first place. Are you sure she's doing far better than you just because she's getting married and moving in with a new guy? You really have to think deeper about this. Being single doesn't mean you are not being happier. If you are in a relationship with someone who doesn't love you the way you love her, than I will call this as depressing. All I can say to you is you have done all your best to love her, to convince her to show her your love for her, she's the one who doesn't reciprocate your feelings. Love yourself now really, and you will be much happier
SummersEve Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 Okay Donovan, I'm an old bat, but I think how things look at this minute is nothing like how things really are. So, you will not be with only one woman your whole life, tied down since age 15. Excellent. You need to sow some wild oats, get out there and date a wide variety of women before you are ready to make such a serious decision as which one to spend the rest of your life with. Five years sounds like a huge amount of time to you I'm sure, it is a quarter of your life. But you could be married for fifty years or more, so careful there, shop around a bit first, imo. The girl you pick at 15 is not likely the one you'd pick at 25. I think this is a good thing although I understand at this time you feel very traumatized. Your girlfriend. Twenty years old, knows a guy for four months, and is going to marry him. Uh yeah, the typical life span of that marriage is about five minutes. You hold on dude. Wait six months and see who has the last laugh. Good luck.
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