EricaH329 Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 Have any of you ever been faced with this? When neither of you have said it yet, but it slips out? I have been with my boyfriend for only a week and a half, and its happened 3 times already. On his part. The first time, I was leaving his house and he kissed me goodbye and said it. I thought I heard him wrong. The second time we were getting off of the phone and he said it, this time I knew what he said but figured it must have been a mistake. The third time was this morning. He was about to leave and he was giving me a hug and kiss goodbye and as he turned to leave he said "I love you". I caught myself in mid-sentence saying it back and stopped myself and said "Oh god!". He turned back and said, "Oh I know, it's too early to say that yet." I can understand how it would feel natural to say it, I almost said it back the third time without thinking. But I feel so incredibly awkward after. Knowing that he doesn't mean to say it, and not saying it back. Has this happened to anyone else? This is the first guy i've noticed this with, and have actually had to stop myself from saying it back. Not sure if that's out of habit or what.
TouchedByViolet Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 I don't think it is an accident the 3rd time around...
alphamale Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 Have any of you ever been faced with this? When neither of you have said it yet, but it slips out? yea it happened to me a few times when i was about to ejaculate inside a new gf. but i guess it doesn't count during sex
Art_Critic Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 yea it happened to me a few times when i was about to ejaculate inside a new gf. but i guess it doesn't count during sex ......
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 Is it that the guy with the lingering ex gf?
Author EricaH329 Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 I don't think it is an accident the 3rd time around... It's only said when saying goodbye, though. I've almost accidentally said it myself, but caught myself before it came out. It's just natural, like I would say 'I love you' to one of my girlfriends. But i'm not sure if a guy thinks that way. I thought it was accidental, but you could be right... Is it that the guy with the lingering ex gf? No definitely not, I stopped dating him.
blackmagik Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 I love you after a week and a half? That is way to soon IMO, however each relationship is different.
Author EricaH329 Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 I love you after a week and a half? That is way to soon IMO, however each relationship is different. Right, which is something both him and I agree on. However, it still slips out. I'm assuming it's because we feel really comfortable with eachother and it's something that's said with people you care for. I don't think he really loves me yet, we've been together for a week and a half but have known eachother for about 3 months. Regardless, I feel awkward after. Like we both know he just said something taboo
MistaDynamic Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 Sounds like this guy is a clinger. I predict after while, as always happens, this type of behavior will repulse you and you'll dump him soon enough.
HappyPanda Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 I love you three times in the first week and a half, and that guy would be seeing nothing but ass and elbows from me... just sayin. To answer your question though, this did happen to me once in my last long distance relationship. We were dating for about 7 months or so, and I was hanging up the phone and just said it.... then I IMMEDIATELY said "Oh My GOD!" and all I could hear as I was hanging up the phone, was him laughing... ... and then he called me right back and said it too
Lilmisus Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 Yeah..that happened to me..and I felt pretty much as you do, except we had been dating for a few months at that point and I wasn't sure if I believed it was an accident that he said it. It was while he was hugging and kissing me goodbye, he squeezed me tight, and said "I love you." I was absolutely shocked and didn't think I heard him right, and just kind of gave him a "what you talkin' bout Willis?" look. He immediately looked frightened after seeing my face and took it back with a "Oh God, I don't know why I said that..oops...sorry...yatayata, I mean...I love you as a friend!" which made it 10 times worse and I told him. He apparently went out to a party after that, got completely trashed, and according to him doesn't remember squat from that night. But that's just according to him. But I'll tell you what a few friends told me: guys don't just say that out of nowhere, he was probably thinking it and it just came out..three times. But guys like your boyfriend annoy me (I'm sorry!). It sounds like he's trying to push it to that level after only a short amount of time and when he knows both of you aren't ready yet for it. Even if he says the opposite, three times is hard to ignore, especially in a week and a half time slot. My cousin is like that, within the first week he's already saying that he loves his new girlfriend (sometimes on the first date) before they really know for sure if it's love that they're feeling. Your boyfriend may have been like that in other relationships, and I think you should ask him. Ask if he's been in love before, and how long it took him to say it. If he says that it typically takes less than..I don't know..a month, and he's said it to like five different girls before you and is only like 16 (you get what I'm saying), then that should be a major red flag. But if you're only the first or second, or even third girl (depending on his age and how many relationships he's been in) that he's done this to, then I think that it could mean something promising in how he feels towards you, and wouldn't think it to be a red flag at all. Just ask him about his past relationships, and that could easily give you the answer to what you're looking for about how he is and if this is really by accident or not.
Author EricaH329 Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 (edited) It is difficult for me to compare our relationship to his past relationship. I'm going to be careful with what I say, just in case he happens to find this thread. I am his second relationship, ever. His first relationship was about 5 years ago (if I remember correctly), and she burned him badly. She ended up cheating on him, and he really loved her. He didn't date since then because he was trying to get himself back to normal (and he hadn't found anyone worth dating). His actions and words leave me confused. I have helped him out of a very very very difficult time in his life, and he always calls me his 'rock'. He is very sweet and affectionate, and treats me extremely well. But, he does contradict himself. For example, i've already met his parents and he has met my father. We have also already had sex. But the other day I was asking him if he wanted to go out with a new friend of mine and her boyfriend. He got upset for some odd reason and told me that he thinks we are moving too fast. I became confused and asked him what he meant, and that since we have already done everything backwards I didn't think hanging out with friends would be moving 'too fast'. That's a completely different story, though. I can feel that he pushes and pulls sometimes. He has told me it's because he got really hurt in his past and he is terrified of it happening again. So when he says that he loves me, i'm not sure if he means it or is accidentally saying it because of the way I make him feel. I should mention that when he says it, he doesn't stare into my eyes or anything like that. It's just a quick 'love you' while saying goodbye. Almost as though it's out of habit (like saying goodbye to a parent or a close friend). But... when I said 'Oh god' earlier today, he didn't say that he didn't mean to say it. All he said was, "I know, it's too early to say that." Sorry, i'm thinking out loud and rambling. Edited March 29, 2011 by EricaH329
tami-chan Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 yea it happened to me a few times when i was about to ejaculate inside a new gf. but i guess it doesn't count during sex leave it to alpha to say something like this...
nezbo Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 yea it happened to me a few times when i was about to ejaculate inside a new gf. but i guess it doesn't count during sex LOL! love it
baguette Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 It really sounds like you should just talk to him about all this, since you're his rock But if you guys want to throw around the "I love you" phrase, just go for it. Just realize that it probably won't mean as much if you really do love each other later on.
Ruby Slippers Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 For example, i've already met his parents and he has met my father. We have also already had sex. In a week and a half, you've managed to meet parents, have sex, and say I love you three times?!! What in the hell is your rush?
SummersEve Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 Not trying to be mean, but this all sounds kinda junior high school. At ten days you can't be in a relationship or in love because you barely know each other. Careful there.
USMCHokie Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 I can feel that he pushes and pulls sometimes. He has told me it's because he got really hurt in his past and he is terrified of it happening again. He's afraid of opening himself up emotionally, yet he's willing to throw around the love...? So when he says that he loves me, i'm not sure if he means it or is accidentally saying it because of the way I make him feel. I should mention that when he says it, he doesn't stare into my eyes or anything like that. It's just a quick 'love you' while saying goodbye. Almost as though it's out of habit (like saying goodbye to a parent or a close friend). It concerns me that those words seemingly mean so little to him...or at least seem less significant as they should be...how will you know when he feels love the way that you interpret or believe it to be if he's already there in words but maybe not in emotion...?
Author EricaH329 Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 In a week and a half, you've managed to meet parents, have sex, and say I love you three times?!! What in the hell is your rush? I really didn't feel like getting into this, but since you asked i'll answer. I stayed at his house for a couple of days when his parents were out of town, and they came back on a day that I was there. So instead of being rude, I met them. He met my father because he came to a birthday dinner of mine that included close friends and family. I had sex with him when we were still dating and hadn't yet become exclusive. We didn't say I love you to eachother. He accidentally said it. Never came straight out, sort of a quick 'I love you' as he was getting off of the phone or saying goodbye. I hope that clears everything up. He's afraid of opening himself up emotionally, yet he's willing to throw around the love...? It concerns me that those words seemingly mean so little to him...or at least seem less significant as they should be...how will you know when he feels love the way that you interpret or believe it to be if he's already there in words but maybe not in emotion...? I don't believe that right now he means them. He doesn't even say them with confidence. I don't think he realizes what he says before he says it. It just sort of... slips out. I don't think he is in love with me and I don't think he means to say those words.
snug.bunny Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 In the few relationships I've had, I love you words were exchanged one year in and another 4 months in. Maybe he FEELS like he is falling in love, in which case I wouldn't discourage him from having those types of feelings but rather be open to the possibility that he is experiencing strong feelings and go from there. If he insists on talking about it in a way that you feel pressured or feel bad because you're not at that stage yet, you can say something along the lines of "I like you, I like where things are going and I want to continue our relationship and developing a solid foundation". Continue spending time together and doing fun/intimate things together, and enjoy each other.
Author EricaH329 Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 In the few relationships I've had, I love you words were exchanged one year in and another 4 months in. Maybe he FEELS like he is falling in love, in which case I wouldn't discourage him from having those types of feelings but rather be open to the possibility that he is experiencing strong feelings and go from there. If he insists on talking about it in a way that you feel pressured or feel bad because you're not at that stage yet, you can say something along the lines of "I like you, I like where things are going and I want to continue our relationship and developing a solid foundation". Continue spending time together and doing fun/intimate things together, and enjoy each other. That is exactly what I was trying to get at. I think he may feel like he is falling in love, and accidentally saying it. I highly doubt he actually loves me yet, he has a hard time with emotionally opening up so I really do believe it's just an accident. It does feel awkward when it happens, because like I said before I know he doesn't mean it yet and I know it was an accident. You are absolutely right though, if it continues I may need to have a little talk with him.
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