How do I handle this ethically?

[GreenPolicy]

I posted this in the dating section, but didn't get any responses. So it's been almost six months since my ex-fiancee left me. I took my time healing and working on myself before finally attempting to date again.

 

I set up a profile on OkCupid and I now have two prospects. I met A first. I really like this girl. We've gone out twice, and the second date was going so well that I knew she would say yes if I asked her out again. This was last Thursday night. I had a wedding and a birthday party going on this weekend, and I didn't want to appear overeager, so I asked her out for Sunday afternoon the weekend of April 2-3. At the end of the date we're making out, and she says "Sunday, April 3rd? That's too long to have to wait to see you again." So I suggested getting together during the week and that I'd call her Sunday (yesterday) to work out the details. So I called her yesterday afternoon, three days after our date, and we've made arrangements for me to go to her place this Thursday and I'm going to cook her dinner. That's in addition to our scheduled date next Sunday. In between dates I don't text or call. The only red flags I can see so far is that she's beautiful and has a lot of male attention. She was telling me about two guy friends of hers that want to be more than friends and she's not into them that way. I figure I have to assume that this early in the game I'm not the only guy in the picture.

 

C is another girl I was chatting with on OKCupid during the same timeframe. We met for drinks last night. C was WAY into me. Usually for a first date with somebody I met online, I try to keep it short, like 1-2 hours and just leave it at drinks. She was very affectionate and throwing a lot of compliments my way, and wanted to grab dinner. I agreed. So then we had dinner, and she said that for a second date, she'd like for me to come over and cook me dinner. Since I already have plans with A for Thursday and Sunday, I said I had previous plans those days and could do something sometime else. So I walk her to her car, give her a hug goodnight, and she says "I'm really into you but I don't kiss on a first date." And I said that was fine, said good night and got into my car and drove off. Then she starts texting me "I wanted to kiss u...I want to keep hanging out" etc. I agreed to meet her at this other bar. We ended up hanging out a total of five hours from first meeting for drinks, then dinner, then drinks again. I broke a lot of my own rules for a first date. At the second bar, we were holding hands, she was still throwing a lot of compliments my way, and then when I walked her to her car, we made out a little bit. She said she was free Saturday for me to come over and I agreed.

 

Ethically, neither one of these girls is my girlfriend, so what I do owe them in the way of disclosure? I haven't had relations with either yet, but if things keep going well, I think that opportunity will present itself with both of them. I like A better, and although she hasn't come on nearly as strong as C, I can tell she is definitely into me. A is four years younger, she's prettier, she's a non-smoker unlike C, and she lives 30 miles from my ex-fiancee, whereas I found out C lives like a mile from my ex-fiancee's apartment and I would have to take the same exit to get to her place. I have avoided that area for the last five months as best as I can, and I always get upset when I have no choice but to drive through it.

 

I like A better and don't want to do anything to f*** up my chances with her. Should I cancel the second date with C, or just see how things play out with A first? If C pushes for sex, should I simply say that this is my first foray back into the dating scene since things ended with my ex, I'm dating other people and right now I'm not looking for anything exclusive? Would that be being honest and setting expectations? (we exchanged romantic history so she got the Cliff's Notes version of what happened with my ex-fiancee). C just came on so strong that I was a little bit intimidated.

 

I've never juggled two women before, but neither one is my girlfriend yet, so I'm not sure what is ethical and what is not. It seems like it's unethical to be sexually active with two different people if they're not aware you're dating other people, even if you use protection like I always do.

[LucreziaBorgia]

The ethical thing? Let C down easy - tell her the truth: that there is someone else and that you are sorry, but that you want to focus on your chances with A. Then, focus on A. It sounds like A is a better match if you are looking for a relationship anyway.