2011 Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 Hi All Well last few weeks (and months especially) have been tough, and i'll not sugar coat it I still think about "her" but not in a needy way anymore, starting to get out my comfort zone now. I know she won't ever contact now, why would she anyway, and if she ever did for some obscure reason it would be to wind me up I know that for sure. We all think NC is going to bring them back somehow but in reality it is for you to heal first and foremost and it had helped me do that no end. I can just imagine how I would feel now if I had been begging and pleading the last few months i'd be suicidal probably because she was a power crazed xxxxx and relished someone chasing her and then blowing them back to the dust. Look if you are in NC imagine it like this, you walk into a long rail tunnel and you don't know where the end is, you start walking and metaphorically each sleeper is one day, you gradually see the light getting smaller at the end you went in but you don't see the light at the other end yet, you then freak and start bailing back but then you start moving forward again thinking I have to go into the darkness to see the light at the other end, you keep doing this, with some relapses until eventually the light fades a lot and you keep going, unsure, you still look back and see faint glimmers (thinking will I just run back - set yourself back) but then bang you are in total darkness and then you think well i've went this far I need to keep going. Well you know the rest, you see the light at the other end eventually but it is still a good bit away (hoping it's not a train coming!) you start thinking about getting to that light at the other end and you speed up and up, then out you come. It has been 3 Months + since I actually seen her, a few tense chats on line and that is it, there is no more period, I have finally entered the zone where I see the light at the other end, there is no more accidental bumping into her online, that is over and it is my decision to totally stop that. She has sapped my energy for too long and it has to stop, I have to pull my socks up and get to that light, I can see it, can you? So I have a date set in two weeks time and I actually feel a bit better about this one as the last two were crap, I just looked at them and thought of her because I was still looking at the light at the start of the tunnel. Hope you can all reach this point soon if you are just starting NC or are having doubts about it, like I did for a while. 2011
optimistgirl Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 Thanks for sharing that. Great analogy. I've just entered that tunnel and I have this empty feeling where there's a void in my life because I'm missing someone that I was close to. As much as I would like to go out and start dating again to fill that void, I've realized that I need to heal myself before entering into any new relationships, so I have to deal with the pain and it's a very uncomfortable feeling. But I know the only way to get through it is to keep going and looking forward, instead of back... I'm encouraged.
joshextreme Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 My light at the end of the tunnel will emerge when prom is over and i never have to see my ex with her soon to be bf agan.
Layzie89 Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 Like optimistgirl said, great analogy sir. Im 2 months into strict NC and I can say i'm starting to see a really dim, faint glimmer in the distance. I haven't back pedaled yet and I plan on keeping it that way...not to say I haven't thought of it however. Thanks for the post, some great inspiration right here.
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